There was this retard at my school who was retarded as fuck. We used to knock out his yellow teeth and drag him around by the testicles.

You know, typical retarded battin' fun we all had as kids.

In 9th grade, I took an art class with a friend of mine and some older kids. Among the bunch was a sophomore who had some SERIOUS issues.
I don't necessarily know if he was autistic, but he often fell back on the crutch of "post traumatic stress".
He was a christfag who carried a bible everywhere with him, and when he was in a bad mood, he'd whip it out, stick it out on the table, and glare up at people every now and then.
Of course, he'd have his good days too. Every now and again, he'd join us in our joking and being general assholes. However, he'd escalate, start calling us jackasses and getting personal. We'd reciprocate -- it was all fun and games, but of course he'd fly off the handle and cry to the teacher for us being big meanie heads.

He also believed he was a messenger from god, and could foresee natural disasters. After I started online highschool, my friend would report back to me the crazy shit he did. Once, he ran through the halls screaming about a tornado. He was also given a walkie talkie by the teachers in case anyone was BEING MEAN TO HIM Q____________Q

>>68454
Sounds retarded. The question is, though, was she hot? And if so, are there pics?

>>68495
You probably didn't read that she was asian. Honest mistake.

>>68454
Hey, wait a minute. Haven't you already post a lengthier version of this story some time ago and never finished it.

>>68454
I think you've described this girl in a thread before. You said she had crushes on lots of boys and ended up getting used, I think?

To contribute, there was one guy I remember back in middle school. He wasn't autistic, but he had a deformity. I can't recall the name of it at the moment, but basically his head was extremely deformed and basically box-shaped and flat, and he had webbed hands. This was middle-school and the guy was extremely tall, skinny and lanky, but kind of hunched over. He wore boxy shoes, he kind of reminded me of Herman Munster in that respect, with the square head and boxy platform shoes, but no where near as endearing. You know those "proof of a loving god" pictures with the babies with the bugged out eyes and the squished face, and the mouth constantly hanging open? That's what he looked like. Literally his head looked squished. He was like a bad drawing, and making his head stick out more, he grew it out practically into an afro. Horrible teeth as well, of course.

Anyway, no one really talked to him. Not because he was weird-looking, but because he was actually something of a bully. Constantly smacking anyone shorter than him on the back of the head with his massive webbed hand and giggling about it. Kids that tried to make friends just got smacked around. He spoke well enough, though his dialog was mostly limited to english and spanish insults.

Anyway, one day on a bus ride he kept smacking this one kid who got stuck sitting next to him. He was one of the shorter ones. When the kid got off the bus he turned back and gave the guy the finger, and called him an asshole and an ugly freak. The guy defiantly laughed, and stuck his arm out the window trying to give the kid the finger back, but there was this unbelievably crushed look on his face when he was reminded "Oh yeah, my fingers are stuck together. I can't give the finger." Everybody started laughing at him, and he sunk down into his seat.

He never picked on anyone again after that. Apparently that was all it took.

>>68508
didn't someone call him a "retard flipper baby" at one point

I went to High School with Linkara. He was a lolcow back then as well, but surprisingly most of his friends were worse than he was. As in, he's always been an insufferable weeaboo nerdlinger, but his friends were straight up autistics.

>>68508
I remember this story, I think.

Well. I happen to know someone like this.

So I've known this guy since the 8th grade, right? 2004. I switch districts at the start of high school, and we never talk again until around the time Tatsunoko vs. Capcom was released in the States. He'd obtained a copy, and invited me over several times to play it.

So the first time I come into his house, it REEKS of marijuana. He lives with his parents, so I guess the first thing I get to know about them is they are 50-something stoners. Every time you ring the doorbell you can hear scurrying and liberal amounts of Oust being sprayed. Enter our specimen.

A stout, stubbly, autistic 21 year old gentleman with a vast collection of video games and Legos. Sitting on the couch with his fucking junk hanging out of the hole in his Mario pajama pants. The first thing you notice is the smug tone of voice he takes with you. Everything is his inferior. You beat him in a 1v1 match? You're out of his house. It got so bad that I got into the habit of pressing the "power" button on the Wiimote when I wanted to leave early, killing his saves and my welcome.
He farted constantly. He would nibble on his toenails while waiting for a game to start. I shit you not, there was a small pile of toenail pieces near the wall to the left of where he sat.
I know you're thinking that I should have just left once after an unsatisfying game of TvC, but I wasn't done. I had to learn how and why this guy lived the way he did.

So I kept coming back to the house. Thinking of it now, it may have been his mother that really kept him from becoming a fine, mild-mannered, albeit awkward member of society. I don't think I ever saw her in a state where she wasn't absolutely mentally totaled with the amount of alcohol she consumed. And through all of that insobriety, she had the ability to literally keep us occupied for half an hour at a time over whether or not I was "enjoying" the time we were spending at her place.
Notice how I'm leaving the father out of the picture? He was surprisingly a really personable guy, having resigned himself years ago.

What finally caused me to stop coming to his house? One afternoon his mom shouted that she wanted a Filet-O-Fish and had him drive to go pick one up. I went along with as a passenger to observe his driving, and ended up getting into an accident. It was nothing big, he just let someone back into his car and smash the entire front of it because he failed to sound the horn in time.
I barely had enough time to slink away from the car and his shouts of "YOU BIG STINKER" to the other motorist before the police came to file a crash report. Sometimes you really have to appreciate the colorful, frustrating little lives some of these guys lead.

I've told stories on here before about chris-like individuals I know, so I thought I'd share one I've never written up before.

This story isn't about an individual, it's about the time I worked for the most bizarre company I've ever worked for, Orange the UK mobile phone provider in the call centre at Darlington.

I thought it was going to be a pretty normal job, answer phones, upgrade customers mobiles, renew contracts, that kind of thing. From the first day there, I knew it was utterly bizarre.

The owner of Orange was this feng shui nut, so every building on site had 7 gold coins buried beneath it. There was a fish tank in the entrance of every building with one black goldfish, if the black goldfish died, the building had to be evacuated until a replacement was brought in. The building across the road was a big circular old car dealership and they tried to buy the building to knock it down because apparently, it was a big coiled snake ready to attack Orange... I wish I was making this up. So because of the big snake building, every window in the building had little elephant ornaments on the window sill facing outwards to protect us from the snake building, and all the buildings that were facing it had huge elephant statues in the entrance way as well, just in case.

The people who worked there fell into two categories, insane or depressed, the insane people didn't notice how miserable they made it for the depressed people. At every lunch break, you'd see at least ten people get into their cars to smoke a joint.

I met this guy who was pretty cool, he managed a rock band in his spare time and gave me a free CD of theirs one time so I could give them a listen, he was one of the depressed people. He had no legs and walked on prosthetics and was quite proud of the fact that he'd taught himself to walk without crutches.

He was friends with this cool goth chick, who was also one of the depressed people and ended up quitting because her team bullied her so badly. She used to drive to work on a motorbike and would wear her gear over the top of her work clothes (we had to wear suits) except for the motorcycle boots which she left on because she had no room to bring a spare pair of shoes on the bike. Her team leader was the one who bullied her the most, he chewed her out in front of the entire floor for wearing the boots, even though the floor manager had said that it was ok for her to wear them, he also reduced her to tears in front of everyone in the break room by shouting out in front of everyone that she stank of sweat - it wasn't sweat, it was oil from the bike and I thought it smelled ok. One time I saw her in the smoking room as one of her team if she could lend a cigarette until lunch time when she went to the shop to buy some, the guy pocketed his packet and said he only brought in enough for himself for the whole day, then left. She'd been there for 9 months, but her team leader wouldn't take her off probationary period. When her bike got stolen and burnt out, two of her team members lived in the same town and even though she offered them petrol money, flat out refused to give her a lift to work so she ended up having to get the train and two buses to get there everyday. The team would go out once a month for team meals, but when she asked if she could come, they would always say no. I found most of this out after she left as I was on a slightly different shift to her so we never got chance much to talk at work other than a quick five minute catch up now and then.

The insane side was completely insane. No question about it. There was this guy called Ian who creeped every one out. He had a girlfriend of ten years who was his age (early to mid 40's), he also had a 18 year old girlfriend who lived in the next town who he wanted to move in but, his first girlfriend hated her because she was younger than her daughter. He'd sit in the break room with these printed out pages from S&M websites and talk loudly on the phone about arranging fetish nights, in a way that was obvious he wanted everyone to know about it. He would sit at his desk and rock back and forth on his chair like he was humping the desk and would hum one note through his nose continuously, whenever he wasn't on a call. He came in one day with a scruffy beard and an unironed shirt and looking generally bedraggled and he declared that his older girlfriend had left him, but he didn't care because now he could move his young girlfriend in and they could start looking for another person for their relationship.

Once there was a bomb threat (usually there was one every couple of weeks) and we were all stood in the car park for ages, before the police turned up and then arrested one of the guys from upgrades as he'd called it in on his break because he wanted the afternoon off to go to the pub.

