Wait, when I saw this I thought you were talking about this faggot.

http://rallyfox.tumblr.com/

THERE ARE FUCKING TWO OF THEM WHAT THE FUCK.

Not certain if troll.

That paragraph OP posted is a pretty good piece of comic timing.

He could probably pass as outwardly normal if he wasn't such a faggot and bragged about his fetishes everywhere. I guess that can be said for most people on the internet, though.

>>65709
>>65726
read the 75 page story first then you see

>made his own plushie
>strategically placed hole
>removable prosthetic ass

mfw

It would be great if he was a troll, but it seems he's written so much fanfic that he's pitiful no matter what his intent.

>As well as drawing, JohnOFE has attempted writing fanfiction featuring that fucking beaver, all of them consisting of typical furry bullshit. The only exception is one known as Beaver Soup, where he (played as John) stalks Norbert before capturing him and, raping, killing, and skinning him, then finally eating him for dinner.

that's pretty unusual, most lolcows would never harm a hair on their idols, but this guy goes the whole nine yards. color me intrigued.

I can't believe that you could mention this guy without linking his website:

http://www.johnofe.com/

without mentioning that he also has life-sized sex dolls of Brian from Family Guy and a dog

and without mentioning that he underwent VOLUNTARY FUCKING CHEMICAL CASTRATION BECAUSE HE WANTED TO FUCK DOGS SO BADLY

John of E is such a whackjob that I'm not sure he even belongs on this board, for realz.

>each night when i turn out the light and curl around Norbert, I always whisper to him “I still wish I was dead.”
>mfw i can relate to some of the shit this guy is saying
>minus the cartoon characters

Seriously, I don't get the whole violence/mutilation thing. If he loves these characters the way he claims to, in an irl romantic way - why is he so obsessed with showing them being hurt and killed? It's really disturbing.

>>65755
>>65755
He apparently likes guro.

I still find this whole gay furry cartoon obsession of his much more disturbing.

>>65760

Much more disturbing than..Jacking off to mutilating, torturing and murdering things? What the fuck?

>>65761
That's what guro is, most of the time.

gurochan.net/g/

You can thank me later.

>>65762
Hentaifags > Dickgirlfags > Gurofags > Furries > Necrofurries.

It's hard to get lower than where he is right now. And yes, furry is still sicker than guro, deal with it furfags.

He's going to kill himself in 16 years according to his blog. So, there's that.

I really hope this guy isn't left alone with animals.

http://johnofe.com/video/johnofe2.mp4

>>65767
In 16 years? Why the long delay?
What does he hope to achieve in that time?

You know, I aint queer or nothing, but he'd be kinda handsome if he weren't so hideously fucked up.

It's pretty rare to find decent looking lolcows, isn't it? Most of 'em are either fatass neckbeards or got the Fetal Alcohol Syndrome or some other shit so bad they could star in a big budget live action Hollywood movie of Beavis & Butthead.

So many lowcows seem to try and play to the "I'm REAAALLY nice when you get to know me" thing.

i'm going to fuck all of your dogs!

At first I was like:
"This faggot has a typo in the very first paragraph! What a loser!"
>What is do is typical of any human being

But then, I raged:
>my love is for that of a cartoon character


Srsly. Why the fuck do people do these things? And worse yet, why do they feel compelled to share it with the rest of the world? It'd be one thing if they kept it to themselves in their bedroom.

fuck sake

tattoo!

why?

>>65755

I don't know. Maybe we should pair him up with her >>65583.

>>65848
Isn't he gay? Although she is a hairy cave monster so maybe she could pass for a male animal if she wore a strap-on.

I know about him. The original ED had a page on JohnOfE but considered taking it down because he was whoring his fame out on it.

In other words, he is loving all of the troll attention.

I wrote the fucking article dumb ass!

>>65897

Why are you calling him a dumbass for something he had no way of knowing?

>>65790

CWC and ADF may not be "Oh god get it away" ugly, but I really wouldn't consider them decent looking.

what virgins

>Our relationship strong and durable, and most of all it's simple. We have been one since January 2004, which makes it longer lasting than many relationships I have seen come and go around me. Believe it or not, we do have our downs. It's always my fault though, and I'''' always fix it. Norbert just sits there silently until I'm all done being mental.

>There is the problem where I can become so obsessed with the dog and it manifests into great lust for it, which in turn leads to thoughts of real dogs because of how realistic he already is. It is the biggest stresser and the reason behind me getting the libido reducing medication. This feeling is normally triggered by having my favourite images printed and displayed in front of me, especially at work. After a week or so I begin to lust uncontrollably and get aggravated. To counter this I remove all dog images and replace them with Norbert. Beaver therapy. This works greatly. It's my fault for displaying the images of Dog in front of me to see all day every day, I should better; I do know better yet I still do it out of desire for him. It's conflicting. Best practice is to not have the pictures up. Tress levels decrease dramatically when I only have images of Norbert on display. In my mind I already have him so I don't have this massive longing that can torment me like the Dog does.

>I went to see a special doctor and and asked if I could be prescribed a chemical castration drug called cyproterone. After much discussion I was deemed an acceptable case, and I am now on it. I am now much safer to be around then I was, and no longer driven by sexual desire. It's actually quite a relief and I am greatly thankful for this drug, it's working wonders for me. Everything remains; My love and great passion for Norbert Beaver and even my interest in dogs. The only thing different now is that I don't think about sex, it's simply not part of my life any more. I don't feel like I'm going without because there's no desire for it in the first place, so I'm still happy. This whole experience has strengthened my relationship with Norbert and we are very happy together.

>I have tried I leave Norbert about 2 times now, all have been total failure as you can see. In early 2005 something compelled me to stop seeing Norbert, it lasted a week. Going back to him was a breath of fresh air and pleasure. The last time I did was in late 2006, I decided it was time for me to be normal and meet some guys. First thing I did was strip my room of all Norbert and go totally without. This only moved the problem somewhere else, I had to lavish my love on something so it all ended up going on Dog (Footrot Flats). 2 weeks past and I realised it was stupid to even try, I couldn't kid myself any more. I came to a great realisation that being a furry isn't actually all that BAD, I accepted the fact that I was probably going to be this was for a very long that and that I need to just roll with it. I accepted Norbert Beaver as my significant other and decided to devote my love to him. I got a tattoo of him on my arm to mark this time in my life.

>Months later I was shown a place called the basement, it was a wonderful place. It was a dark maze of dark rooms and passage ways, full of naked middle-aged men all horny for a good fuck. I went through a phase where this was my thing and liked it. After a few visits though I started to loath the human male, I know it's not fair because they were all gross and old but that's besides that point; I wasn't aroused enough any of the time at all to make it count. There for I am STILL a virgin even today. What did I do all that time at the basement then? Use you imagination! It's not worth destroying your mind explaining.

>We enjoyed the evening before settling down for some good sex, which pretty much went on until about 5am. We even involved Norbert, my plushy. It was kinky! I never thought I'd see the day that I'd be able to say that I had a 3 way with Norbert and another man.

>He found my Norbert Beaver obsession to be very intriguing and wanted to know everything about it. I explained it entirely and he listened intently, but still he couldn't understand why I wouldn't let him be my Norbert. He wanted to be what Norbert was to me and I simply reminded him that I'm into fur and that the reason I was with him is because I needed something real to roll around with. He eventually understood. A few days later I decided I had enough of humans for one year and told him I didn't want to do anything again. He was most upset but I had to, even though he really liked me and accepted that I was into dogs and beavers I still gold him to take a hike.

>Norbert just sits there silently until I'm all done being mental.
A joke?

This guy seems less delusional and more disturbed than other cows. I'm not sure he takes the whole Norbert thing seriously, per se. Rather it just seems to be a fetish to keep him from raping dogs.

Seriously? How can you still think that Norbert is just a fetish. Clearly it's not. It's his LIFE. It's the dogs that are the fetish. This virgin has never known true love outside of Norbert Beaver.

He said on his blog he wrote it under an alias here.

http://johnofe.tumblr.com/post/4041126064/confession-time-the-ed-article

You should see him being interviewed in this video for some chicks university project.

http://johnofe.com/video/video.wmv

>>65901
ADF is. When he pulls that shit-eating grin I wish to gouge my eyes out with a spoon.

>I hope that the mods, when they realize the I wrote it, delete the fucking thing to show their butt-hurt. For once it will be ED who DELETES FUCKING EVERYTHING like a pussy school girl. You watch and see.

They obviously didn't. Way to save them loads of trouble.

>>65917
>Believe it or not, we do have our downs. It's always my fault though, and I always fix it. Norbert just sits there silently until I'm all done being mental.

lolwut

I wonder if the voice actor/ creator of this cartoon knows about this sick fuck

>>65901
To be honest I think Chris and ADF would look pretty good if it wasn't for them being so fat.

>>65977

And if ADF smiled with his mouth closed.

>>65980

or if his manliness wasn't trying to fit into chick clothes 3 sizes too small for him. or at all. seriously the pics of his normal self look decent.

>>65982

He has pics of his normal self?

Heh, Furries are pretty scary

The most scary thing about this guy is how sane he looks on the surface. In fact, if you skim his website, he almost looks commendable compared to most furries - he admits his desire to rape dogs, and actually underwent chemical castration in order to protect animals from him. He seems very lucid and admits that what he likes is sick. On one forum I was on where we started discussing him, he actually showed up and put out a site update to prove that he wasn't a troll. He was friendly and seemed fairly intelligent.

Then you see shit like his stories about killing the character he professes to love, his guro, his hangup on being a virgin (unlike Chris and ADF, being somewhat attractive has actually worked for him in the past - he has had (relatively) quite a bit of sexual contact with real men, but insists that he is still a virgin), his musings on bestiality and other furries and his blogs...

TL;DR dude seems relatively sane, read his site some more and it's obvious he's fucked up.


Now here are two separate videos of him having sex with a large stuffed toy:

http://johnofe.com/video/johnofe.mp4
http://johnofe.com/video/johnofe2.mp4

Also

HEY JOHN (or is it Dave?)!

How's it going man?


http://johnofe.tumblr.com/page/4

>>66003
I like guro and even I think he's fucked up.

Like it wouldn't be clear enough already.

>>66003
So whats the reason for him uploading pictures of himself having sex with stuffed animals?

I"m guessing he wasn't tricked/blackmailed into doing it like Chris was with his Sex Doll/PS3, is he just an attention whore/exabitionist or something?

>>65942
The saddest part is no one even cared enough to add to the article.

>>65790
Sonmanic, a.k.a. AKnotholeResident confuses me. On the outside, he looks like a normal guy. He looks a bit like Louis Theroux.

But underneath, he's an adult baby Sonicfag freak!

>>66046
I had a look at his profile I think the reason he looks normal is he isn't an american, I don't mean that to be offensive it's just that many americans tend to be more in your face about things and less in shape, especially when it comes to lolcows.

>>66073
the reason is most americans are on the web, and most europeans look like some hairy hambeast thing in regards to lolcows. In america, we have to breed crazy to look normal

>>66100

wut

that other norbert freak; rally.tumblr.com askes him to make the videos of him fucking his plushy so he's have better porn to fapp over. johnofe decided to share them with other people cos he's an attention whore.

even typical fucked up furries dont do that shit, WTF?

I'm going to rape your fucking dog. And I'll get away with it because I don't look like the kind of freak who fucks plushies and stalks the neighbors dog.

Rule number one: Don't get caught.

Without delving into this dude...

Is it possible he kills/hurts Brian Norbert so much in his fantasies because part of him so strongly rejects his lust for furry creatures?

>>66169
This actually makes sense. I don't know really understand guro though so it could be wrong but it sounds good to me

>>66171
"Know" shouldn't be in that sentence, sorry bout that.

I feel like someone's grandparent when I say this, but, what the HELL is wrong with this kid? He looks like a nice young man on the outside.. he's not beastly ugly like most of the lolcows on here.