There was this Indian guy who flipped out and started throwing chairs and computer monitors across the floor because 3 out of 5 callers would start getting really abusive because they thought they were dealing with an Indian call centre and one day he just couldn't take it anymore and flipped. We found out later that he'd had some sort of mental health issues and had come off his medication, which played into it a lot.

There was a girl who worked there who had extreme OCD and every tried to be nice to her, but she drove everyone crazy. Whenever she would leave the floor to go to the toiler, she'd had to flip the light switches for the whole floor on and off five times and do it with every light switch she passed on the way to the toilet. Because all the doors worked on swipe cards and there was no handle to turn, she would touch the door five times instead which was a bit of a nightmare if you got stuck behind her on your way to the loo, because if you interrupted the ritual, you'd have to start again. She would come into work an hour early and walk down any team row that she could see from her desk and straighten up everyone's things while they were on calls, they tried to get her to stop because it was interrupting everyone's work while she was doing it and she'd ask customers to hold and then run off to someone's desk to put a sweet wrapper in the bin or put a water cup on top of a make shift coaster, but she'd start twitching and facial ticking and generally freaking out when she tried to hold it in so they just let her carry on, instead of sending her to see a doctor, as everyone had BUPA for working there.

There are other stories too, but I'll save them for another time.

>>68526

That all sounds really depressing. It makes me think of a psychological movie with monotone colors and very little music, just people being fucked up and depressed.

>>68529
It could actually make a good book. I know I want to read more of the stories from there, just for the sheer premise of insanity.

>>68526
Lol @ Bomb Threat Guy. I remember back in high school somebody would do that at least once a month, usually when there was a big test.

Also, ever find out who stole Sad Goth Chick's motorcycle? It was one of the other employees, wasn't it?

>>68526
All that feng-shui stuff...did the company owner made you employees learn it by force or do you just know about the matter?

I went to high school with an aspie who was obsessed with The Simpsons. This kid was in special ed but for some reason our school let special ed kids take elective classes with everyone else.

I had a class with him once and out of nowhere, while the teacher was at the front of the room talking, he would stand up and start screaming random quotes from The Simpsons. When everyone was working on an assignment, he would do the same thing. I guess he just did this shit when some random line popped into his head. It happened so often that the teacher just started ignoring him. Sometimes he would try to do the lines in the voices of the characters and naturally he sounded nothing like them. Imagine Chris' Donald Duck impersonation. It was that bad.

If you went up to him and said, "The Simpsons suck." or "Southpark is better than The Simpsons." he would kind of lower his head, point his finger at you and start screaming.

One time someone printed a pic of Cartman and taped it to the cover of his book and he literally tore the cover off the book and started ripping out the pages. He threw the book across the room and the teacher had to push the "panic" button. About 30 secs later the school cop and about 4 of the male teachers showed up and had to physically get him out of the classroom.

Sadly I never had another class with him after this. I later talked to a girl who went to middle school with him. She said back then he had gotten suspended for whipping out his dick in front of everyone in gym.

I expect to see this guy on the news someday.

>>68534
>>68526
Off topic but kind of funny: There was a bomb threat at my high school once when someone found a note in their locker that said "There's a bomb in my pants."

The guy meant to give it to his girlfriend. We were evacuated from the building for 2 hours because of a poor innuendo.

>he would kind of lower his head, point his finger at you and start screaming.

lol

There's a room full of tards in my school. They all group together there at lunch time to avoid spending time with the rest of the school. Being retards, they do retarded things. They get angry and throw chairs, some of them get worked up by name calling, you can sometimes see them crying in the corridor over something and they often get into fights. No specific stories really, just people with mental disabilities struggling with life. Hilarious, right?

>>68550

Where the fuck do you think you are exactly? You know why this board exists, right?

This isn't much of a funny story but more of a creepy one..

In my late elementary school and middle school years I had to wear a back brace. How this usually worked was I would store it in the nurses room, and put it on after gym or recess depending on what I had to do that day.

Well, sometimes the time I had to change into it fell into the special ed. kids' lunch period. There was one kid who was wheelchair bound and who they swore to me multiple times was blind- and they had me change in front of him. Changing into my back brace meant stripping down pretty much to my underwear and bra, so it was uncomfortable, but I put up with it because I had to. At first I believed them, the kid would largely just sit there and stare off into space. But as it began to happen more and more often, he'd look directly at me and grin and giggle, once he even touched me, though the nurse insisted it must have just been a random occurrence.

Whether or not he really could see, I don't know. The school was pretty ghetto and I wouldn't put it past them to lie about something like that, since they lied about numerous assault incidences to save their own skins.

I know its not the kids fault... but god it was a creepy time in my life.

>>68558

why didn't you just insist they take him out. wat. i think you liked it you sick fuck.

>>68563
I tried to but they just told me again and again he was blind. And no, I didn't like it. It was really kinda unsettling.

>>68529
>>68531

I've got about a million stories from working there, I probably could write a book about it, but Orange would probably have me killed if I tried to publish it, lol. I'll probably recount a couple more later.

>>68534
No, it was in her family's garage and some teenagers literally folded the door open and took it for a joy ride before they burnt it out so it wasn't to do with her horrible co-workers. Though, forgot to mention it in my original post, she did get knocked off her bike once by them, I had completely forgotten about it till today, the reminiscing brought it back. This was just before she quit, I'm recounting the first part from her memory of it, but I was there for the second part.

There's a small roundabout just as you leave the car park and as you pull out. She'd just started going around as you're supposed to, but because it's a mini roundabout, some people ignore it and just drive straight over, someone the back of her bike and it went skidding across the road, the bike was up on the pavement and she was on laying on the road. Her team worked the 6am-6pm shifts, my team was on the 9am-9pm shifts, so she knew, but could never prove that it must have been someone from her team that hit her and drove on because there was no other shift finishing that time on that day, there might have been the odd one or two cars leaving with people on breaks, but the way her team had treat her made it seem unlikely. By sheer coincidence, I was late going for my last break of the day because I'd been dealing with a particularly difficult customer on the phone for an hour and all my team had already been and come back for their breaks, so when I went for mine it was about quarter past six and I'd planned to quickly drive to the nearby Morrisons and grab some fags because I was the only menthol smoker on my team and I can't bare the taste of Lambert & Butler. I saw her lying on the ground just as I started pulling out of the car park, she could have only been there a minute or two so I rang an ambulance and turned her bike off, got her mobile and called her parents too, she was totally fine, luckily. The knock on the ground has just shocked her so much she literally couldn't move, they insisted on taking her to the hospital to be checked out though she was insisting she was fine and even had an argument with the hospital staff because they wanted to cut off her bike pants and she wouldn't let them because they were expensive. The next day her team didn't even ask if she was ok and she'd pretty much made her mind up at that point that one of them had probably done it to scare her and were too ashamed to admit it. I still see her every now and then, (not as often as I'd like) she's a care worker/part time barmaid now, not quite as goth as she was when she was younger, but still really cool. I could write a book about her, she had what she calls 'a John Hughes experience' where she met this girl online who totally changed her life and taught her how to stand up for herself, they're best friends now and every few months go off on random adventures.

>>68539

The Feng Shui stuff was part of the orientation into the company. You had to learn about it so that if you saw the black goldfish die you could tell someone or if you saw an elephant out of place you could put it back in the right position. There were areas marked on the floor with tape where the bins would go and if you moved the bin you would get in loads of trouble because it HAD to be in a certain place. In the main building, where they took visitors, they were fastened to the floor so they couldn't be moved.

>I probably could write a book about it, but Orange would probably have me killed if I tried to publish it
Surely there's some kind of standard bullshit you can pull with changing names and such.

>>68573

You don't have to say you were working at Orange, generic unnamed call centre works, make a few name changes for the people and you're golden.

I had that guy in my group recently. He would ask about every.fucking.single.thing, like interrupting lessons to ask 'what's my grade','where do we do that', 'how do we do that', every fucking simplest thing and that was still pretty normal. Later that day, he'd start interrupting to laugh loudly and obnoxiously at any joke or to tell the instructor about his parents giving him meds and asking if he should kill them. Mind you, it's fucking university.

I'm getting the stink of creative writing bullshit in here. There are three long posts concerning bizarre behavior and even bizarre work culture above. All in the same writing style. I doubt anyone has personally experienced all of the above without embellishment. Having said that:

ITT: Things regarding mental disability you imagine might happen.

Not a very interesting story, but I feel like I need to tell about this guy to someone.

So, there was this one guy in my class from 6th to 9th grade. If you ever played the game called Bully, you know that crazy guy called Gary in it? That's pretty much how this guy I knew looked and acted. There was only one strange thing about how he looked physically, his other foot was couple of sizes smaller and the leg was shorter. He told us it was because of some mistake that happened at the hospital when he was a baby. The hospital had to pay his parents tons of money because of it, which made this guy pretty rich and spoiled.

He was a racist. A big one. We had this one adopted Columbian girl who, apparently to him, was a nigger. Never mind that she had lived her whole life in the land of ice and cold where we lived, so she was just as pale as the rest of us. He'd to the Nazi salute all the time, trying to be funny or something. He'd keep saying stupid shit all the time, again, trying to be funny. Too bad he was obnoxious as fuck, everyone trying to be his friend would soon notice how annoying and just... horrible he was. He treated everyone like shit. It's not wonder no one wanted to be his friend, but he'd keep trying, never changing the way he acted even though people told him he's acting like an asshole. During classes he would just sleep or bother the teachers if he felt like it. Usually in a not so nice way. While our class wasn't made of little angels who always were quiet and did their work, even we couldn't stand that. It was a surprise they didn't throw him out of the school, but he did end up at some special ed class at some point because he didn't do any work. I have no idea how, but he did get out of the school when we did.

I don't know where he is now or what he's doing. Maybe he's rich enough that he doesn't need to do any work, he always acted like he had all the money in the world. I have a feeling he couldn't possibly get into any other school or get any work if he acts the way he did back then, though.

>>68599

Well two of the long posts are mine and both concern the same subject, but having read the other long posts I don't think that they're that similarly written at all. You can choose to believe it or not, but I can only attest to the authenticity of my own posts. I haven't embellished upon anything in my posts, all I've done is omitted names.

I might do a search later, see if there's some ex-call centre workers forum, see if I can find any similar stories, I can't be the only person who thought the Feng Shui stuff was weird.

When I was a kid, I went to Sunday School often. We had the anti-violent game discussion one morning. There was a kid there who wouldn't play violent video games, especially the SNES "Doom" game. He said that it gave him nightmares. He also behaved like a huge sperg in general and wore sweatpants and Velcro shoes. I haven't seen him since Sunday School, but I sometimes wonder what he's up to now.

I also briefly knew this family that lived in this little house that they rented. There were three children, two were female and one was male. They had trouble not saying things that were embarrassing, and taking criticism. One day, the youngest girl came on the bus and smelled just like raw fish. You could smell her if you sat even a seat away. The bus driver handled it pretty well, and told her to talk to her mother about her hygiene.

I went there later with my mom, because we sometimes checked out ruined homes together. The house was in pretty terrible shape, and there was stray garbage everywhere. It was pretty small for a family of four to live in.

I also recently encountered this crazy woman who is just embarrassing when she's drunk. She was 29, and could not pack her own apartment and move it on her own. She tagged along with a friend of mine to a small party that we were having. She proceeded to get really drunk and hit on every single person present, male or female. I had to kick her out at the end of the night when she tried to cuddle with this sleeping guy that had a girlfriend. She also tried to get me to do her college homework at various points in the night. She also told me some crazy things about her life, like how she was molested or beaten by various people.

>>68573
Wow, what a bunch of bastards.

Glad that girl got a happy ending, at least. She and her friend sound fucking d'aww. I'd love to read about their adventures. Either of them have a blog or anything?

>>68814
This woman... she didn't happen to have pale skin, short red hair & teeth like Butt-Head, did she?

>>68879

No, she had blonde hair and her face looked vaguely like Lueanne's from King Of The Hill. She was also short.

>>68893
Drunk, annoying, and hitting on everyone in sight? You should have sodomized her anally and then denied it.

And her name isn't Lynn, is it? Because if so, my mind = blown...

>>68899

No, her name wasn't Lynn. If I did manage to sodomize her, then I'd never get rid of her. I'm also not desperate enough to poke every crazy skeezer that I meet.

I knew this kid in kindergarten who was a maniac. He would chase girls at recess, then trap them with his coat when he caught them. He was always making lewd gestures directed at other students, and constantly disobeyed the teachers. He trapped me at recess once, but he let me go when I begged him to. I also saw him on another occassion trying to touch other kids with a broom that he pretended was his dick. I didn't see him again until fourth grade where he was attempting to climb a fence surrounding the basketball court while the principal tried to coax him down.

I also knew this girl in my High School Art class that drew anthromorphic animals a lot. One of the pictures was of a chained up muscular tiger. It was PG, but it was still strange. This was before I knew what furries were. I was a freshman at that time, and I wasn't a "digital native".

>>68904

Groping around ages 4 or 5 is somewhat normal for a young boy especially if there aren't many females in his life. When I used to spend the night at my friend's house, her little step brother would grope both me and her. He didn't seem to know it was wrong.
However, the broom thing kind of sounds like he'd been molested, because I've never known a small child to do that.

>>68905

I never witnessed him groping anyone, he just harassed people indirectly.

>>68905
You let a 4 year old grope you? That's fucked up.

>>68909

No, I didn't let him, he was just really incessant about it. There's a difference between letting and not being able to stop something from happening. He'd keep doing it, even when I told him not to.

>>68911

Yeah, but you didn't stop him, either. What the fuck.

>>68912

I'd take his hands of me, and tell him to stop. I couldn't do much of anything else, could I? One girl actually hit him, though she was kind of a nut job herself.

>>68913

*off of

>>68913
Ah, it's no point arguing with 'em. Imageboards are a "bitches deserve it" kinda place.

>>68917

Yeah, that's true. I'm still getting used to internet anonymity.

>>68918
It's a bit like in those science fiction stories where people can read minds & then go crazy because everybody's so horrible inside, isn't it?

>>68920

It actually is. I never thought of it that way, but now that you mention it..
Anonymous hasn't given me much trouble though, aside from the guys that ruin the thread with "LOL I TROLL YOU".

I was actually reminded of something. This was also a early highschool/late middle school thing. There was a boy I knew who was a lot like Chris. He didn't take care of himself, was dreadfully overweight, and smelled of shit. According to my bros, he actually wore adult diapers instead of underwear, which would probably explain the smell.
He'd come up to me and scream things of a sexual nature and grab my sides, which would make me freak out as he was a fucking weirdo.
He would also physically push and slap me. I'm relatively small in stature, and not very fit, so these pushes would send me jolting in the direction he'd push me. I felt sorry for him and would still kind of hang out with him, but he was still horrible company. In 8th grade, he hurt his leg during football practice, and it had to be put in a brace. He would hike his pantleg up to his groin so he could show everybody. He also walked with an exaggerated limp.

>>68918
You go on /cwc/ and aren't used to spergy retards?

>>68923

I'm a newfag. I've been here a week.

>>68924

You should know that nobody respects tripfags or namefags.

>>68955

I figured, but it saves from being called a hypocrite later on by a confused anon.

I am Dreadful, killer of threads!
..
Apparently.

>>69012
Yeah, what a disaster that would be. Also, if you want a goddamn signature, go back to DA.

I was in a special ed class for five years of my life. I have plenty of crazy stories.

There was an autistic guy I went to high school with who was prone to throwing tantrums over the most trivial bullshit. His teeth and gums were always showing and he constantly drooled on himself. Because of this, he had a very distinct, whiny voice. He also never bathed and smelled like old crumbled bleu cheese.


He would throw little shit fits over the most ridiculous shit. Most of the time he kept himself under control but there was the rare occasion where he would throw things and scream at the top of his lungs. One time he SCREAMED at a teacher for fast forwarding through the commercials on a VHS tape they were watching.



There was also an overweight orthodox jewish kid whose parents were very strict as to what he was allowed to watch. Anything remotely violent or profane traumatized him. He would have to leave the room whenever we were watching something that wasn't child friendly.



There was another kid who was obsessed with Power Rangers. If he got frustrated in the middle of a lesson he would scream "I DON'T WANNA DO THIS, I WANNA GO HOME AND WATCH POWER RANGERS!!!!"

Another guy I knew who was a good friend of mine through high school and was considerably less retarded then the other three I mentioned, but he still had a looong ways to go and was an easy target for bullies. He had some form of tourettes syndrome which caused him to snort and make involuntary sounds in the middle of a lesson. He also had a stuttering problem which made him sound like Porky Pig.

He also had some pretty crazy fetishes. His DeviantART favorites page was full of inflation art and drawings of pregnant anime girls. Once while my friends were looking through his favorites for shits and giggles we came across a picture of a naked "Elephant Girl" (like a catgirl but with elephant features). We never let him live that down.

Last I heard he was expelled from college for jacking off in public.

>>69041

Stop ruining the thread with trivialities.

>>69045

Reminds me of the special ed kids I had to sit with during a child development class.
They weren't too socially inept and were actually relatively okay, but they all stank horribly, except for one girl who didn't stink but had dreadfully dirty hair and clothes. What is it with spergs and lack of basic hygiene? Is it just that they don't realize how gross it is to everyone else?

>>69049

Aw, you got mad.

>>69045
There were also some kids I went to middle school with that I left out. The first one that comes to mind...let's call him John. John seemed like a typical kid with Asperger's at first. He loved trains, and sirens and bells, for some reason. He also had Tourettes, and his tic was scrunching his hands together.