I just don't get it.

i agree. he kills or mutilates the ones he loves because he is driven mad by them. he resents them for not being real. it's poetic really.

>>65977
Now Chris would probably look just fine for sure, esp. if he dressed well. (Some photoshopper drew some decent looking normal clothes on a pic of him and removed some of the fat with an airbrush - it was posted on here once.) But ADF? He'd have to not have shoved all those tranny pills up his ass to look even semi-normal.

>>66015 Totally a drama whore

>>66100
Don't confuse the Italians, Spanish, Portuguese, French and Greeks with all Europe. Germans and Nordics aren't exactly hairy in the way those groups are.

This shit is fucking horrifying.

The Lolcows are starting to look less like Chris copies and more like Slasher film villains.

I don't wanna play this game anymore, i just wanna go home.

I just don't get what leads people like this to be more obsessed with inanimate objects and fictional characters over real people. What comfort does a stuffed fucking beaver provide? How can you possibly love something that doesn't love you back- hell, something that can't even have feelings for you? Even Chris, in all his fuckery, still wants a REAL human being to be his heartsweet. I guess there's no point in asking, really. It's pretty much the reason we're all here.

>>66199
>How can you possibly love something that doesn't love you back- hell, something that can't even have feelings for you?

Well, for one, it can't reject him, either.
And it can never escape his den. NEVER.

I hate to say it, but this sick fuck also lacks the "look" of your typcial lolcow. one might say he's even quite attractive.
god i feel all dirty now.

http://rooshoes.tumblr.com/post/5125889527/johnofe-rooshoes-and-i-got-this-tiny-hat-at

>>66217

He's meh.

>>66217
The only 'attractive' quality about him based on that picture is, unlike many other lolcows, he's not a fat fuck. Face wise though he's extremely average.

would it be weird if i decided to adopt a dog, molest it for a few days before strangling it to death and sleeping with it afterwards, molester it's dead body all night and a few more times the next day before roughly butchering it with a large knife and rolling around with the bloody, cut up carcass masturbating and cumming on the remains before dumping it on the side or a rurual road far from where i live?

You think you know fucked up? You don't know SHIT! You have NO fucking idea what it's like to constantly want to fuck a dog but have no way to. The voices start off quite, but over time they're screaming so loud you can't hear anything else. All you hear is YOU NEED TO FUCK A DOG! YOU NEED TO KILL THAT DOG AND FUCK ITS DEAD BODY! don't get caught. give a fake address, use fake plates, adopt from another town. get a role of plastic sheet, rubbish bags, news paper, collar and leash. dog food. put the cat outside.

It's funny because you think you can see what I am and you think it's so fucked up there's no scale for it, you don't know me, if you did then you would understand just what FUCKED UP and WEIRD really meant.

>>66231
If you are who you claim why would you want to make it all so public?

Also go see a doctor, it's not normal to hear voices in your head telling you to do stuff.

>>66231
>>66231
GOD DAMMIT PEOPLE ANONYM YOUR FUCKING LINKS
THEN THEY DON'T FIND THIS PLACE.

>>66231
>It's funny because you think you can see what I am and you think it's so fucked up there's no scale for it, you don't know me, if you did then you would understand just what FUCKED UP and WEIRD really meant.
So you are offended because we don't think you're fucked up enough?

>>66217

That's not him, it's another furry plushophile. The link you gave is to someone else's tumblr.

>>66231
Is this a cry for help or are you really a huge attention whore?

JohnOfE I think that maybe a youtube video would be a good way of showing us how you really feel.

>>66231
Guys, remember when Chris-chan was posting a video every day? When everyone was freaking out about what it said about his psyche when he was trying to breastfeed a teddy bear? Before we knew it was Jackie's idea, of course.

I miss those days. In our search for a suitable replacement, what we've been shown over the past couple weeks has been so much worse. Timbox, PixyTeri and even ADF were largely met with cries that they weren't as fucked up as Chris. They were dried up, weren't as funny.

Then as if that was taken as a challenge, anon started grasping at the abyss, and what we've been getting has been so very much worse.

The thing is, they're showing up here now. First Nick Bate, then Faye Kane, then A-Log, and now this guy. It's like the board's infected with them.

>>66288
Thats one of the reasons that made Chris so special he is naive in the extreme and wouldn't browse here because of not liking the colour (In fact IIRC he liked a picture he saw here of him being an angel looking over CWCville (I have no idea what picture he was talking about)).

And even when the truth was obvious he would outright disbelieve it because it would otherwise mean he didn't have a real girlfriend or whatever.

>>66288
You might be right. The entire board is probably infected with these sick sick people. Chris was nothing compared to these freaks.

Chris was childishly pathetic, these guys are deviants.

Also, this JohnOfE guy looks like a typical fur-hound.

>>66297
>I have no idea what picture he was talking about
It was this.
I know right?

>>66302
Typical fur-hound who was chemically castrated by his therapist because of his extreme desire to fuck dogs. I think that alone makes him, uh... different. His coworkers and family all know about his dog-fucking desire too, and help "support" him by keeping him away from animals. Yeah.

>>66315
Thousands of trolling ideas are possible with this in mind. But I really don´t want to make an animal suffer.

So plan B:Let´s send a tranny to his house, kidnap his beaver fucktoy and yell "DAAAAAAAGGEEEEEEEET!"

>>66282

Get out of here Homefag.

>>66288

People complained that Timbox wasn't as screwed up as Chris? I don't think that's true.

>>66236
It's not really public to me. People who matter; people in my real world in NZ don't know johnofe. I don't care what any of you think, I am free do do as I like on the net and I enjoy riling you all up by exposing the real me, the part of me that no one IRL knows. I would be the perfect troll if it was all lies, but the sad thing is I am really this messed up. The good thing is that I know it, and I just roll with it.

>>66239
Making links to my site show me where you are, I monitor my webstats every day. But how can you not link to my site. Just deal with it. I'll find these boards no matter what. I'm sad enough to google myself every month.

>>66242
I'm not upset that you don't think I'm fucked up enough, it's not your fault. I'm just making a point that nothing is as it seems.

>>66422
You silly bugger, no one said that was me. Investigate!

>>66264
I though it was clear enough already that I am a major slut for you attention. I don't cry for help, I get it when I want to on my own from my doctor as I have done many times in the past.

>>66298
There are more furries around here then you think. That Anonymous name everyone has ensures that, you don't REALLY know how many of the posts here are mine, I didn't name ALL of them. I've been busy moving things along.

--
I don't care. I wish I could make you tube videos about this shit, I just can't face the camera, I lock up. I type much better, gives me more time to think about what I want to say.

BTW: don't be stupid by getting all upset that i found this place. you call yourself a troll but you dont want to be confronted by the subject of your thread? bullshit. you really dont want to hear me retort, you dont want drama, you dont want me to see all this shit that your talking about? think about it. perhaps i'm the better troll after all, bitch :-)

Why are all these faggots excited to get this attention? I just don't get it, it's pathetic. I guess I'm done with this thread, then. If he wants attention, he's not getting it from me.

>>66288

There are hundreds of thousands of people worse than Chris out there. The only reason there's a CWCfag community is half because asspie weentrolls felt compelled to 'sagatized' everything and half because, and this is the big part- it was picking on a mentally retarded man. Frankly, I'm surprised so many people are so caught off guard with "Wait, what's this, could it be... that this fellow here is... WORSE THAN CHRIS?!", when arguably the entire point of CWCfaggotry was not *what* he was doing, but that he kept doing it for so long.

tl;dr you're all a bunch of newfags if all these "worse than Chris!" people are genuinely a new thing for you.

/cwc/ is in the process of discovering how many people are as dumb as Chris, and how few as entertaining.

NO ONE compares to CWC, he was the ultimate in fucked up entertainment. I wouldn't even dream of trying to be anything like him because there can be only one CWC. Just know that. He was a retarded genius.

>>66421
Chris looks like a good, upstanding citizen compared to you. Kill yourself plz

>>66427
all in good time, sir.

No. Do it now.

>>66432

What evidence do we have that this JohnOfE on /cwc/ is not merely more trolls trolling trolls?

>>66428

>>66439
He referenced /cwc/ on his tumblr which shows up on his shitty website

http://johnofe.com/confirm.htm

>>66288

Anyone who's been alone for too long knows when the mind starts to wonder and pillows or cartoon even tv characters become more sexually attractive. While that is more of the mentality of a teenager, it would seem you just haven't grown up and those teenager tendencies have amplified. Let's be honest, who didn't practice kissing their pillow and tried to have 'disturbing thoughts' during that emo period most of us go through. If the rest of us hadn't grown up, we would probably all be making plushies/blow up dolls and drawing cartoon gore with the skills as if we were still in those teen years.

You look cuter with the five o'clock shadow, maybe mid length hair.

So does everyone else really not find norbert sexually attractive?

I now feel uncomfortable for having an old Norbert bean-stuffed doll next to me. Thanks.

>>66459
>who didn't practice kissing their pillow and tried to have 'disturbing thoughts' during that emo period most of us go through.
Me.

>>66474

Me neither.


>>66384

To stop people from pretending to be you, set up a tripcode. In the namebox where you wrote "JohnOfE" put a hash (#) followed by a password of your choice (make it something hard to guess, not "norbert" or something stupid). That is, make it say "JohnOfE#norbert" but for the love of god don't put norbert. That'll give you a unique name, like mine, and we can be certain of who's trolling and who's not.

>>66459
>who didn't practice kissing their pillow
No. What the fuck? Why the hell would anyone do that?

>If the rest of us hadn't grown up, we would probably all be making plushies/blow up dolls and drawing cartoon gore with the skills as if we were still in those teen years.
Don't try to justify your perversions by assuming everyone does it. Everyone does not do this, you are just as much of an outcast as JohnOfE

>>66459
I never did any of those things.

To be honest, I dont care what someone does in their bedroom as long as it stays in their bedroom. Once they decide to grandstand about it and make it everyone's business, they're kinda just asking for it- regardless of what it is they do specifically. I don't know about the rest of you, but a large part of what bothers me in these cases is the sheer self-importance required to think that anyone else cares about their bullshit.

That, and he's just a freak. But at least plushies can't reproduce, and he seems to be gay anyways, so he wont be passing on the pillow-fucker gene.

From what little I've read of this guy he seems pretty damn cognizant about his fucked up fetishes.

It's pretty hard to make a lolcow out of someone who's fully aware they're fucked up and agrees with you that they're fucked up.

I should have mentioned, and has at least a small fiber of creativity in their body lol

>>66459
I'm not sleeping with you anymore

>>66507
This. Or at least keep it to gurochan. And for the love of god, stay on the fucking furry board. For fuck's sake.

>>66542
I'm creative enough to draw.
I still have never and will never fuck a plushie, pillow, etc.

I don't see how creativity has anything to do with it. Unless you're imagining that your pillow is a hot dude/chick, which would be a little sad really.

I get what you're saying, or what you were trying to say- that sexual experimentation is normal. To some degree it is, but not everyone has the drive to fuck plushies or masturbate with their own shit. There is a point where it passes normality and becomes a fetish, and not all fetishes are socially acceptable, particularly the ones that cause harm to other people/creatures. Not all fetishes are going to make sense to everyone either.

>>66549
If we can do more to convince him what he does is wrong, or make him feel some sort of guilt about it maybe- he might try to fight back and defend his interests more, or he might not care. He seems mostly competent other than the fetishes, so he's less likely to sperg out than Chris- the usual "say something and wait for tardrage" tactics wont work.

With his weird detachment from other people though, and his seeming inability to empathize, strong interest in guro etc... he almost seems like a sociopath. Might be something worth exploring/attacking.

>>66548

Fucking his plushie is an extreme. Yeah. His 'creativity' is imagining he's having sex with the 'real' norbert when there aren't even any holes. ):

>>66544

But you're my fuck plushie ;___;

>>66555
no

And also I thought he put fuck holes into his plushie?