Like most kids I've mentioned, John had a very short fuse and was prone to throwing childish temper tantrums. But John had them at least once a day. It would often lead him to him going into crazy tangents about "building a biological weapon and blowing up the school". Hell, on the FIRST DAY he called the cafeteria lady a whore just because they ran out of pizza.
One day we were working on a project in the computer lab and John got into a very heated discussion with his Aide (teachers assistants that help special needs students, especially tantrum-prone students like John). It ended with him storming out of the room and running across the hallway screaming "FUCK! SHIT! DILDOS!"

One of the funniest days of my life.

>>69065

>>a very heated discussion with his Aide

About what?

>>69162
My memory escapes me but I'm sure it was something along the lines of "I DON'T WANNA DO THIS THIS IS RETARDED"

There was another kid named Matt who was just..full on assburgers. He would come to class with his sweatpants pulled up to his stomach, narrating his life as if he was a news reporter.
Matt didn't have an indoor voice. Remember that video on YouTube of the autistic guy screaming about EARTHQUAKES IN CALIFORNIA? It was kind of like that.



On a whim I decided to google his name to see what happened to him and found his YouTube page.
All of his favorites are videos of women scuba diving. I thought "okay, so he's got a crazy fetish, no big deal." but then I read the comments..
"what is her aim screan name?"

"where does she live and does she haev an aim scren name?"

"what is her AIM?"

On every video like a fucking stalker. Puberty hit this kid like a sack of bricks.

At my secondary school, there was a massive difference in fees betweeen the "day pupils" (that is, people who just go into school every day normally) and boarders. Because of this, the boarders were 100% rich foreigners. Now, most of them were pretty normal. However, there were a couple of standouts...

One guy in my year... let's call him Farid, cause I can't remember his name. I'm not actually sure if what he did was funny or sad. Despite having been born and raised in England, his family were millionares from Pakistan or somewhere like that. They were so rich that Farid would never have to work a day in his life, and he knew that. He would skip every class, and when forced to go he would sit there with his arms crossed listening to his iPod for about 10 minutes until he got bored, then walk out. The school couldn't really discipline him - if given detention or something similar he would just not show up, and they couldn't suspend or expel him because, being a private school, they relied quite a bit on individual donations, and they needed his parents' money.

Farid himself was very short - maybe 5"4 at the age of 16 - and almost perfectly spherical. He was loud and obnoxious, and convinced that he was popular and that everybody liked him. In actuality, everyone always just called him up when they wanted to go into town because he liked to flash his cash - if they wanted anything he'd buy it for them. Same with girls - convinced he was some kind of paki adonis, he'd flirt with absolutely everybody. No girl ever went anywhere alone with him because of how creepy he was, but plenty would toss him a quick flirt in exchange for the things he would buy them. From this he became convinced that he was a playboy (I don't think he ever so much as held hands with a girl in his life) and would go on and on about how all the "bitches wanted him".

Towards the end of his two GCSE years at my school, Farid got increasingly more desperate and attention-seeking - he was so infuriating that even the money he threw at people for hanging out with him wasn't enough, and barely anyone so much as talked to him anymore, save for telling him to shut up. Instead of just walking out of lessons that he found boring, he would try to disrupt them as much as possible - once in a maths class (the lowest set, of course) he got up halfway through a lesson, called the teacher a cunt and threw his chair through the window.

This was actually the part where Farid stopped being annoying and just started being hilarious. He would threaten to rape female teachers, and pretend to flip out and smash things on a regular basis. The funniest part of all was that after he did these things he'd start laughing and look around waiting for others to reciprocate. He honestly didn't seem to understand that no one was laughing because of how much of a card he was - it was how pathetic he was.

In the end he left school with I think two GCSEs (most people, and certainly those at a school like mine get 9-11 GCSEs) and is currently living in a mansion somewhere in the middle east, so I guess the moral of the story is don't try and be a lazy, dumb sack of shit and your life will still be awesome?

I worked at the movie theater with this girl named Martha a few years back. She had emotional epilepsy, which means she would have a seizure if she was really really upset. That wouldn't be too bad, except she got super upset at situations as small as a customer swearing (and not even directly at her). One time a bunch of us were on our breaks in the staff room. We started talking about Beowulf, which had just hit theaters, and someone wondered allowed if Beowulf would be naked in the video game like he was in the movie, and we all laughed and moved on to other topics of conversation. We didn't think Martha was even listening to the conversation because she was busy playing pokemon on her ds, but she stood up and left after we talked about Beowulf. We didn't think anything of it because we didn't think we were talking about anything that would upset her. We thought she'd just left to get a burger or something. It turns out she told the manager that we were talking about pornography so she was crying in the office, and we all got in a lot of trouble.
I don't know if she liked the attention or what, but she started going to the back room where we kept the extra vats of melted butter and the pop towers and the extra hot dog buns etc etc etc, so we went back there a lot. She would start crying in the back room, and shout at anyone who went in there, which made our jobs really difficult, and the managers were having trouble dealing with the situation. They wanted to fire her, but were afraid that they would accuse them of firing her for her disability. They ended up firing her anyway, and now she works at walmart.
The worst part about her seizures was that she always peed, and we were the ones who had to clean it up. It sucked.
You could also tell that her seizures were really effecting her mentally. She walked a bit funny and spoke realllly sloowww and monotonous with weird emphasis on words. It's hard to explain without actually hearing it. Like, imagine a female Eeyore doing a stereotypical Canadian accent.
We all kind of thought she was stupid, but one day she let us read this book of poems she was writing, and they were phenomenal. They were all about Jesus and Pokemon though.

>>69498
You know, I normally hate gold-digging bitches with a passion, but I can honestly say that fat fuck deserved it.

I hope he gets killed in one of those uprisings they've been having over there. He's probably pissed off a ton of people there, too & I bet somebody's just looking for an excuse.

>>69499
She sounds like kind of a bitch, but also kind of d'aww.

Is there anywhere I could see more of her?

>In the end he left school with I think two GCSEs (most people, and certainly those at a school like mine get 9-11 GCSEs) and is currently living in a mansion somewhere in the middle east, so I guess the moral of the story is don't try and be a lazy, dumb sack of shit and your life will still be awesome?
The moral of the story is "be born to rich parents".

But hey, maybe he still hates himself.

>I worked at the movie theater with this girl named Martha a few years back. She had emotional epilepsy, which means she would have a seizure if she was really really upset. That wouldn't be too bad, except she got super upset at situations as small as a customer swearing (and not even directly at her).
It would make sense for her defect to encourage her to become more resilient and makes no sense at all for her to be so sensitive.

Humans often don't make sense, but I wonder how this one works? Why was she so unable to control her problem?

>>69513

The fear of the problem probably fed right back into it.

Through the grades of 4-6 I had the pleasure of being in the class of a special needs child who I'll name Michael.

Michael loved to bowl. So much so that it's mere mention would send him into an unstoppable frenzy of screaming that went on for hours every time. It always started with him repeating the word over and over, as if he was confused as to why he was not currently involved in the activity. What always followed this was a rapid emotional meltdown so profound he needed to be physically restrained by multiple teachers and sent home. Bowling wasn't his only trigger. Mention The Lion King, cinnamon, "Hometime", finished, or bus and he'd drop his pants, flip his shirt over his head and run through the halls laughing. His paraprofessional outlined these triggers to the class in a presentation held at the beginning of each year, specifically emphasizing the importance of not mentioning them in his presence for our own safety and his.

We fucked with him at every possible opportunity. It was unusual for a week to pass without a day ending with his aide in tears and he pinned to the floor by staff members shouting about whatever trigger we whispered to him earlier.

We were heartless bastards. However, the opportunities presented by his disability were too awesome to not exploit. The class was frequently lectured regarding this the aide became increasingly emotionally unstable throughout the years. Despite this, we continued until he finally had a massive seizure, onset likely by a tantrum, and could no longer attend public school. I regret nothing.

>>69671
You only did what any of us would do in your place.

>>69671
I realize as I laugh aloud that we're ALL heartless bastards.

>>69680

I think that it's in human nature to ostracize those that are freakishly different. We share most of our chromosomes with apes, who are also noted for such cruelty.

In England I remember seeing a black teenager at the bowling alley, screaming her head off whilst her aides (two old white women) were trying to help her put the ball down the slide that is supposed to be for little kids. I think she got taken out pretty soon after, and I still don't have a fucking clue what it was about. She might have been possessed.

>>69682
It's hardly cruel. We've adapted to stay away from people who look or act like they're sick. This keeps whatever they have from spreading. It's all eminently practical.

>>69502

I managed to find her on Facebook, but I don't want her to be trolled or anything. Just showing her pics. She has more facebook friends than me. ;__;
https://www.facebook.com/martha.offer?sk=photos

>>69513

I'm not sure why it happened, and I don't think she did too. I have pain-induced epilepsy so we had a couple conversations about seizures and stuff when we were on our breaks. She said she wasn't sure why it happened but that she was working with doctors to try to figure it out. Last time I saw her at walmart her hair was really short because she had it shaved for brain surgery. I had to remind her who I was, I don't know if that's because of the surgery or not but she knew me every other time I had gone to walmart. In fact about 6 months before this I had seen her at walmart (I don't go too often) and she was talking about how the next time I'd see her she would be bald because of the surgery. I didn't ask her about her surgery or her seizures though because she kind of seemed uncomfortable with someone she didn't know acting like they knew her.

>>69735
I know we're supposed to be heartless bastards on here, but that's really sad, losing all her memories like that. That poor woman. I hope improving her epilepsy was worth it for her.

Thanks for letting me see her. That's not a very good picture of her on there (I doubt anybody has the heart to tell her), but I still think she's sorta cute.

>>69737

She's adorable in a younger sibling kind of way. She looked like she does in her pictures allll the time. She had a very strange smile and laugh.

>>69738
D'aww.

I'd like to get to know her, but I'd probably just freak her out.

I don't get it, why do you like her? She sounds like your typical bi-polar psycho bitch, like any of my ex gfs. I have such a hatred of chicks like that, god damn. The thing where she got them in trouble pissed me off. What is "daww" about that?

>>69782
Just more proof that if Chris were female, people would just think that she is "adorable"

It's disturbing how so many neckbeards find females with autism cute and "adorable". They only find them adorable because they'd be the weak(er), submissive ones in the relationship. It's similar to how neckbeards also have Asian fetishes, because Asian women are assumed to be submissive.

>>69782
Obvious question: Why do you date psycho bitches you hate? Stick not your dick in the crazy, nor let the crazy stick its dick in you.

>>69788
>Stick not your dick in the crazy, nor let the crazy stick its dick in you.

I will make that my new motto.

>>69738
You think THAT'S adorable?

>>69790

Like a child, yes. That's what I meant when I said 'in a younger sibling kind of way'. They might have snot hanging from their nose and their pants on backwards, but I'd still consider them adorable. It's not like I want to do her or anything.

>>69794
She's not adorable in any sense of the word. I can somehow smell her just by looking at her pic.

>>69796

I dunno, I worked with her for over 2 years. When you're around someone that long your grow attached to them. I mean, I liked her enough that I was sad when she couldn't remember me.

>>69788

Do you have any dating experience? It happens during the relationship, not before.

jesus christ, hawkeye is an unbearable faggot. definitely worse than that girl.

>>69799
do you have any life experience? you don't have to date someone to fuck them.

>>69801
why?

>>69807

What the hell does that have to do with anything?

>>69810

Because I'm a namefag. Haters gonna hate.

I just remembered this guy that I saw downtown. He was dressed like a typical sperg. He appeared to have trouble with the crossing light, and was afraid to cross because the light would change too quickly. He would only cross if the "little man" indicator was present, even if there were no cars. I feel bad for not helping the poor guy out.

I also a card style drinking game with an acquaintance who I'm sure had aspergers. I was pretty drunk, so I was having trouble understanding what was going on. He kept getting irritated if I put the wrong cards down accidentally, or if I wasn't paying attention and didn't realize that it was my turn, which I only did a few times. Towards the end of the game, he accused me of taking another player's stack of cards when the dealer had miscalculated. I used to be some-what sympathetic towards people with aspergers until then. They're irritating to be around because of their anal retentiveness. The fact that they can't interpret people's emotions makes them even more irritating because they never think to apologize if they're bieng rude. Fuck them.

There's a guy in my hometown that I met when I was in kindergarten. He had a weird lisp and was always annoying people during band practice and hugging his guy friends. He also smelled kind of funky, and when someone asked about it, he yelled, "I take a bath once a week!" as if that was a lot. I believe that he must have had Asperger's. His whole family was like that -- no social awareness.

After high school, he lived in his car for a while and got scammed a few times while looking for work. At one point, he was thrown out by people who had let him stay because he confronted them about smelling pot smoke. I know all of this because he spends a lot of time updating his Facebook with details of his miserable life. Last thing I heard, he got fired from his call center job for poor attendance. He actually posted this on his Facebook and his equally disfunctional friends sympathized (one said that she was about to get fired for not showing up, too).

You can watch him in a hilarious Judge Alex appearance: http://www.facebook.com/video/video.php?v=109570739071315

He actually posted it to his Facebook wall thinking that it made him look good! His fiancee is equally dumb and ugly. They are no longer together.

I knew a guy who had anger management problems and when he was pissed, he spazzed out. He'd break windows, attack anyone who came near him and push down bookcases.

He was worth a lot of lulz.

I know this guy named BF "Hawkeye" Pierce. Total Sperg.

>>75187
icwutudidthere.jpeg

there's only one i can think of, from when i went to highschool in a backwoods rural redneck shithole (such areas seem to be tard spawning grounds if ruckersville is any indication). how do i even describe this guy? he was probably the scrawniest person i've ever seen, not much over 5 feet tall, with a disfiguring case of acne and a travesty of a pubestache. he was unpleasant as hell so i never talked to him myself, but from what i remember, he farted in class and promised everyone around him it wouldnt stink, got laughed at because of a hilarious speech impediment, called his mother a whore on a regular basis, loved his PS2 like chris loves his PS3, had a lifelong DBZ addiction including some wonderful screen printed goku t-shirts, called people he didnt like bakas, and i heard he once shot paintballs from a tree on halloween night just for shits and giggles apparently. and to top it all off, he had some fucking jewhating streak, going as far as to call them 'penny pinchers' out loud in class. there was this other guy but he was only notable for popping a boner during phys ed sit-ups and making a creepy furfagesque powerpoint slideshow about dragons.

pic found on his myspace that people would sometimes troll.

>>75235
>making a creepy furfagesque powerpoint slideshow about dragons
>furfagesque powerpoint slideshow about dragons
>dragons
FYIAD

>>69470
http://www.youtube.com/user/mattkamper

>>75262
yeah, that's the guy. Doesn't really matter because he hasn't logged on in ages and he already got trolled enough anyway

A few years ago I dated a girl who was friends with a sperg. It goes without saying that said sperg had an extremely unhealthy attraction to her (think Chris and Meghan), and had absolutely no impulse control. Guess what, he didn't like me at all. Big surprise, right?

When I first started dating her she'd come over to my apartment with a group of our mutual friends and he'd tag along. Being a sperg he had no social ability, so he'd just sit on my couch giving me the stink eye and muttering to himself. At first I tried to accept him for the unique disabled snowflake he was and at least be somewhat friendly. The problem was that I sincerely didn't give a fuck, so I'd usually end up ignoring him (which really pissed him off). This in turn annoyed my girlfriend, who felt I needed to be more sympathetic. It was great.

Shit finally reached the breaking point one night when I kicked everyone out as I had to get up early. At this point the girlfriend had pretty much moved into my place and was spending the night. Naturally, Cap'n Spergo began to have a little melt down when I told him that it was time to go. This was awkward because I couldn't really physically do anything as he had about 75 pounds of fat on me. What made it worse was that the goddamn woman asked me to go to bed so that she could take care of it. By this point I didn't give much of a fuck. I was pissed that she was coddling the little shit, but I also needed sleep.

Not fifteen minutes later I hear her yell something to the extent of 'that crossed the line!'. Naturally I'm up, awake, and yelling at the fucker to get out of my place before I called the cops.

At this point he goes full retarded on me, and starts screaming about how I was a horrible person (which is not untrue), and how I took away his best friend. He also went on about how I needed to accept him and his autism because he was speshul. Or something like that, I'm kind of paraphrasing, but that was the point.

The girlfriend finally gets a clue and tells him that shit doesn't work that way and he's a fucking creep. I may as well mention now that she's not the brightest ever. So finally the sperg leaves right as the neighbors start getting pissed off.

Naturally, I was curious as to why she freaked out at him. Apparently he'd moved in to give her a hug goodnight and then put his hand on her crotch. As he did this he'd started to lick her ear, or something like that. I was not particularly sympathetic as she sat there and moaned about how he'd violated her trust. It took a lot of willpower not to point out to her that spergs and hormones are a trainwreck of social retardation and rape.

While we were dating, I'd frequently ask said chick why she allowed the fucker to hang around. She always claimed that he was harmless, sweet, and that she was his only real friend. She also claimed that inviting him along to all our little gatherings helped him learn to socialize. Needless to say that after the groping incident, I really enjoyed reminding her of how very wrong she'd been.

I've got a few more stories about this particular sperg, but that's by far the most dramatic.

>>68526
This sounds like a David Lynch movie.

I can't remember if I've said this here before, but I used to work at a video store, and this smelly retarded guy who always came in asked if we had a video game called Ghostbusters: San Andreas.

>>77209
I used to work at a different video store and a retard who pushed carts at the nearby supermarket would come in and ask us if we had specific videos. They were usually things that had been on television and weren't even released on DVD. He wasn't really much of a bother, though.