>>66556

DID HE???

>>66561

I've seen Iconoclast post in the shit board of GuroChan. Coincidence? I think not.

What if there's an Inner Circle...of the lolcows?

And before anyone asks, no, I don't go to scat board, even I have limits. I just googled Gurochan+Iconoclast one day. A bad decision.

>>66564
And that inner-circle is /cwc/, apparently.

And for some reason, I don't have a problem with this.

>>66582
And Nick likes shit as well.

Nick and Iconoclast both like shit. They're all connected...

Your missing the point. I KNOW it's WRONG and unusual what I do. I take pleasure in the fact that it upsets so any people. This board of disapproval makes excites me, in fact, I just had sex with Norbert and just thinking about all you people reading about the horrible stuff that I enjoy doing, made it that much more enjoyable.

I don't take the internet seriously. There's nothing you can say that will generate any sort of drama, you can try but I'm just sayin'. The only entertainment that I can provide you is the simply, blatant admission to the sick things I do.

The original purpose behind posting all my personal life for everyone to see was to find others who are like me, I have succeeded. Over time I have realized the fun that it also brings on places like this. I didn't mean for it to be so funny but all the attention that came was irresistible.

There's a reason why people who REALLY get to know me change their view on me and even go as far as to agree with me on my sick matters. How else do you think I was able to hold down a job in sales where even my boss knew what I was, as well as most of my co workers and some of the customers. They knew me, the knew who I was and no matter how sick my sexual fetishes were, it didn't matter because that's how good I am as a person.

But like I said, your not real people in my life, your anon and I would love nothing more then for you to praise me, hate me, talk about me or even just ignore me. Do as you want because I don't mind.

>>6557 Didn't you read the ED page?

In all honestly, the only way any of you would ever get to me, even if it's not much, is to pretend I don't exist. I know it's true and you wish you could, but you lot LOVE talkin shit about other people, and even though you KNOW that I love seeing people talk shit about me, you'll do it anyway to serve your own needs while serving mine.

What are you gong to do?
Other then hunt me down and murder me?

>>66593

Cool story bro.

>>66593
Meh. We just like to follow lolcows and the shit they do. It's not like you're a Messiah or anything. You're like a TV comedy that comes every evening, with a dash of The Truman Show. Other people watch funny YouTube videos, other read about autistic retards making themselves look like morons.

>>66593
you're like Chris Chan lite. No not even, you're barely even on the lolcow radar. No offense, but until you take all this Norbert fascination and join up with WBC and write rants on how much you hate black and homosexuals (while balls deep in your sextoy) or something I can't really get into it. You're just not that weird, really.

Can you put on this red/blue striped shirt and tell me about your latest artwork with a bit on staying straight and antisemitism? Please?

>>66599
It's about god damn time someone grew the fuck up.
Thank you.

>>66593
Ah, the one weakness of the lolcow troll: the self-aware lolcow.

>>66600

So you give big fucking tl;dr textwalls on how much you love the attention, then you thank someone for saying you're not worth paying attention to? At least be consistent with your ingenious plan to put us off.

So he's a masochist and he knows that he's fucked in the head.

There really isn't much point trolling him if he'll just get off on it, unless the hope is that he's lying (entirely possible), but if there's continual harassment even a psychopathic plushie fucker like him might get stressed out.

Still, whether its worth the effort for whatever minimal payout there might be...

>>66600

You know, that sounded a little mad.

I don't think you're nearly as immovable as you say you are. In fact, I thinking you're a sad little man that thinks his awareness of how society views his fetishes excuses them. You give us a lot of spiel, saying that your co-workers and boss all know the extent of your depravity. Bullshit. They don't know you've written pages about raping a beaver and using his corpse to make a sex doll. How many dinner parties have these people invited you to? Not many, I'd bet.

Rationalizing and throwing around the word 'love' doesn't make you a good person with a few odd fetishes. Identifying yourself as trash doesn't give you any clemency.

oh, and fuck you, kill yourself, yadda yadda yadda. 'not a bad guy' my ass

>>66593
>your

You're. Use it bro.

I... actually feel bad for him. He's not a lolcow, he's just a lost, innocent boy.

I want to fuck him hard, in his ass, make him moan, and then cuddle him for hours, telling him how much i love him, and that i would never leave him.

The worst part is that I'm not trolling, not at all. I legitimately feel bad for this guy and really wish i was involved in his life.

>>66626
While I guess I can see some of what you're saying, Chris is much more of a lost, innocent boy than this guy is.

>>66622
Of course they know. They refuse to read it because I told them what it was about. Of course none of them agree with what I stand for, but they roll with it.

I have no friends, I avoid social situations at all costs so even if I were invited (which I have have been) I would say no. I attend the end of year work do and that's about it.

It is true though, my life it totally empty without the beavers. What do I have to talk about in a social environment if I can't mention beavers? I got nothing. My whole life revolves around my sexual dysfunction. It defines me.

So your right, they see me as a freak and pretend like everything's ok and just be nice to me because they feel sorry for me.

I'm not confused I'm just unable to do any more then what I do. This is my coping mechanism. You want to see me fall apart? You wont see it on the net but if you come to my house you'll see it every night when I try to get to sleep; you see the train wreck, the self loathing, depression and pathetic crying. I do hate myself but at the same time am so self absorbed that I cannot bare to leave. So I make do. This is me making do.

There's another one of these Norbert freaks. Him & JohnOfE have both uploaded their plushie vids
to the same account.
http://www.xtube.com/watch.php?v=NoQBo-C553-&cont=y
It's his profile info that puts me off.

WFT!? How many of these people are there?

>>66626

Stop trying to give anons boners.

Or you could actually man the fuck up, get some psychiatric help and make something of your life. You know you're messed up, that's already further than a lot of the crazies out there have gotten. So now that you know, what exactly is stopping you from changing? There are tools out there for you to use. If you've realized how messed up you are, you can do something to change it. The current path you're on will just end with a gun in your mouth and your dick in a beaver.

>>66640
You really are an idiot. Read your post from the perspective of anyone but yourself. You ARE breaking down. Nobody loves you, nobody that's real anyways- and even if "the beavers" were real I'm sure they'd want nothing to do with you as well. Have you ever even thought of that? If Norbert is so real to you, why force him to spend time with someone who is such a colossal failure at life? Someone who can't even properly interact with people? Someone who refuses to even get help?

The truth is Norbert isn't real, you don't love him, if you did you wouldn't be using him as a coping mechanism for your own personal gains. If you really cared about being a functioning human being you'd go to a psychologist and get help for your issues rather than stuffing your dick into a lifeless plushie every night and crying about how the only thing that loves you is something you weren't even creative enough to make up on your own.

>>66643
>>that video
Jesus Christ and I thought I was pathetic.

>>66626

He's not that attractive and he's super creepy, why do you want to fuck his brains out?

>>66654
Last year I went to a therapist/doctor for help. There's plenty of information on the whole thing out there ready for you to find. I bloody well did try.

I tried again this year but was faced with having to pay $150 per hour. How many hours do you think it would take to really put a dent in my problem? A fuck load more then 10 I'll say. I don't have that kind of money! There is no HELP for me, the fucking doctors haven't even heard of attractions to cartoons! Holy shit.

I tried, I could try harder but it's much easier just dealing with it on my own.

I'm not cracking up, I'm quite aware of how I sounded in that last post. This is how I've been for years, always on the verge.

>>66655
If you read Beaver Soup you'll see how wrong you are. I'm VERY aware of what a hypothetically real Norbert would be like towards me. The whole story is based on the very fact that he would be disgusted by me. But he's not real, so who gives a fuck. I'll screw him all I like and fantasize about cutting him up all I like because he's not real. You can't hurt cartoon characters.

I agree. My current path will result in a gun in my mouth and my dick in a plushy beaver. I know. The actual way it'll happen is the same way it did in Beaver Soup. I would do it now but I can't. I still have to serve other peoples needs back at home, if not for them I would have gone long ago.

>>66667

It's surreal to see someone acknowledge their creepiness to this extent.

>>66667
Oh stop whining, you drama queen

>>66667
>I'll screw him all I like and fantasize about cutting him up all I like because he's not real. You can't hurt cartoon characters.

That's debatable. Have you ever watched Who Framed Roger Rabbit?

Also, have you ever considered making a fuckable Sonichu plushie? Just something to think about.

>>66654
>The current path you're on will just end with a gun in your mouth and your dick in a beaver.

>>66667
I'm not going to read your shitty fanfiction, but you can't say "Norbert is real to me" speak of him as if he is real, say you love him, etc, then in the next breath say "well he is fake so abusing him is alright".

What you have isn't love, and you're lying to yourself and others saying it is. Love usually means you give enough of a shit about the other person to share some care and concern for them, yet you acknowledge that, were Norbert real, he would hate you.

Why lie about it? Why present yourself as normal? You aren't normal. You've said it yourself. But you act innocent, and say you love these characters- the truth is you're sick in the head, and you need a hole to fuck. You wouldn't know love if it smacked you in the face.

And about therapy? Cry fucking moar, the rest of the responsible adults with issues manage to pony up for it, I did, and I guaran-fucking-tee there are free counseling resources in your area because there ALWAYS are, you can check around at local colleges, community centers or even churches for these resources. They exist in any community large enough to have a wal-mart within 50 miles, which is pretty much all of the US except Alaska and most of the rest of the world. Plus, going rate for therapy is usually closer to $80/hr not $150, don't go to the expensive ones that prescribe drugs until you KNOW whats wrong with you, getting zoloft thrown at you wont solve your issues and thats what they usually try to do.

>>66667
By the way- You aren't "dealing with it" if you acknowledge that your current path will end in suicide.

You obviously have something wrong with you- people don't become attracted to cartoons/inanimate objects/nonhuman things in general without there being something wrong. I'm sure if you attacked it from the beastiality angle at first, with the counselors, you'd have more luck. Work from that point inward to the cartoon attractions.

>>66689
There are no free institutions that are remotely able to help with this kind of sexual dysfunction. I have looked, I have visited, I have spoken with MANY doctors and psychiatrists, help for EXCLUSIVE ANIMAL SEXUAL ATTRACTION doesn't come cheap, if it does it probably wont help.

What if I don't want to change?

I look outside my pathetic existence and see what "normal" is. Normal for me would be depressing, MORE depressing then what I already have.

I am thankful for this fucked up sexual attraction I have for Norbert because at least I can convince myself that I'm happy to the extent that I believe it, if only for a few hours anyway. I would rather be pretend happy some of the time then real depressed all of the time. In the moment it's nice to be with Norbert, when I'm so focused on him that nothing gets in and all I see is him, he makes me feel special, he makes me feel wanted. HE doesn't judge me and I know for damn sure that he's not going to leave me. I have full security in my relationship at the cost of being totally alone and incapable of having any chance at a real relationship.

Do you not realize that it's not a choice I can make as easily as you say? My fetish for animals and cartoons isn't just some THING that distracts me from humans, it's like humans aren't even part of the equation! I am repulsed by humans both male and female. Yes I've done some dirty things with men but only because I was THAT desperate for living flesh over stuffing. I was desperate enough to let some GROSS 50 year old fuck me up the ass. THAT DESPERATE for living sex.

I can't help who I am, I have been this way since before I can remember, it's the only way I can be.

We are all here because I choose to host graphic information about myself on my website and various channels where people CHOOSE to watch me. Out of my desire to find a connection with another living human being I have come into your lives. All I want is someone to love me the way I love Norbert. Perhaps then I'll forget about the fucking beaver and move onto a health human relationship based on a fucked up fetish.

In the middle of all that, I have spawned the sick fuck you know as johnofe by simply being myself. I can't keep who I am a secret because how else am I going to find someone who fits in my world? You must see why I can't just keep it a secret?