>>77194

Wouldn't mind hearing some more.

>>77205

The only Lynch movie I've seen is Eraserhead, so I'm not really sure where you're coming from. But yeah, oversexed spergs are pretty surreal.

>>77254

I'm trying to think of a few more really good incidents, but they've all kinda blurred together. That first post I made was the one time when Spergo really went for the gold, so to speak.

Physically speaking, he was overweight but not morbidly obese. He wore thick framed glasses. He rarely showered or changed his clothes, so he had a very peculiar odor to him. It was a mixture of sweat and talcum powder. He routinely wore sweat pants that were a size too small and sweaters that were about two sizes too large. He had this vintage 80's neon ski jacket. The jacket would've been cool had it not been covered in food and soda stains. He also had this habit of blurting out asinine little comments that had no relation to anything going on around him. Think random access humor.

The curious thing about this particular sperg was that he wasn't obsessed with the vidya. He did have a thing for Disney animation, but he'd never talk about it with me. Frankly he didn't talk to me at all because I was a GIRLFRIEND STEALING JERK.

He had one hell of a sex drive though. He was a looker, not a grabber (until the night I told you guys about). I hated being around him in public because he'd shamelessly eye fuck women. Since I tried to avoid the little fucker I never saw it happen, but I guess he'd approach women in public and pull these incredibly cheesy pickup lines. I'd imagine it was a lot like Chris' dating ed bullshit.

There was one time when we went to see a live band and sperg came with us. This was somewhat interesting because he avoided the hell out of the bar scene. He never went into to see the band though, he just hung out on the patio acting like a creeper. The only really funny thing I remember is watching him practice karate on a telephone pole. Girlfriend also saw him pulling that shit and tried to get him to come over and hang out with us. When he came back we asked him what he'd been up to. Apparently he'd been practicing his 'moves'. I started laughing, and he got pissed. So did the girlfriend. Frankly I'm surprised that relationship lasted for as long as it did.

>>68573
Do it I would read that.
What you wrote sounded almost abstract its that strange.
Just fictionalise everything, names, brands, appearances (unless its necessary)

>>77285
My wife's (yeah, I'm old enough I have a wife) brother has never been diagnosed as being an autist or an aspie, but I certainly see shades of it there. He is a total creeper, and highly socially awkward.

He told my wife his password for his email one time and I was in earshot, so I decided that I would check out his facebook messages. The creeper was sending creepy ass messages to girls much younger than he should have, including his cousin, and everytime they would tell his 400 weirdo ass that they don't like him like that or to stop, he would either say "i was jk" or spaz out about how they don't like him cuz of his weight.

>>69671

This one is my favorite so far.

Not really a lolcow, but I couldn't believe the lengths people went to, to avoid contact with this blind guy I was on a train with once.
The train pulled into his stop (the same stop I was getting off at) and I got up and started towards the doors nearest to me.
I turned looked back in the carraige as I was waiting for the doors to open, to see this blind guy panicking struggling to find the door open button, obviously shitting himself that he's going to miss his stop and be on a train by himself to nowhere.
Thing was everyone else could see this too, but they just sat their awkwardly glancing around trying to pretend nothing was going on.
Anyway I sprinted as fast as I could down the length of the carraige and managed to get us both out before it set off again.
Needless to say I was pretty disgusted with people in general that day...

>>77306
shoulda grabbed him and did a cheesy austrian accent and said "come with me if you want to live"

>>77306

I would've ignored him, too. Blind people are creepy. I take it you've never been groped by one at work?

>>68573

It'd make for an interesting book I'd say, Orange telecoms is a pretty big business and I wouldn't say it was a well known fact the owner is so crazy. (I didn't know about the whole Feng Shui thing until I read your story)

( I also found http://www.telegraph.co.uk/finance/newsbysector/mediatechnologyandtelecoms/telecoms/6189984/Orange-owner-France-Telecom-to-act-after-23-suicides-by-st
aff.html )

>>77209
Sounds like you were the one getting pranked here, bro. Did he ask for Battletoads, too?

>>77379

I worked at the movie theater with this legally blind guy. Like, he needed a walking stick and his eyes were all glassy, but he could see shapes and read things if he held them right up to his eye. One time my girlfriend was with me at the theater and she had a shirt with some writing on it. He wanted to know what it said, but instead of asking he starting moving his head in really close to her titties. We were like NOPE THAT'S NOT ACCEPTABLE BRO.

>>77393

No this guy was definitely shit-your-pants retarded. One time he didn't return a game he had rented for three weeks, so I got a phone call from his caretaker confirming that he was retarded so that's why the game hadn't come back.
The only conclusion my coworkers and I came to about Ghostbusters: San Andreas was that he was around someone who was playing GTA: San Andreas, and when he was told what it was called he heard Ghostbusters instead of GTA. He was actually pretty obsessed with Ghostbusters. For about 2 months before the actual Ghostbusters game came out, every time he came in he'd ask if it was out yet and when it was coming out.

>>69671
Mine, too.

>as if he was confused as to why he was not currently involved in the activity

That part made me laugh.

>>77700
I mean to reply to:
>>77300

There was this guy his name was Nick who went to my community college, who I had a math class with one quarter. Within 5 minutes of the first day of class I was already wanting to kick his ass for asking some of the dumbest questions I've ever seen. Then a few weeks later we were turning in our homework, our teacher preferred collecting it once every 2 weeks or so. Our teacher said that the homework better be stapled our in a folder when we were turning it in. He tells the teacher "I can't use my folder I need it for other stuff". So the teacher said "than use a stapler." and he goes of screaming at the top of his lungs "I DON'T HAVE A STAPLER!!!!!!!!!".
Some student gives him a stapler that she had in her backpack just to shut him up. A few weeks after that we were getting our tests back, he looked at his and once again started screaming "A D! A FREAKING D! I WORKED 2 HOURS FOR A D! I'LL LIE, I'LL CHEAT, I'LL STEAL, WHAT EVER IT TAKES TO GET OUT OF THIS HELL HOLE!" Our teacher forces him to leave the room, and goes out to get him 5 minutes later. Hes still pissed when he comes back into the room, and has little outbursts every time he disagreed with the teacher as we were going over the test, and asking why he got it wrong. He also thought he was friends with another fellow classmate, gave him his cell phone number. Would randomly sit down with him during times where they didn't have class. He once said "like my new jacket?" than taps on it saying "It's goose down". Towards the end of that quarter he sat down with us one day and went on a rant about how Meg from Family Guy is mistreated. A girl pointed out to him that it's done to be funny, and the guy who he thought was his friend agreed. So Nick put his hand right in the guys face, and we tell him to leave. I ask him the next class why he almost hit him and he screams "It was a Japanese injucture!" and went on about how no one understands him. He also would go on little rants on how his dad is an asshole and does things like take him to car shows. The next quarter I heard that he was stalking several girls and the school was starting an investigation to have him expelled. I haven't seen him since that year has ended.

My brother went to college with a guy who was a huge hypochondriac and really into herbal healing. He would go with his mom to alternative medicine conventions or expos or whatever. He came to college with a big box of herbal pills and supplements that he took every day and installed an air filter because he was "sensitive." You'd think he would be a health nut, but he would get a cheeseburger with a huge cup of ranch dressing (fer dippin') from the cafeteria. Gross.

So I used to know this guy who would constantly and at every given opportunity (in school, over the Internet, whenever I saw him in the mall or something) quote the Bible to me and tell me about how I'd go to hell for being gay. I don't think he had Autism but damn, his stare when he talked to me was so fucking creepy and his voice would gradually get higher until he was literally screaming like Mickey Mouse. At some point, I thought he was just acting because of how ridiculous the whole thing was. Seriously, he was some kind of crazy fanatic. He'd just walk to me before class and tell me that I should repent and shit. His family moved to another town right after he graduated though so I don't know what he's up to now.

>>77306

Maybe a few of them had social problems, or weren't sure how to help. People aren't sure what to do when something out of ordinary happens, it's like their brain freezes up. I feel the same way sometimes. It's like I want to help, but I'm anxious of the social contact so I don't. Of course I feel like a jackass later.

>>77737
>Towards the end of that quarter he sat down with us one day and went on a rant about how Meg from Family Guy is mistreated.
Christ, what is it with tards and Meg from Family Guy?

Contributing.

Back in 7th grade I had an autistic girl classmate named Gina. She was extremely pale, had a lot of nervous twitches, wore "mom" type clothing (like flower shirts and khakis), and always had a vacant look on her face. She was HARDCORE into Pokemon, she'd draw art of Pokemon character everywhere and some of my friends back then would troll her by pronouncing Pokemon as "poh-KEY-mon" when she'd adamantly say "It's pronounced poh-KAY-mon!" Heck, when she got mad, she'd get a scowl on her face and mouth some Harry Potter spell to whoever made her mad. She also thought one of the boys had a crush on her and whenever they talked she took it as flirting. She cried her eyes out on Valentine's Day when she was finally told he had no interest in her. She was also like the only person in the entire 7th grade class that wasn't allowed to participate in sex ed because she never got her permission slip signed, so she was also probably extremely sheltered.