I have no friends, no one in the real world notices me. The only feedback I get on my life, the REAL ME is though the internet. When I became the center of attention long ago on some random board, it gave me such a rush. This feeling of satisfaction is what you lot call being an attention whore. I agree.

I wish there was a way I could just fade into the background, be strait and lead a normal life like my co workers. Not be such a no body and not lie in bed each night imagining throwing myself off a building. I'm sick of backing myself into a corner.

there are only two possible ways johnofe will cease to exist: I get a human companion who gets me, or i die. we both know which one is more likely. so until then, harden the fuck up or ignore me at all costs.

>>66690
Surprisingly, that was my plan. The doc disagreed with me. He said "Norbert has fur and he is animal based, there for he must go."

I'm not ready to give up Norbert. Not without something to fall back on. There is nothing.

Call some suicide line or something and tell you're going to kill yourself. They give surprisingly easily free ticket to a mental hospital with free counseling. Seeing that you've already tried all sorts of stuff, that shouldn't be too hard.

>>66692 etc

You know, as "lolcows" go, I actually kind of gave props to you. When I came across you before (yo from WGW, btw) you actually seemed very self-aware and accepting, for a furry - in my skimming of your website, you seemed like you were trying to get on top of your sexual preferences while also living as normal a life as possible. You had a job, you lived alone, you were getting therapy and everything.

But now... Well, I did hear that you lost your job and had to move back in with your mum, how did that come about? But... all of this stuff, it's just pathetic. Stop crying about your life to a message board full of people who don't care. Stop whining. Man, I almost respected you.

TL;DR: Shut up and sort yourself out, it's embarrassing.

>>66719
Gee, i bet he sure feels bad that an anon ALMOST respected him.

>>66691
You say you want someone to love you like you love Norbert, but you bragged about turning away someone who "wanted to be your Norbert". GG Genius.

The bottom line is you don't know what normal would be like for you because you've never personally experienced it. Wouldn't it be nice to have actual healthy relationships with people and have no dirty secrets to hide? Or to not NEED animals/Norbert etc to fall back on? To wholly emotionally support YOURSELF?

People are giving you props for being self aware. I guess that's somewhat deserved- at least you admit you're fucked up. But only when you're pushed about it. The fact that you have no interest in being a healthy, functioning human being just negates your awareness anyways. You might say there is nobody free who could help- but you know what, you don't NEED a specialist to help because these issues might stem from ANOTHER issue. What you need is someone in general who will push, and probe, and ask questions... trying to find out the source of your issues. You don't just randomly want to fuck dogs and beavers.

If you really wanted help you would take what you could get rather than bitching and moaning about everything. You're making excuses, and nothing more. It's honestly sad that you'd choose to let yourself live alone and broken rather than truly try to get help, and I KNOW its not just a switch you turn off- I was never attracted to animals but I was abused as a kid, I had other issues related to sex and my behavior in general.

I know what it means when you take one look at the resources available and say "well, that wont work", that means you are making excuses because it is easier to continue your current path rather than fixing it. You might be aware of your issues, but for all your talk you don't truly care about changing or being a functional person.

>>66643
Oh thanks a lot! You know I REALLY wish I hadn't seen that video. As if it's not bad enough uploading plushie porn of oneself, why the does he have to show his dick thrusting through the legs of that rabbit, almost straight into the camera? I cannot unsee that.

On is profile he admits a fantasy of being castrated with a blade (as a beaver). I reckon someone should fulfill his fantasy so that the world will be slightly safer from his genes.

No wonder him & johnofe are friends. What do they say? Flies attract shit (Or is it shit attracts flies?)

>>66844
tl;dr version: Acknowledging a problem is not fixing it.

I'm confused by your inconsistencies.

You say that you want nothing to do with real people and are repulsed by them, yet you talk about finding love with a person, the desire for real flesh, and about getting a rush from real people talking about you? Something tells me you don't have anything genuinely wrong with you and you are just creating problems (intentionally or unconsciously) to make yourself feel special and as an excuse to yourself and to the rest of the world for being a socially awkward recluse with no friends. Chris blames it on the troll collective, you blame it on an imaginary disorder that you could probably cure by just sorting things out in your own head. It is amazing what a person can force himself to believe as part of a coping mechanism.

What ever, I'm bored.
I have a disturbing novel to rewrite.

I'm sure we will meet again another day. If you really feel strongly about arguing with me, you know where to find me. BTW: man up and use a real email address, non an anon one.

Be well.

>>66972

To translate:

>WELP I BETTER GO BACK INSIDE MY COCOON OF CRUSHING SADNESS AND HOMEMADE SEX DOLLS, SHIT GOT TOO REAL.

god, you are a transparent guy.

>>66972

Hey John of E, I sent you my real email address on Tumblr. You wanna go?

It's interesting how many cows have been showing up here to have their ears talked off but they all end up running away which is a bit boring.

I have seen a lot of lolcows

I watched the clip of him with his Norbert plushie, & read through most of his writings. And I think this guy is really different. Actually a very special person. I'll confess that I was turned on very much by watching him have sex with his plushie. I have fapped to it several times now. And I've been touched by the passion with which he speaks of his views. You don't get a lot of people who stick by their beliefs, or preferences, as much as this guy does.

If this guy lived near me, I'd want to meet him, and I'd love to get intimate with him, even both of us making love to his plushie at the same time. Or anything else that he'd enjoy.

Johnofe's very attractive and I & could probably fall in love with him if I ever met him. This guy is far above any other lolcows

>>67017

gee i'm sure you're not trolling at all, allow me to be angry and disgusted.

oh, wait

>>67017
Or you could see a psychiatrist.

>>67017
>You don't get a lot of people who stick by their beliefs, or preferences, as much as this guy does.

Nick Bate.

>>67048
And Chris.

>>67067

lolwut, Chris changes his mind about absolutely fucking everything on a regular basis.

>>67084
Like? It has been proved over and over and over again that it's impossible to convince Chris to change his habits.

>>67018
I'm not trolling,

I posted 67017.

I've been following this thread with much interest, & wouldn't have posted, until I was kindof pissed off that someone had posted a link to my xtube plushie video (post number 66643, where both mine & JohnOfE's pushie vids are posted) & subsequently expressed horror at it. Someone even looked on my profile & mentioned my castration fetish, which is deeply personal.

No, I'm not trolling when I say that about JohnOfE. I say what I believe. The things he has written are, in my opinion, very insightful. Beaversoup might be disturbing, but it draws on the most primal instinct of a person: Get what you need, or fight for it. I will confess that I've had similar violent fantasies about Norbert, sometimes involving castration, but the basic mechanism is the same: If you're drowning & deprived of air, your body will do whatever it has to to get that air, even if it means clambering over someone else & hurting them in the process.
This doesn't mean I condone killing. It's simply a natural consequence.
Sure, we both have our problems because of this Norbert thing, but it's a case of being in love. If one is desperately in love with someone and for some reason can't have them, it's natural to experience a few adverse side effects.

I'll admit that it's done me quite a bit of harm. I just had a relationship end because of it (as brief as it was). I started going out with a nurse from work. She'd sleep over at my place, and when it came to sex, I found that I was unable to complete the deed. Reason being, that I wanted her to be Norbert, or some animal that I love. It helped to involve one of my plushies, that turned me on, and I even suggested that she dress up with rabbit ears & tail, but she refused.
I took her out to dinner several evenings ago where she told me that she couldn't handle it anymore. All the animal stuff was getting too much for her. And it was over. It's probably just as well because I don't think I'm capable of maintaining a relationship with a girl.

Yet I still want to stay with Norbert. I feel overwhelming love for him. It's a deeply intimate relationship where you're face to face with simply the most beautiful thing you can ever imagine. And yet you just can't have him. You cannot choose what you love. It just happens.

It's not that abnormal.

>>67158

Dude, it's a fucking cartoon.

As for girls, just find yourself some furry cunt, those idiots love this retarded shit maybe just a teensy bit less than you do, but more than enough to put up with your bullshit.

>>67158
>it's not that abnormal

>>65709

Also,
>I'm not trolling because I tell you so

>>67158
>castration fetish, which is deeply personal.
>deeply personal
>post it everywhere on the internet

>>67158
If you're using someone/something for your own selfish desires, you don't love it. Norbert isn't real and thus isn't capable of consent, but if he were real he would undoubtedly think you and JohnofE are losers. By insisting that you love him, even if you aren't real, and having sex with something shaped like him in effigy, all you are is a very, very creepy stalker.

I mean, were Norbert real, and a person, that's what it'd be- a hardcore case of stalking. Besides that, as a character Norbert is really pretty shallow. I watched the beavers cartoon when I was younger, and it was funny, but the characters weren't exactly revolutionary and the plot was the same every time:
Dagget does something stupid
Norbert makes fun of Dagget
The problem gets fixed or doesn't
Norbert makes fun of Dagget some more


Lets face it, the guy's a dick. Theres nothing about these characters that was gentle or loving, since they pretty much spent 50% of the time slapping the shit out of each other.

You two just have an unhealthy obsession, probably caused by some sexual abuse in your past or overall sexual dysfunction, and you both refuse to admit to yourselves that what you have is NOT love, and that you need to get help no matter how hard it is.

Unrequited love ISNT love, because if you really love someone you will realize they don't want you around or that you are harmful to them and leave them be. I'm pretty sure that, in the case of someone being unable to give consent to a relationship due to not existing, that counts as being harmful or at least being a gigantic selfish prick who knows nothing of love whatsoever.

>>66972
Because I would really trust someone who posts beaver porn on the internet with my real email address. Right.

>>67016
I think the reason is these people are either too retarded to be trolled (nick bate) or not quite retarded enough, just dysfunctional overall (johnofe), or burnt out (timbot).

JohnofE CAN be trolled, since if he loved attention as much as he says he does he would've stayed- obviously he doesn't like having to face his issues. The only problem is he'll be suspect of everything now that he knows he's a target, and he's not autistic as fuck so he'll see through most "dig up patti" grade plans.

>>67210
The fuck do you think is going to happen if you give someone your "real" e-mail address?
You're either really old or really young. If not, you're incredibly naive and unbelievably moronic.

>>67158
How is it that Norbert is in love with both you and JohnOfE? Real or not, at the end of the day there is only one Norbert. Does it bother you he regularly takes it in the ass from you, JohnofE, and who knows however many other delusional toonophiles out there (OK, so there probably aren't too many others, but still)? Or is monogamy not a concern for you?

>>67231
I must say that that's a very interesting point and I've thought about that before. Basically no, monogamy is not an issue for me. It actually gives me comfort to know that Norbert gets screwed on a regular basis. I'd be doing it myself with a plushie Norbert, but all the ones for sale online are nowhere near as real as I need them to be & I don't have the sewing skills to make my own one. I do use a rabbit plushie which I love. But when the lights are out it's easy to imagine him as Norbert. It still feels like fur. So, in a sense, Norbert gets it in the ass from me aswell.

The only complication of course, would be if Norbert was actually real & up for grabs. In that scenario I'd simply say "may the best man win," & if I'd do everything I could to get him. If I failed, knowing that Norbert's somewhere out there, then I'd be so crushed that I don't know if I'd be able to go on, there'd be no reason to live.
Flipside is, if I did somehow get the real Norbert, I'd gladly share him with JohnOfE.

>>67209
I actually agree with a lot of your points. That does make me a creepy stalker, Norbert would think we're losers, and I am selfish, but it could then be said that eating when you're hungry is a selfish act.

Yes, Norbert can be a real dick, but something with him just touches me. He has a much softer side which he hides behind his attitude. Deep down he's very vulnerable & sensitive. It's that which makes me want him even more.

It does class as sexual dysfunction, and it's hard to say where it came from. I do remember as a child having a Buster Bunny plushie which my mom gave me, and I used to hump him, then hold him close in the dark & talk to him intimately about anything, sometimes nothing. So it does come from childhood. How it came about in the first place, I don't know.
And yes, I've been to a doctor because the despair of not having Norbert often causes me to have terrible nightmares where I'm trying to reach him, but for some reason I just can't. Sometimes insomnia. But sleeping tablets & using my plushie helps a great deal

I would say that it is love. But love is so subjective. If there are criteria laid out in the DSMIV that define love, I'm sure I would meet them. Often, when I walk past a park, I look and imagine hard enough that I can almost see Norbert walking in the distance, through the gaps of the trees. You can't tell me that that's not characteristic of love.

>>66656
Pathetic how? For making love to my plushie? It's just sex, although admittedly the "partner" might not be the norm.

>>67173
Well noted sir.

Yes, that info is on my profile, but what I was more driving at is that I didn't think it would somehow get mentioned on a site like this. But, you know what, I don't think I care anymore.

http://www.xtube.com/community/profile.php?u=Gratten

Now you can read all about my castration fetish - I guess it is no longer personal (as much as it is kindof embarrassing)

Why not go to the next level?

You surely have heard of people that "enhance" their bodies through tatoos, piercings and operation to look like that animal with whom they identify the most (pic related, although I can´t truly say if these people also are furries)

You could be closer to Norbert if you let yourself grow some facial hair and implant long bucked teeth.

>>67259
I really didn't care about to read it in the first place. I wonder what it is with all fetishist. I've witnessed same behaviour again and again. "LOOK AT ME I HAVE A FETISH AM I COOL N DIFFERENT NOW?"

I mean, John's every, especially his last post is exacly that. "Well, gun' write sum fetish porn now, geddit, geddit, huh, huh?"

god i wish i looked like norbert so i could let johnofe fuck me up the ass and make beaver soup out of me. i love buck teeth, rodents are so cute :-)

hmmm i think chris trumps all cows

>>67257
I don't think that's a characteristic of love, no. Loving someone is caring about them, and as I pointed out, if you're forcing your love on someone or something that cannot or does not consent, it's not really love.

I don't see how you two can't comprehend this but if you really love someone you wont hurt them and use them. You admit Norbert would hate you and that you're selfish in your actions, but don't see your actions as harmful to him were he to exist. Or rather, because he doesn't exist, you justify your harm to him. How is that right if he's real enough for you to love him?

And eating when you're hungry is a totally different thing. That is satisfying a physical need and, normally, it does not harm anyone in the process. There is no physical need in humans to fuck beaver plushies. There may be some need for sex but it's supposed to be sex with, you know... other people. Plus if you are just using Norbert to fill your void of not having sex, then that plays back into the fact that you don't love him because you're using him.

>>67259
I didn't say "post more about it so I can read all the gory details about how you want your dick cut off by a cartoon beaver." No one wants to read that shit.

Can I just say that this thread is hilarious? Forget trolling, we need to start inviting our lolcows over here to have more ethical debates. Seeing lolcows and anons arguing over what it truly means to love someone is funnier than anything I've seen in any of the other lolcow threads.

lol

>>65764

Oh lord, I don't like psycho furries any more than any one else, but quit trying so hard.

>>67275
Yes indeed, you are correct. I was completely whoring myself there. I don't deny it. I get off on it. I know you wouldn't be interested in it, and you don't have to be. It's not an attention thing, it's not trying to say, "look, I'm different."
It's just the knowledge that someone knows OF it that makes me aroused. Your reaction is exactly what I wanted

>>67304
Regarding Norbert:

It's time that I stuffed off, any further discussion will probably result in repetition & I don't belong here anyway.

I must say that you, sir, put forward your arguments very well. However, I find that I must disagree.

True, normally loving someone involves a consenting & sentient person, but I believe that that's irrelevant because the mechanism of love is the emotion. It's quite possible to love someone that's not there. And Norbert does exist, even if more as an entity, than as a person.

I don't claim to morally justify harming Norbert. The harm would just be a possible (in fact likely) consequence of what would happen when two extreme conflicts of interests clash, like JohnOfE wrote in his story. It's what any of us would do, if placed in a situation with equivalent factors.

It's the other way around: Norbert doesn't simply fill my void of not having sex, he is the one that I want to have sex with. It's not just using him. I prefer him to humans.
I maintain that it is indeed love, deep love.

If you could (all) be more open-minded, you'd realise what a good thing you are missing out on. I've had the experience of intimacy with humans of both genders, as well as obviously Norbert & certain other cartoon animals.

Unless you've had the experience of all three, I believe you are less qualified to judge this type of situation.

Signing off,
Regards

>>67416

You're not having sex, you're masturbating in a stuffed animal.

>>67416

>I've had the experience of intimacy with humans of both genders, as well as obviously Norbert & certain other cartoon animals.

>Unless you've had the experience of all three, I believe you are less qualified to judge this type of situation

You have not had experience of all three, you've not had intimacy with Norbert or "certain other cartoon animals" because they aren't real, at best you've been intimate with a make believe person in your own head (basically we're talking about yourself here), at worst you stuck your dick in a inanimate object.

I could fuck a lamp, that does not mean I have had an intimate experience with said lamp. I could ascribe a personality to the lamp before I fuck it, once again that does not mean I have had an intimate experience with said lamp. You don't know what love is, and no amount of rationalising is going to make this into anything other than a sickness in your head.

Gentlemen. I have found the thread that connects every cow, the underlying theme of the board:

>No lolcow posted on /cwc/ will ever understand what love really is

>>67416
>Unless you've had the experience of all three, I believe you are less qualified to judge this type of situation.
Nick molests children and I still feel more than qualified to judge him.

>>67416
I'm sure that my life will be shitty and unfulfilled forever because I wont have sex with cartoon beavers.

Nevermind the fact that I'm a chick and it'd be the equivalent of humping a pillow.

I was annoyed because I thought you guys were just being lazy and denying yourselves the opportunity to be normal, but now I realize that maybe you aren't capable of it even if you were to try. You obviously have trouble distinguishing your fantasy-based delusions from reality.

Please seclude yourself from society forever so that nobody else gets the idea that being a plushie fucking loser is a good idea.

It's a live lolcow performance!

>>67416
>It's what any of us would do, if placed in a situation with equivalent factors.

Equivalent factors? What? What sort of 'extreme conflicts of interest' would the average person have that would cause them to want to savagely mutilate and kill their lover?

Also, on a semi-related note, do you and Norbert engage in dirty talk wherein Norbert, a beaver, makes plays on 'wood' (use you imagination)? And JohnOfE, feel free to answer this one too if you're still around.

>>67524
No, I talk to Norbert as if he were a normal person. I don't treat him like a character from the angry beavers.

I didn't realize i was so werid for wanting to kill norbert until i saw how no ones else did that to their lovers. it feels natural to me, i wouldn't have known if someone hadn't pointed it out to me. i dont know why i want to, it just makes me feel better when i think about cutting him up and shit. only on occasion though, not often. i prefer to stroke and caress him and treat him well; make him feel like a king.

resentment i guess.

>>67542

She was so beautiful.

I had to kill her.

>>67542
>No, I talk to Norbert as if he were a normal person. I don't treat him like a character from the angry beavers.

Right, but you still see him a (plush) beaver. I never watched the show, so I have no idea what the character is like. Anyway, I don't see how beaver and wood-related innuendo is out of the question.

>I didn't realize i was so werid for wanting to kill norbert until i saw how no ones else did that to their lovers. it feels natural to me, i wouldn't have known if someone hadn't pointed it out to me.

How could you not have been aware of this? Like, I know the media tends to glorify violence and deviance, but nothing like butchering your lover. How old were you when you were struck by the realization that people (even the most perverted and/or insane) do not ordinarily kill their partner post-coitus?

>>67558
Oh I don't know; two or three years into our relationship that I realized killing him might be frowned upon.

Look, I know killings wrong, duh! But as a child I have been known to torture small animals on occasion. cute things like mice. norbert is cute and i have the same desire mess him up as i did with my mice. even though when i do it makes me sad and satisfied at the same time.

it disturbs me when i think about it.

i think torturing small animals as a child is one of those precursors to becoming a murderer. i think i'd enjoy stabbing someone to death. it'd enjoy stabbing norbert more and hearing him cry out in pain and desperation.

it's an interesting feeling. nothing i'm ever going to act upon though. i have a drive for sex, not blood.

>>67575
You've tortured animals? What the fuck did you do to them?

>>67575
>>67577
Do you think this kind of talk is supposed to reinforce the fucked up image you've created for yourself here and on your site?
We know you enjoy being as fucked up as you are. We definitely know you get a kick out of us knowing. What we don't give a shit about is you trying to tap the 14 year old within you that thinks it betrays some kind of psychological giftedness to torture small animals.

You actually have a niche on this board. You're the guy who above everything else wants to fuck Norbert from the Angry Beavers. Don't spoil it with this nonsense.

>>67585
LOL, well said.

>>67577

You sound like an angsty teenager, get over yourself.

With frightening aggression, John grabbed Norbert by the back of his head; lifting his face up and began to deliver punch after punch with a furious lack of restraint that would make even the worst violent offender flinch. Like a sledge hammer, his fist smashed the bone and cartilage in Norbert face, splitting his skin and pulverising his flesh. Blood began to blot in the fur and splatter with each blow.

oh yeah, he wanted to have sex with norbert too cos that's johnofe's thing.

>>67602
Some critique: That piece is completely missing the victim's reactions which are essential to torture porn.

>>67604
Wow, he's too selfish even to write snuff fics.

Here's another tip. I've seen you repeat certain writing patterns, eg. "said Xly". The words alone should describe how something is said to the reader, and just "said" should do.

I get that "Ikea erotica" sort of feeling from your stories. I mean, of course I won't fap to furry, but from an objective point of view, they're boring.

For example, the first sex scene in "beavermix.pdf" describes the whole act with about two sentences, and the rest is just, well, monologue inside Dagget's mind. Another thing that I've seen repeating in your stories. Nothing bad in it itself, if it's your writing style, but you should try to find balance between writing and monologue. Emotion without sex doesn't work, as doesn't sex without emotion.

>>67621
/cwc/ -- Well thought out criticism in the face of furry torture fapfics.

>Emotion without sex doesn't work, as doesn't sex without emotion.
They probably don't write emotion because they don't have it. They seem to only have basic instincts (i.e. to fuck, to kill) and nothing more.

>>67625
>They probably don't write emotion because they don't have it.
Not what I meant really. A clinical objective description of the act doesn't work and neither does syrupy drooling with My Immortal "He put it in my you know what sexily" sex.

I have read tens of megabytes of torture porn, and there have been some real gems, written by nearly professional authors. But I admit, I have read all too many ansty teen naturo shit and terrible fapfics of cartoons written by drooling manchildren like Iconoclast and...i dunno...JohnOfE.

>>65749
Its probably his sociopathic fetish duh

they've seen this thread and now they're pissed

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/43301853/ns/technology_and_science-science/t/bizarre-rabid-beaver-attacks-philly-park/

>>67637
JohOfE intrigues me. People with desires to inflict pain or even death upon someone usually channel their desires on something imaginary, eg. their "waifus" because people rarely really want to hurt anyone, and real heavy violence isn't hot or pretty. It's just messy. And the other reason is that they are aware that such dreams aren't socially acceptable and they wouldn't really hurt anyone. But in their own minds they can play act out their dreams without anyone really getting hurt, and being able to bypass the restrictions of reality.

A person who faps to sawing off Cirno's legs may be eccentric, but can still be a functional part of the society and would never ever really hurt anyone.

But JohnOfE...he isn't really in practical level so different from any other gurofag...well, excluding animal/plushie fucking. But thanks to his autism or other mental block, he only lately realized that torturing living beings isn't acceptable or right. Still, he seems to be able to view himself and his situation from an objective point of view, or at least to the degree he is aware enough of his (more or less) self-imposed social exile.

But what if he would be sexuall attracted to people, would he dream of hurting them or try to do so in real life? We may never know, but such possiblity exists, even if it was as likely as Chris managing to rape someone.