Around the time of year the talent show started, she was supposed to sing some Japanese Pokemon song but backed down at the last minute. Truth be told though, she did have a good singing voice but an otherwise derpy normal voice.

The summer after 7th grade, she probably switched schools/moved away. I admit I trolled her a little back then by instigating debates on how Pokemon is pronounced and getting her mad, but I feel kinda guilty now that she didn't have many friends.

>>77827

>>Faggot doesn't know what trolling is. I lol'd.

>>77827
Yeah, she doesn't seem to be as much of a lolcow as much as an awkward, pitiful preteen. Just thinking about the situation makes my moe sensors go off. I'd probably try to white knight for her than everyone would call me a faggot and say I'm just trying to get into her ill-fitting khaki pants.

People are forgetting what differentiates a lolcow from a run-of-the-mill retard.

>>77827
Was she hot?

>>77834
She easily got mad over menial bullshit. If trolling to you doesn't mean getting laughs over easily enraged aspies (much like we had with Chris even though Chris was on a grander scale), then I don't know what trolling is than.

>>77841
Nah, not really.

>>77843
It isn't. That's being an inadequate faggot.

>>77850
You clearly don't know what trolling is then. And you're a faggot. And no, I'm not the guy you just called a faggot, I just think you're a faggot.

>>77856

Angry fail troll got trolled.

>>77858
I don't really see where the trolling took place. People like you are the reason /cwc/ has such a bad rap.

>>69682
>I think that it's in human nature to ostracize those that are freakishly different.

Not only is it in our nature but this is how evolution works, preventing ugly spergs from passing on their genes.

>>77869
This. by this definition.
>>77843

Is "sperg" now another name for a retard?

>>77884
Its short for aspergers

>>77827
What did she smell like?

>>77888
That's not what I asked about.

>>77843
>than

>>77827
Artist's recreation of this "Epic Ween Trollan".

>>77737
There was another incident with this kid in said math class. One day he sat in front of me, and I coughed. And he's like "excuse me did you cough on me?". I'm like "My bad dude." and than he starts screaming "GREAT NOW I HAVE TO GO HOME AND TAKE A SHOWER!"

I went to high school with this kid who had a facial deformity and had no upper lip. Watching this kid eat would make you loose your appitate. He also had social problems, he thought everyone was his friend even though everyone made fun of him. The fall after we graduated high school he created a Facebook and one of the first things he does is post a video he made for a girl who we went to high school with that he was in love with. A few days later he made a video of him flexing on camera.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XZ6gqVoRa2A (this is not his account btw)

>>77897
Is that supposed to be funny or clever? I don't understand.

>>77905
It's whatever you want it to be.

I love riding the Greyhound, because you never know what you'll see. Just recently I saw a family of three oddballs.

The eldest son was tall and lean with long brown hair that was slightly unkempt. He was dressed in a simple t-shirt and jeans that were showing fresh signs of wear. In his hand he was holding a fantasy book titled "Lone Wolf", or something wolf related.

His mother was in her forties and looked like she was once in great shape, but no longer had the time to maintain her physique. Her hair was fashioned into a pixie cut that was dyed a color resembling burnt sienna. She was wearing a faded tye-dyed tank top.

She later reappeared with her youngest son, who resembled a little squealing piglet. He was wearing a bright yellow shirt and possibly short pants, much like Bobby Hill.

I wish that Mike Judge were there to capture their likeness in a portrait. I could probbably do it myself, but I'm lazy.

>>77939

So your typical Greyhound riders? These don't sound like lolcows, just people who don't know how to dress.

>>77954

You're too jaded to find it funny.

>>77939
now are we going to bitch about people being unfashionable? Christ /cwc/

>>77939
>>77956

lol this one time I saw this guy, who tripped up on the curb when he was crossing the road.
Seriously what a sperg, he made Chris look like Joe Jonas lolol

bump...

My neighbor has a 16-18 year old son who is a sperg. He's over 6 ft. tall, weighs, like, 110lbs, and has a weird interest.

Waynehead. Yeah, the cartoon with the kid with the clubbed foot. We frequently have block parties during the summer, and this kid ruins the mood by walking around, interrupting existing conversations, and talking about Waynehead. He frequently blasts the theme song so loud that I can hear it clearly, as well as him cheering. If you talk to the kid about something like current events, or TV/Movies, he'll yell at you and bring the topic back to Waynhead or My Wife and Kids, another Damon Wayans show.

>>78865
I knew spergs can have obscure interests, but Waynehead? I vaguely remember that show from the mid 90s. It was pretty shitty from what I remembeR and I'm surprised that even autists would care about it.

>>78865
We don't have this show in Britain, so I looked it up on Wikipedia.

>Waynehead was a Saturday morning animated series created by American actor Damon Wayans. It was produced by Warner Bros. Animation and Nelvana. It ran on Kids' WB from 1996-1997. It is about a young boy from a poor background with a club foot and was based on Wayans' own childhood in the urban Harlem neighborhood of New York City. Actors cast in the show included Gary Coleman, Orlando Brown and Marlon Wayans. Waynehead lasted for only one season due to poor ratings.

Ha ha.

I know this guy online through forums and shit. Who's 22 years old failed out of community college. Is a virgin, has never had a job. He goes around Facebook messaging girls if they want to fuck him. Goes on rants about how the Jews are to blame for everything, and that everyone who isn't a Traditionalist Catholic is going to hell. He refuses to listen to modern day music because it's devils music. He doesn't believe in the Holocaust. He gets banned from just about every site he joins, after being banned he'll make a million sock puppets and whine to mods that he needs to be unbanned. He also whined that he's going to end up like CWC.
Facebook:http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1189380217
AIM:Merz64Mario

>>80429
Phone Number 913 704 5791
The why this guy talks on AIM is scarily like CWC. He talks in rage caps, and like CWC was raised by parents too old to be having kids.

http://www.furaffinity.net/user/bigbouncyfurries/

Current hang out of some creep I knew in school. He liked to molest people and had a creepy obsession with Rouge the Bat. He locked people in rooms to molest them. His picture at the prom is him next to one of the girls in my class staring down at her breasts. Fucking weirdo. Don't know much more about him though.

>>80525
>He locked people in rooms to molest them.

Wat. Explain.

One time I got a retard mad by calling him the wrong name a bunch of times. He fucking told a teacher on me, and she yelled at me for calling the kid by the wrong name.

I haven't bothered to tell my tard story here because it's pretty long, spanning the entirety of my academic career.

The short version: I attended a primary school for deaf children, even though I wasn't deaf. After that, in junior high school, some of the classes were integrated, with a focus of mainstreaming the retards, so a lot of the teachers assumed that I was one of the retards. I never corrected them because I got a lot of special treatment and didn't have to do as much work as the normal kids.

In high school, I had become so socially inept from being separated from my functional peers, that I started to act like a retard. Some teachers just assumed that I was a special ed kid because I was so quiet and so shy and so weird.

I went off to college and dealt with the same issues.

Similarly, even in the working world, people treat me like I'm a retard.

Maybe I really am retarded and I'm not just pretending anymore :(h

>>85723

No, you're just a retard.

see below

>>85723

Thanks for the life story, I don't care or feel sorry for you in the least!

My mom's neighbor...oh lawdy where do I begin? She's my mom and stepsister's personal cwc who is a huge drug addict. She's also a fucking ugly prostitute who will make sure you know that she only charges six dollars a session. (that's her Sonichu medallion)
Not aware that my mom's home-phone has caller i.d., she once told her "just let it ring. If it rings five times it's me."
She also spends a lot on cigarettes and lottery tickets, and has pie in the sky dreams of winning the lottery and buying a mansion "that's just like da one on Scarface." Then she complains to my mom about not having any money.
Another story took place at a bar. My mom, my stepsister, her husband, the neighbor, my girlfriend, and I were there. She was stoned out of her fucking mind, and fucked a guy in the restroom. Due to the thin walls, we found out that her orgasms sound more like shuddering, and had a good laugh about it. While under the influence of crack she also flirted with my stepbrother-in-law and I in front of everyone. We tried our best to laugh it off, but he was getting mad. Luckily before he could slap her she found someone else to hit on; who bluntly told her in a choice of words that reminded me of Clyde Cash that no, he wasn't going to cheat on his wife who was going through some hard times with a fucking ugly stick-thin crackwhore. And that's all I have for now.

My boss' son is an autistic manchild. The worst thing about it, though, is that he's technically my boss as well by virtue of nepotism. He's technically the supervisor above my managerial position, which only exists because my boss knows that his kid was sheltered so much during his effete upper class upbringing that he's incapable of functioning in the real world.