He won't make a good lolcow due to how more intelligent he is then Chris.

>>67682
I think we have taken retarded manchildren as granted. For me, it doesn't make much difference as I'm all too used to self-declared genius martyr-complex otherkin DA lolcow furries.

>>67682
Plus he isn't openly weird like Chris is. He's too high-functioning.

>>67697
...except that he confessed shoving his furryshit down his coworkers throats.

>>67575
So, I have a question.

If you talk to Norbert like he is a normal person and not like he is a character from the angry beavers, why do you like him?

A character from the angry beavers is all that he is. He can't be anything else without ceasing to be Norbert. If he does something outside of the confines of what his character defines him to be, then he ceases being that character and begins being something else.

Why still say he is Norbert?

I've given up telling you you don't know love and you don't have a relationship- you wont listen anyways. But I'm morbidly curious as to why you insist your imaginary fuckbuddy is still Norbert if you have clearly made him into something that he is not (since you freely admit that in-character, he would not enjoy his situation).

Is it merely the image that you like? Because pure sexual attraction is lust, not love. If you're bending his character to accommodate your shortcomings, then the truth is that you don't need "him" at all because the thing which balances you is a thing of your own creation- a thing within your own mind.

>>67682
>He won't make a good lolcow due to how more intelligent he is then Chris.

Saying someone is (much) more intelligent than Chris isn't really saying much.

Dude fucks a plushie cartoon beaver and considers it normal/typical, for crying out loud.

>What is do is typical of any human being, I have sexual attraction and great love, the difference between the usual and I is that my love is for that of a cartoon character named Norbert Foster Beaver.

>>67757
aah, this is where it gets interesting! you see, there is no single "norbert beaver", for every person who see him there is a separate norbert beaver that exists. the norbert beaver that i know and love is much different than the norbert beaver that my friend knows and loves, so on and so forth. we all have our own idea of what norbert is like, he is after all just a product of the imagination (mitch, nick and the writers). The basic rules that make norbert what he is; voice, apperance, basic personality traits all matter to me and thye remain the constant with anyone who becomes attracted to him. what changed is the blanks we fill in, the parts of him that are not present on the TV show, the parts that make him more whole.

to mo, norbert still sounds like nick bakay, still witty and makes silly noises, still insecure but proud of the way he looks. THEN I ADD! I had the things i want about him, i bring him reason, i age him some more to match myself, and i make him much more sexual.

just as the norbert that exists in my friends mind may not appeal to me and mind not to him, they are both still norbert beaver after all and as there is no definitive norbert beaver because, lets face it, HE"S NOT REAL! you cannot argue this fact with me.

case closed.

you fools! stop asking me questions if you want me to leave!

you know i cant help looking at this god damn page...

oh no MY WEAKNESS. they'll take advantage of me for SURE!

>>67768
So basically Norbert is like the town of Silent Hill as presented in Silent Hill 2?

>>67768
It's true that he isn't real, but what I can argue with you is that the thing you created isn't Norbert Beaver anymore. It's some bastard child you created based on your own sick delusions.

The thing you love is merely a facet of yourself. Not that anyone needed any more proof of what an egotistical asshole you are, as you're obviously quite full of yourself- yet oddly insecure and self-hating at the same time.

You should be locked up and studied. I'm sure medical science would be fascinated by the sheer scope and intensity of your demented fantasies and impulses.

>>67775
Which reminds me- there is one more free therapy option for you! Institutionalize yourself. You'd qualify as harmful or insane in an instant if you told anyone with a degree and no obligation to preserve your privacy what you really thought about all day.

They might even let you keep your fuck plushie.

>>67764

What I'm trying to say is : He's going to be harder to troll then Chris. Chris took forever to learn anything.

>>67786
Eh...
...
...I don't know if you're slow-in-the-mind or just new, but depending on the lolcow, /cwc/ does two things: Troll or document the lulz. In Chris's case, both. In ADF's case, document the lulz. As has been proven before, some seemingly untrollable lolcows are best trolled by themselves.

So please, sit back and have some fine wine while you enjoy the show.

>>67788
...and yes, /cwc/'s Chris trolling is and was non-existing and pathetic. I know.

>>67788
Agreed 100%

I was thinking, would I be any better or worse if I had kept my testicles but had my penis removed? (or both, if you're that up tight)

of course I'm not going to but it's funny to think about. imagine me humping my plushy and cum shooting out of a little hole where my cock used to be. giggles

>>67815
WHAT IS THIS I DONT EVEN

>>67815
I would argue taking them both off would be better. You know. For the sake of the dogs and everything.

>>67815
Now you're just putting on a performance.

>>67852
Of course he is, because he loves the attention.

JohnOfE, are you still around /cwc/?

>>72973
maybe...
this thread is dead. the freak show is old, no?

>>73034
Well I'm sure a colourful chap like yourself can get it started again, right?

>>73034

Sup.

>>73039
I don't play well with Anon
Or do I?
You need to do something to invoke a reaction. But what's the point of playing when you know that it's just plane old fun for me?

What do you want from me?

Go troll my tumblr account, my responses are published and it usually causes drama with my followers rather then myself. It's quite amusing really.

>>73062
Well I for one find the fact that you're a lolcow who has polite discussions with his "trolls" in and of itself a hilarious event. Whatever happened to that guy who was arguing with you about what love is? We should get him back.

Am I the only one who thinks a lot of this is just John making shit up to justify his fetishes with an omgtotallyhardcore mental disorder?

After all he did fuck off when people started to criticise obvious inconsistencies in his explanation of himself, then came back in time to brag about how he wanted to fuck up animals. He only likes attention when people are going OMGYOUSICKFUCK. It's pretty much like the emo teenager on deviantart writing horror stories about murdering their family so people will clamour all over them.

I think you're all taking him too seriously. He's just a reclusive plushie fucker pulling shit out of his ass. He can't even keep his story straight. One moment he's claiming people don't factor into the equation at all, the next he's saying he wants someone to love him the way he loves Norbert.

Isn't it interesting how people with mental health problems use the internet for reinforcement rather than to seek help?

You can tell the world "I'm in love with this treefrog!!! And I want to tear its guts out and put them in my diapers because I love it." And there will be at least someone out there who supports you

>>73071
>Am I the only one who thinks a lot of this is just John making shit up to justify his fetishes with an omgtotallyhardcore mental disorder?

No.

Best to ignore this fucker. Hes the breed of lolcow that only becomes empowered the more we attempt to troll him.

>>73071
You are so right about a few points, and equally as wrong about others.

In trying to keep my "story" simple, I may confuse people. There just just so many layers to my numerous fetishes and mental problems that even I sometimes loose track of.

I mean, the whole plushy thing is totally separate from my desire to have sex with dogs. My coprophilia fetish is totally separate from all that too. MY depression has nothing to do with being a furry. And I my reasons for quitting my job were completely irrelevant; it was because i want a better paying job with a less stressful atmosphere.

anyway, if you took a few hours out of your life to read the hundred or so pages i have written about my life, you will see what i'm on about. but i know your not going to so troll away in ignorant bliss; i don't mind.

did you know that my therapist said that i'm totally sane, no actual mental problems at all. wanting to fuck cartoon characters, plushies and dogs isn't a proper mental condition, it's a fetish, and fetishes can be overcome. mental problems cannot be overcome the same way my problems can. in fact, if i really wanted to, i could lead a normal life, i'm just not willing to put in the hard yards to set it right.

i like to take the easy way as much as possible.

so what?
i'm a funny guy :-)

But, you know, every time you do Norbert, he's thinking of me.

>>73083

Wise words.

It's called rolling with the punches

>>73086
oh, ha ha!
the beauty of Norbert is that he doesn't think about anything; he just lies there quietly as fuck him up the ass for the 3rd time today.

don't forget about brian griffin though. every few night norbert sleeps on the floor so brian can be molested. he's fantastic to fuck, i made his hole nice and tight!
his great big nose is a pleasure to hold and kiss.

i'm thinking about getting another tat.

>>73230
You try too hard.

I have a lot of similar fucked up quirks like this guy, but I've never gotten to the point where it's out of control and I'd consider chemical castration on myself.
Wouldn't think to draw attention to myself over this either, which is obviously another side to him, he's more than likely some sort of exhibitionist, I doubt this is therapeutic in any way.

>>73083
This.

>>73232
Way too hard. If lolcows take pride in being perverts, it's only moderately funny.

>>73230

You're trying to be outrageous and offensive and make us think you're the biggest degenerate ever, but it's just way too obvious. zzzz

perhaps it is YOU that is being trolled now then?

>>73259
Being equally repulsive, and boring isn't considered trolling bro, its known as being a terrible person

>>73260
trolls are terrible people too, i'm sure i'll fit right in :-)

>>73259

>>73259
... no?

  >>You're probably wondering by now if I'm into bestiality.
>>To tell you the truth in all honesty, I am. It's a painfully shameful thing to admit to, but I have to. Because of my high respect for dogs I'm very much against inflicting any wrong doing on them, there for I refuse to let myself get to the point that I'll actually DO something that I'll regret. I like to convince myself that I'm completely safe around them but the grim reality is that I'm not. If I was to be left alone with one that I fancy for a lengthy period of time, you can almost guarantee that I'll try something if I think I can get away with it. It's a horrible way to feel, the love I feel for them ruined by this unnatural lust that I have. I see them differently to people, it's like dogs are the opposite sex for me, regardless of the gender of the animal. You know how a guy checks out an attractive woman, observing her legs, breasts, face, figure, etc. I do the very same thing when I see a dog. Everywhere I go its like that; driving in the car I can become distracted by a dog being walked, sometimes they can be a hazard because of it. It's a natural thing for me, its how I've always been, but when I think about it from another person's point of view I'm rather disturbed and worrying.

I'm getting serious Dracoguard vibes from this guy! http://encyclopediadramatica.ch/DracoGuard

>>66288
Oh no . . . ADF is worse than CWC!

>>66643
OH my god! It's the CWC sex videos all over again! That is was fucked up!

JohnofE, is it true that you also want to fuck Sonichu?

>>73417
Nah ya big doof, Sonichu is gross.
If Chris were to invite me into his room for some kinky butt sex (him on top of course) I would most definitely oblige. I would like to BE Sonichu in that respect.

I mean, it's gotta be better then the scum that's fucked me at the BaseMENt, those guys were old, gross and horny. Ever been fucked by a 55 year old? I have. Cock's cock.

>>73394
Difference is that (like 30% of Americans) he's had the pleasure of a real dog and I have not... yet.

The only sob story in my life is about how bloody hard it is for me to get a moment alone with a dog of some description. I have no dog, none of my neighbors have a dog; it's impossible to even get near one!

I'm working on the situation however, very slowly.

>>73545
Wow u're really wierd and freeky!!!!! wow

>>73551
I thought you were trying to stay away from dogs to avoid inflicting pain on them?

>>73551

How is it hard to locate a dog? They are all over my backyard and tear apart my trash on the weekend. Besides, I thought that you gave up on dog love.

He's just trying to freak you guys out. Look at me, I'm so shameless yadda yadda fart. piss off and go get arrested for molesting your neighbor's pets

>>73560
True, but you miss the point.
There is no neighbors dog to molest, that's the whole problem! If there was, I would have done it by now and I wouldn't we whinging about it.

>>73556
I did, but then I changed my mind.
I won't want to hurt dogs, but my desire to fuck seems to overpower my conscience a lot lately. That is the reality of being a sex offender, I'm not one yet but if I get my way, perhaps one day I will be. How depressing.

>>73564
That is a scary thought. You should go one step further with your castration thing and actually just cut the entire thing off, just to be safe. That will surely thwart the efforts of your future self. Can't hurt the dogs at all if you have a stump instead of a dick, right?

Hey, I'm only thinking of the animals here.

>>73564

Where do you fucking live? In the desert?

Also, why aren't you attracted to humans? If you're looking for emotional intimacy in a relationship, you're not going to find it in a dog.

>>73564

Please, go head and do some self harm. Or maybe a violent display in public. With any luck, you'll end up in an asylum. Free therapy and pills, easy. But be sure to make it big. Shoot for the proverbial stars and rape a terrier in McDonalds or something. You might even get a spot in the local rag.

>>73627
>rape a terrier in McDonalds

This is a good idea John. You should totally do this.

>>73640
Seconded.

>>73627
Cross-dresser shags mutt at historic castle:
http://www.theregister.co.uk/2010/07/21/heritage_castle/

I would, but no one would really care. Give him a warning and send him on his way!

Family Guy made an episode about how no one cares about dogs. They also make episodes about a certain dog having sex with women.

It's funny.

Realize this:
I can go without dogs well enough as it is, it would be nice but I can go without.

Norbert Beaver is the reason I'm able to.

Be thankful for that.

>>73647

Well, he still gets more beaver than Chris!

John, I recommend you look into a game called "Second life". I think it would be perfect for you. You'd most likely find other people as fucked up as you, and possibly make friends or even find a romantic partner that's into plushie furry sex as well.

>>73545
Would you fuck this guy?

>>73699
He's gonna say
>Yeah, and I'd let him fuck my asshole too, while I, uh, um, while I LICK A DOG'S ASS, and then...

>>73697

In his bio, he said that he had sex with a guy and later told him about his love for Nobert but he turned him down. The guy didn't even care and just wanted to be with him. He clearly doesn't want a relationship with people.

>>73564
So what is it you find so attractive about dogs?

>>73724
what is you find so attractive about humans?

i can tell you all the thing i find attractive about dogs, but there are just too many; they are beautiful and i find them very sexually attractive. i feel connected to them.

Why is this? I don't know. I wish I knew. Why are people gay? Strait? Bi? Why are there pedophiles?

They can all tell you how they find their subjects sexually attractive, but not why.

Dogs have just always been my attraction since i matured sexually; they were my first sexual thought and still are now. it's just the way i am.

>>73722
that guy was a pure Nigerian and we only met to have casual sex. I had to try black and after that i swear i'm NEVER going back. he only wanted me for my body anyway, skinny white young boys was his thing. i mean, he was BLACK! black. I just can't handle having sex with a fresh black guy who smells like curry and smoke. it was fucking gross.

if it were a white guy who was my age, i would have played the game longer. this guys dick was too long as well, it hurt cos it would go in way too far. do you know what sort of pain that is when that happens? it's not funny.

>>73793
I find their personalities, intricacies, quirks, and emotions attractive.

A dog can not give you the same depth of conversation, interaction, and emotion a human can.

Plus, even if someone is straight, gay or bi, they are still attracted to the same species. Inter-species mating is not really meant to happen. The dog does not understand, or crave sexual contact with a human. They are just doing what you train them to do, what makes you happy, because you are their master.

Abusing animals is like abusing a child- neither of them will know better, and you can teach both of them to think it is right. The difference is that the animal isn't capable of growing up and realizing what a sick fuck you are and pressing charges.

>>73793
>what is you find so attractive about humans?

Nothing really, since I'm basically asexual. I'm weirder than you~ na na na

>>73722
The thing is, in second life you can make your avatar to be whatever the fuck you want. He could have sex with dogs, or people being Norbert the beaver. The game has a FUCKING HUGE furry community. He should at least look into it.

>>73798
>he thinks that being unattractive and unlovable makes him asexual

>>73831

Do it John, it is your destiny.

Check out Furcadia. The community is smaller, but it's easier to set up your character and navigate the world. There's also a world strictly for animals, not furries. Take the tutorial or you won't understand some things.

Dear John.

fuck off.

~ Anon

>>73865
>>73831
Uhhh why are people trying to give HELPFUL ADVICE to a person who wants to fuck real dogs and fake beavers? Just because a few of you anons have a massive foreveralone boner over him doesn't mean he isn't a freak who has behaved like a complete child when he has been questioned.
>"Bawww shrinks don't help! Bawwww nobody loves me!" etc

>>74008
Because maybe he'll find someone just like him dressed in a norbert beaver avatar with a penis, and leave the real dogs alone.

>>73793
Could you go into any details?

I'm just asking because I'm not sure if you are just saying you want to have sex with a dog for attention.

>>74013
Based on what he's stated here, he would just end up stabbing that person to death.

>>74013
He should just be committed in my opinion, but I guess I can see the logic in wanting him to hook up with someone equally as fucked up.
Still.. anon >>74212
Has a point. Aside from everything JohnofE seems to be near sociopathic.

>anon >>74212 Has a point. Aside from everything JohnofE seems to be near sociopathic.

He wishes.

http://johnofe.tumblr.com/post/7214741115/i-had-some-spare-time

This thread's fucking weird guys. I think that CWC curse is real.

>>74518
THE FUCK

It's interesting, ALL he seems to talk about is his sexual fetishes, I wonder if it's his way of dealing with being a boring recluse.

>>74582
He's trying to "shock" people and get the attention he desperately needs.

It's rather boring and old, really. You can only say "I want to fuck a dog! YOUR DOG!" so many times.

>>74587
I want to fuck YOUR DOG!
Don't flatter yourself :-)
What breed is it?
That matters you know.

arf arf

>>74670
>What breed is it? That matters you know.

This guy seems like his main problem is being histrionic. Hes not fucked up in any way aside from being an attention whore, pretending to be fucked up is his way of getting attention.

>>74746
yep - sage

>>74746
that must be it; i'm pretending. it's all good then! i'll just go back to hanging out with the guys at the pub, watching football and coming home to fuck my hot missus!

it was all a big ruse!

you know all i do is talk about things that i have done or like to do. i never pretend. i just know that talking about the things that i love in great detail get's attention. it's so easy! i just talk about things that i do and not even have to bother doing things that i don't like. everybody just makes it all so easy. i wouldn't waste my time pretending to be a sick fuck, there's no fun in that. it's much more fun being the real thing and getting trolled by you lot. better still when you all get annoyed with me and end up saying that i'm just a big pretender.

*giggles

i'm in the middle of making a dog plushie, it's gonna be nice. an anthromorphic black and white border collie. i can't wait, it should help satisfy my craving. it cost me $200 in fake fur you know, i bought the good stuff. i'd make it out of real dog fur but it's too hard to come by.

>>74943
Why don't you just buy a dog?

>>74943
Do you ever talk about anything besides your desire to fuck dogs you retard?

>>74947
My desire to fuck Norbert, Brian and Dog. plus a few others perhaps. In fact, I'm more interested in them than dogs anyway so your asking the wrong question.

The answer is no and that's the way i like it.

>Ignoring posts trying to help you, suggest things for you, or ask legitimate questions
Stay classy John.

Brian Griffin is described as being a Labrador.

Cue old meme, because that's where I'll be.

>>74953
So I mean, are you like this out in public too? Someone's talking about the weather or a local sports team and you just say "I'd like to fuck some dogs. Cartoon ones specifically."?

Cop pulls you over, "Do you know how fast you were going?" "I'm in a hurry to get home and have sex with a stuffed animal!"

You're asked what you'd like for dinner, "A large helping of stuffed beaver ass!"

Are you seriously not capable of just having mundane conversations that have nothing to do with stabbing things at all, be it with your penis or something sharp?

>>74956
This is a point.

JohnofE, what's your favourite food, have you ever taken a vacation to a foreign country, and what is your opinion on the Gulf War?

How often do you leave your home on an average day not counting work or buying food/whatever.

Has anyone ever compared you to David Parker Ray?

>>66244 hey who u calling a plushophile

lmao @ people confusing me for johnofe

y'all truly at the top of your game no wonder everyones so afraid of anonymous

...is is really THAT weird to fuck a plushie?
There surely isn't a difference between grinding my twat on pillow or grinding it on a big stuffed bunny plushie. the stuffed bunny plush just has a better surface to grind on.
what is is the difference???? both of them are by definition "stuffed pillow".
You guys are the ones that are weird...

>>75020
>>75067
Rephrase. I ain't gonna read this shit.

>>75068
"WHAT, HOW IS IT WEIRD TO FUCK A PILLOW SHAPED LIKE AN ANIMAL?!"

To answer- because it's SHAPED LIKE AN ANIMAL, FOR FUCK'S SAKE.

>>74956
No I don't just spew my shit in public; I'm very good at being normal when I need to be. I'm only like this on the net where it doesn't matter. IRL I'm very conservative.

I don't do small talk, that's one of my few quirks.

A conversation isn't interesting to me unless it involves freaky furry shit. I have learned my lessons about talking about it with people IRL and simply avoid having conversations at all, only participating when I really need to.

This is why I enjoy my own company, no one likes what I like and I find normal stuff pretty boring so I'm quite happy to isolate myself. The net is where I can talk about it because unlike my non existent social life here in NZ, there are people who enjoy me for who I am, and others who don't which is equally as enjoyable because they don't know how to just ignore me and go somewhere else like the smarter ones.

I enjoy pizza, coffee and strong alcoholic beverages. Bakery mince and cheese pies with a can of V too.

I have no desire to leave NZ for a holiday other then to meet my friend in SA whom I have been in contact with for the past 7 years. Trips around the world do not interest me, I would prefer to spend that money seeing my own country first.

I have no opinion on wars and politics or religion other than the fact that they each serve their purpose.

>>74971
No. I almost never leave the house for purposes other than work and grocery shopping. I do visit family on a regular basis though, that's all.

>>75067
If you are using something purely as a sexual toy I guess not although it is pretty deviant like Chris using his Officer Nasty doll but John says he has an attraction to his stuffed toy beaver so it takes it to a different level.

>>75075
>A conversation isn't interesting to me unless it involves freaky furry shit. I have learned my lessons about talking about it with people IRL

Can you elaborate on that?

>>75083
seconding. Tell us some stories about people you freaked out by talking about dog sex with IRL.

Also, you're my favourite lolcow.

My friends were watching Angry Beavers when I came back from the store. I couldn't stop thinking of John Of E and his bizarre obsession.

>>75083
Thirding. Tell us a story or two about how you socially fucked up. As much as we hate you, we find you incredibly interesting.

>>75210
I don't

>>75223
Then why are you even in this thread?

>>75227
I'm not.

>>75083
>>75099
>>75210

It was the slow death of respect that people once had for me.

I recently quite my job because as of a year ago, I have been loathing the place more and more. I left after 4 years spent there.

I started work a normal straight guy. After a year I was known to be gay and interested in drawing beavers but not in a weird way. All was fine until year 3.

A new worker started, he was a scatterbrain and loved all things sex, him and I were good friends. I told him about my furry shit and he loved hearing about it, we would speak of it often and blatantly for kicks. I enjoyed it so much that I accidentally on purpose let out certain things to people about my kinky thing with Norbert.

After a year of that, more things about me would be revealed by myself to other staff due to now having anything better to talk about over beer on fridays after work. I became a good topic and eventually dog fucking was let out. I knew this was a bad thing right from the start but I still couldn't stop myself.

Eventually it was common knowledge that I slept with a beaver plushie and desired sex with dogs.
As much as I enjoyed having nothing to hide, I hated it. I hated not having any secrets, just being fully exposed.

I soon came to realize how isolated I had become from my work mates and although some of them were still nice to me, I knew they were looking at my funny and whispering. Others were silently cold towards me. I knew I shouldn't have let slip about the dog thing, fucking stupid.

It was still okay though, the boss still liked me and I did my job really well. He was sad to loose me, as were some of the other staff who relied on me to do their bitch work.

It was just the knowledge that they had all lost respect for me simply because I told the truth. I have learned that regardless of who you are what what your secrets are, they should be kept.

I thought I would be respected for being so open and honest about it, I was wrong.

I will never bring my personal life to work again, ever. They wont know that I can draw or what my true interests are. I will simply have to just play it normal and fit in. I will be respected and liked as I was for the first year at my last job.

that's really it

>>75124
That warms my cockles :-)
Thank you.

>>75271
>Thinking you'd be respected for revealing that you sleep with and have sex with a plush beaver and have the desire to fuck dogs.
Really John?

Also, can you draw well? Will you show us some of your non-fucked up drawings? You can show us the fucked up ones too as I find myself morbidly curious.

>>75283
From ED:
>JohnOfE thinks he is an artist, but he sucks at drawing. He can, however, draw Norbert really well, but that's only due to the fact that he's drawn more than 500 pics of him over the past 6 years.

>>75271
One of the only reasons people here "respected" you is because you acknowledge that you're fucked up. Despite the fact that you know you're fucked up and not normal by anyone's standards but your own, you decided to share your freaky fetish shit with people you worked with? Really?

I think at the heart of it, maybe you're no different than the typical hardcore furry. You can't socialize for shit, you have a major case of unwarranted self importance (since you share all your BS with everyone, expecting them to care), you like to claim persecution and say people are picking on you, you want to fuck animals, anthropomorphic or otherwise, and you're a huge flaming faggot.

Oh and of course... you have no desire to change, because it's just "who you are".

You'll be alone forever, loving something you made up in your head (though the source material is from a cartoon, you admit you made up 90% of his personality to fit your needs) because you can't love, or hate, or even care about, anyone but yourself. You're the most fucked up flavor of narcissist I've ever seen.

>>75271

Sounds tome that besides teh ghey you also caught the dumb fucks. Here is a free piece of good advice: keep your personal shit personal and out of the work place. If you want to fuck dudes dressed as cartoon beavers or stick your dick in stuffed toys, whatever dude, but keep it at home. You have no one but yourself to blame for your being ridiculed.

Do you often feel lonely?

>>75073
uuh, its a fucking pillow dude. get over it

So when you play video games where you kill someone that looks like a human, do you feel the same way. That makes you a real murderer right?
how about horror movies, or girls in latex cat suits? is that like fucking your cat for you?

>>75384

well, you see, my dear sperglord, most people have sex with other people. not pillows or animals. so fucking an animal shaped pillow is both sad and carries unsavory implications.

simple enough for you?

>>75384
/cwc/ - uuh, its a fucking pillow dude. get over it

>>75346
I'll be along for as long as I choose to be. I'm not ready to give up Norbert and go out looking for human companionship. I will when I'm ready. I never do anything I don't want to do, or do anything that doesn't make me happy.

It all comes down to whether your happy, if you are then nothing else really matters.

I do know that I have a streak of narcissistic personality disorder, but not much as I do have empathy for others, just not quite as much as commonfolk.

I have quite an ego and am rather full of myself, BUT... In real life situations I always put myself last and always consider other people first. I am a total pushover to strangers. I will only challenge people I know well. This is why to most people I seem such a nice guy.

Nice guys always come last. I have found this to be true.

>>75381
Of course I get lonely!
How would you feel if your best friend was a stuffed beaver that you made yourself? It's bullshit. But I only snap out of my fantasy land on occasion, as a means of coping I'm rather good at keeping the truth from myself so that I can truly feel happy with what I have. There is still a small part of me deep down that is crying out for a real lover who returns the love that I give.

I just love Norbert that much that I can't stand to help myself and get rid of him in favor of humans. I just can't do it. You have to understand how desperately I'm attached to Norbert. It's way beyond being just a fetish.

>>75352
I never said that I blamed anyone else besides myself. Stating the obvious, good on you.

I made the mistake and I learned from it.

>>75423
>Nice guys always come last. I have found this to be true.

Uh oh, former "Nice Guy" in the house.

I'm just going to assume for a second that this JohnofE is the real deal. I know, stupid, but there's nothing to lose. I just really want to point this one out:

>>75423
>Nice guys always come last. I have found this to be true.

No, you're just an immature manchild with a massive entitlement complex.

>commonfolk
Exhibit A I suppose. You fucking prick.

>>75423

Grow a pair of balls and quit being a little bitch. One of my best friends is not only openly gay, but is a cross dresser AND a furry. He gets looks all the time and when we're in public we both get looks. We're both comfortable with who we are and it doesn't bother us. You seem like either you're trying to get attention/shock people or you're completely insecure with your life and who you are. Get over it, be happy with who you are, and move on with your life. If you don't want people knowing you're a furfag and stuffed animal fucker then don't tell them. Some things truly are better left unspoken/unknown.

>>75449
>I am not only openly gay, but I am a cross dresser AND a furry. I get looks all the time and when I'm in public I love to get looks. I'm comfortable with who I am and it doesn't bother me.

Fix'd.

  I now just feel really sorry for JohnOfE and his elaborate self delusions of having love and friendship in his life.

>>75449
Furry in denial detected.

>>75271
>>75423
This is some good shit. Tell us more John. More about your family this time. What was their initial reaction when you told them about the dogs?

Stop TRYING to be haters so hard, you look stupid when your posts start to contradict themselves. Just roll with it and stop trying to be cool.

At least this person is consistent: >>75499
Mother found out about my interest in dogs in late 2006. Whenever I stayed at her house I'd use her computer (I was too poor for a laptop back then) to do my emails and would delete everything when I was done. On the one time that I forgot to empty the sent items folder I happened to have sent a really graphic email to one of my friends about dog fucking and she found it and read it (god knows why). She was pretty upset and my sister said that she cried about it for a while. All this happened without me knowing, it wasn't until she had come to terms with it that she talked to me about it and was assured by me that I actually hadn't done anything to any dogs YET. That was also the day she found out I was gay and into Beavers too. We have since spoken of it all properly and she's alright with it and very supportive. My sister knows because she was the one my mother went to when she first found the email. Because I have been having such a hard time with it all in the last year or so, all the doctor visits and such, I recently came clean with my dad about it to explain what all the psychiatrist visits were for. He figured as much and was fine with it because I'm doing my best to deal with it. MY family knowing about my dirty secret is no drama at all and I feel better about it then if they didn't know. They are all fully supportive and help me out when I'm going through a rough patch. Perhaps it's the fact that I haven't actually fucked a dog yet that makes it easier for them. Of course they know what the plushies are for and are fine with it as long as it makes me happy.

Heh, the guy who's being nice to you is the only one being "consistent". Convenient!

>>75512

>trying to be haters
>trying

no john, we really do hate you.

i in particular hate how you think just because you can rationalize your bullshit, means the rest of us should obey your warped little delusion. and seriously, if your so goddamn comfortable in who you are, give us a video, photo, whatever, explaining yourself.

>>75514
OBEY!

You obviously haven't been to my site if you're asking for those things... this is why I think you're all stupid. You demand things of me which I have already provided, quite clearly in appropriate places. Honestly. Anon is lazy to a fault.

PHOTO:
WHO AM I?
http://johnofe.com/about/index.htm

ABOUT MY OBSESSION:
http://johnofe.com/papers/inside_this_furry/index.htm

VIDEO OF ME EXPLAINING IT:
http://johnofe.com/video/video.wmv

>>75516

oh come on john. you're supposed to be the deluded kind of stupid.

more blood for the blood yadda yadda. more videos! do something funny (you are a humorless fuck, seriously! regale us with stories of molested animals and traumatized co workers!

>>75518
I don't do videos. I tried it out with that ONE I did on you tube with my webcam; didn't like it, can't do it, never again.

That other video that I liked to was done with three other people in the room for an interview; SLIGHTLY easier but still shitting myself hard.

I have been at this for over 7 years, the two most dramatic moments of my furry life have been said and I have no more to offer. IRL my life is REALLY uneventful. All I do is eat, work, fuck plushies and sleep and fuck plushies some more.

I did just complete my 3rd plushie tonight! The dog; the 3rd of my 3 favourite characters, my life in complete. I'm gonna try him out tonight, I just know it's gonna be good.

I might make a new beaver plushie next, my other one is getting old and used. Being my first it isn't as well made as my latest creations. He needs a tighter hole too, he's been stretched to fisting proportions over time.

Just stay outta trouble I guess?

>>75539

Don't be silly, Johnny! You can make a video easily. Just do what you're doing in this thread: Answering questions and enlightening us on your fascinating worldview. Don't worry about how it looks, your charisma and chutzpah will do the work for you.

For one, I would like to know how you clean "Norbert". Do you use bleach or pine sol?

If you were to pick the most attractive human on earth who would you say that was?

See this is why I like this. The lolcow is answering questions and providing lulz without a need to be trolled, and the actual trolls are getting trolled by the lolcow too. I can point to at least five occasions in this thread right now where john could have put a 'u mad?' post and it would have been entirely appropriate.

So anyway John, more about that show that Norbert came from. I don't remember the name. When did it first come on, when did you first watch it, and how did you feel at the time? (I'm assuming you didn't watch the show and immediately get a boner over it. Or did you? I don't know.)

>>75602
Wannabe dog fucker and furry
Emo bastard who cries persecution
Unwarranted self importance
No need to be trolled

Right. Gotcha.


How this board changes their standards for people they "like" is completely beyond me. Last I checked there was no tolerance for furfags. Or do you merely mean to play into John's massive, self obsessed ego, so he'll stay here and answer dumbass questions about how he keeps his plush from smelling like rotten cum?

Well please, do go on and troll.

>>75612
By 'no need' I meant 'not necessary'. This is lulzy with just John answering questions and people getting needlessly mad over his answers. If trolling was work, then this is like getting a monthly tugboat. John may very well be all those things, but he's still remaining calm here, you're getting mad that he's tolerated on this board at all, and then he's getting off on the attention given to him and your reactions. Think about that for a minute, and you'll realise why I find this so hilarious.

John, if you had to have sex with a Sonichu character, which one would you pick?

>>75639
Oh no, I understand why you think it's funny. I just can't comprehend why one week "furry is never okay" and results in insta-bans and the next week "furry is okay if it entertains us".

It has little to do with JohnofE himself and more to do with the board's reactions.

>>75757
Ohhh... I see what you're doing now. You're going to other threads and bitching about how you "don't get how X is a lolcow" to incite people to rage.

>>75566
No. I'm sorry. Videos are out of the question.

I don't have to clean Norbert because I don't cum all over his fur like an idiot would. I've done it once by accident and I'll tell you; cum is a bitch to get out of fake fur!

I will however get a damp cloth and wipe him over carefully because he eventually smells like my BO. I do sleep with him very night so it takes about a month before I need to clean him again. I just use water and dry him with a hair dryer.

The reason he don't get cum all in him is because I use cut up plastic bags to put over my cock when I fuck him. It acts like a condom preventing any semen escaping into him, it also protects my cock from rubbing against the rough innards of the plushie. I use a bit of lube inside it and it's actually really enjoyable. I don't understand why no one else does this, it's a no brainer really.

>>75571
I'm gay but I would turn strait for her.

If I had to pick a guy, it'd be David Duchovany, preferably in Californication mode.

>>75761
and with that post you've made yourself so much more ''normal'' than you yourself would like.

/''lolcow''

>>75602
I never knew of the Angry Beavers until I watched it for the first into in late 2003. It only took a month of REALLY LIKING IT before I got a boner over Norbert and fapped over him. Thus beginning my obsession that you all know and love today.

I'm not one of those people who have had the benefit of the angry beavers being their childhood memory. I was 15 when I saw it first time.

>>75747
I'd fuck CWC himself. I don't do sonichu shit.

Some furries tell me that people like me are why they get fursecuted. I'm glad, because furries like that need to get over themselves and accept their fucked up and not be trolled so easily.

I'm amazed how easy general furries are to troll! I've done it by accident.

Why are people so stupid? This thread for example; I see some REAL SHIT FOR BRAINS lurking here passing themselves off as trolls. You should be thankful you can be Anon so no one knows what a faggot you are :-)