Basically I'm part time business manager and part time baby-sitter in large (but admittedly, not wholly) because of the fact that he treats anything new with infantile enthusiasm and would happily wander into a propeller blade as soon as he'd try a new flavor of ice cream.

I try to keep him busy by letting him manage the desolate snack bar on the property and have his fill of free samples or giving him a foreign cartoon on DVD to watch, but it doesn't stop incidents like yesterday when he heard "Fine ass bitch" on the television for the first time and introduced himself to all female customers in this manner.

This emo in high school. Believes he has Agent Smith from the matrix as a split personality. Writes all this crap poetry and stories. He completely failed school. he is a fuck up.

I used to work with a guy who was pretty much a pasty sloth. He didn't talk to anyone and fell asleep a lot. When he left he put "fond another job" as his reason. He left for another New York Fries, despite working in New York Fries. He also smelled like dope all the time.

>>88489
>>88501
>mfw this sounds similar to me

>>88003
>>85723
These as well...Damn it, I suck at life.

>>88608
>>88617

Kill yourself.

>>88485
im telling pops that you made fun of him, benson

I was in a classroom for high functioning autistics in high school. Most of the students were upperclassmen, and I hated them. They despised me with all their little autistic hate.

One was a female with this ugly looking face. Annoying voice, whiny as fuck. Always complained about her parents and religion. Whined a lot about being a failure. Reiterated almost everything. Thought she could dance well, contrary to popular opinion. Obsessed over michael jackson, black eyed peas, german metal. She also obsessed over the german language. It was obnoxious and annoying as fuck. She also drew like shit and kept on drawing despite criticism.

Then there was a dumbass fat guy who was the tallest of the class. Couldn't keep his mouth shut. Listened to shitcore metal. Annoying voice. Unfunniest piece of shit I've ever heard. Loved Foamy to death. Used the worst stock jokes.

There was a creepy korean kid who looked horrible, smelled horrible, farted all over the damn place. Had an annoying nasally voice. Always threw tantrums. Never shut the fuck up about ANONYMOUS and FOURCHANG XD. Could not deal with school. He annoyed the fuck out of everyone.

Those three were the worst ones. I hated them so god damn much. I just wanted to strangle them with their own intestines. Now, i had 2 good friends in that class room. Bros for life, I'll never forget them.

>>80790
Dude took a girl home, took her up to his computer room, locked it, played vidya for an hour and then tried to get some when he was done failing at Smash Bros. I don't really know what happened but it was enough for the girl's brother to threaten him on DeviantArt when he found out years later. He also tried to cop a feel from girl in a game shop but I don't know anything about that incident (since he didn't get arrested, I think it was another visiting e-girlfriend he's famous for "showing off" in public places). The e-girlfriends don't seem to last after they visit him, natch.

I've heard he's developed a CWCism where he'll get insanely butthurt over being mistaken for a woman and, judging from his last FA upload, he's a ponyfag too.

>it was enough for the girl's brother to threaten him on DeviantArt when he found out years later.

>threaten him

>on DeviantArt

>years later

Thats pretty damn hardcore, bro. That sure showed him.

>no stories in this thread are about me

Phew, dodged a bullet

There was a chick in my middle school exactly like yours, OP, only this one was not religious at all and she talked as if she was a character on Desperate Housewives.

There was this other child who was not autistic but had some strange anger issues. She was obsessed with Pokemon and didn't talk about anything else unless it was how she "HATES!" her teachers, random classmates or kids who were legitimately, feebly, and hopelessly disabled (There was this one kid who had to use a wheelchair and couldn't talk because he was in a horrible car crash, and she would make fun of him.)

Once I got into a conversation with her about religion, and I told her that I am not Christian, and she asked if I was a Jew, and when I said "No", she asked "Then what are you?", as if Christianity and Judaism were illegal. She also told me that I would go to jail because I am gay.

Contributing.

There was this one kid I went to elementary and middle school with, let's call him Ed. Ed was definitely a sperg, but also just really awkward ALL THE FUCKING TIME.

I was his best friend in elementary school since he was a kid who liked science/Legos and hated sports. He was very bright, but also very sheltered. His parents let him have no gaming system for the longest time and I remember he wasn't allowed to watch Simpsons in middle school. I get the feeling he had a blocked TV or just parents who were TV time Nazis. I can recall telling him the prior night's Simpsons episode verbatim at lunch each day. His parents were also really into health food and he never drank soda, had cookies, etc...

He had trouble with gas. Like, seriously. Everyone in class knew when he ripped one and it always smelled awful. He totally would break down into tears over nothing (like not passing a map quiz on European countries) and would also throw tantrums. He was known to scream and run out of the room if he was angry.

In middle school my and the group I hung with really isolated ourselves from him, so he spent more time in the library and computer lab. Must have been ronery.

Not sure if he went to college. He was bright enough but I think sucked at subjects he didn't want to study. Saw him walking his bike to a trail near my house the other day. Must have been 5-6 years since I've spoken to him.

>mfw I realize I was the lolcow in High School.

Contributing:

It all started back in primary school, and this guy with autism (and other things, like he had to be fed through his stomach with a tube) got teased and bullied like mad. Me being no better than anyone else, I did have my share of picking on him. I felt really guilty when he had left that school.

So a couple of years later (Dec09 - Jan10 I believe) I find his facebook, and out of feeling guilty (and pity) I went ahead and added him. What a mistake. At first he asks me if I like yugioh, and me being a very mild fan when I was young I said I was, and conversation with him was nearly always about it. Soon after he tries to make moves on me after I gave him my MSN (out of pity and guilt again) and asks if I want to see the Yugioh movie when its out in English, even though he didnt know when it would be out but I said sure anyway. I don't know if he thought he just got a future date with me or something, and he continued to try and impress me. He told me that his father had found his dearly loved 4gb of Yugioh hentai, and on another occasion told me he had fapped 6 times in a day and asked how impressive I thought it was.

The only amusing thing to come out of this experience is that he was jealous of my boyfriend at the time. My boyfriend is from another country, and insisted that he must be a pedo. When I kept insisting he wasn't, he finally just said "well if he turns out to be a pedo, will you go out with me instead?"

>>89064

grow a fucking backbone, you're as pathetic as the sperg for seeking out, and allowing/subconsciously trying to build this bridge with him. Are you really that starved of human interaction?

>>89066
Do they have armchairs for you to practice that psychology from your moms basement?

>>89068

Yeah, they're comfy as fuck. It's part of the reason I never leave. That and I'm busy straining to cultivate this sweet neckbeard

>>89064

Why would you do that?

This thread is like a rollercoaster of hilarity and depression for me. I have come to the realization that I am the teacher in the worlds' biggest Special Ed class.

>>89070
I just felt really, really bad for the way I and others at my primary school had treated him. I know it was a stupid idea, but really, I wasn't expecting stuff like that to happen.

>>89069
What do you call a beard that doesn't lay on the face, it just sorta fuzzes out? I got one of those and my wife won't go out in public with me until I shave it. Quietest summer ever.

>>89074
I lol'd

>>89074
Here's a picture to remind you of it. I suggest you hang it on your fridge

There was a group of furfags at the highschool I went to. Was kinda funny since they were all furfags(hurr redundant much), ugly chicks, pagan, otherkin, feminists. Most confusing thing of all is that they were all black. You wouldn't even have to try to upset them, any use of the word god or any passing refference to christianity would make them litterally flip out and start crying because they thought there were secret sects within schools made to convert everyone to christianity.

They'd do really dumb shit that made them stand out a lot, like wearing cat ears, HUGE fucking pentacles/pentagrams/whatever you call them, shit tons of black clothes and then have the nerve to always whine about how everyone is always staring at them and shit. They also had a lot of entitlement issues. They'd regularly steal fucking manga of all things from the barnes and noble near the school and on the few times they got caught, they would try alerting the entire student body that it "wasn't fair" for some reason.

One of them was in my media technologies classes all three years and she would ALWAYS make any assignment that gave you freedom over the subject matter about either cats or furries. Nothing really mentionable aside from the 2 times she was restricted from using the computers and editting stations. First time, she stored a shit ton of furry porn on an external hard drive that WAS SHARED BY EVERYONE IN THE CLASS TO STORE FOOTAGE. She actually wasn't even going to get in trouble at first but she made a huge fucking scene about it and kept saying the teacher was trying to DESTROY FREEDOM OF SPEECH and that he was a furry hating church pastor in disguise. Second time, she had openned up a folder full of music and pics in windows media player and apparently didn't know that images openned up in it are shown. And of course, more furfag porn and she started another arguement about her being a viking tiger thing in a past life so liking giant dog cocks was perfectly normal.

I don't know what they've been up to since highschool ended back in 2009 aside from one video on youtube where they complain about people "speaking mexican" or something.

Back in 8th grade there was this kid named..well, I'll call him J. It was J's first year at our school, and he quickly became a lolcow. My friend back then gave me a good laugh by his story. When I went to middle school, we had assigned seats. He had to sit next to J. He heard J say to himself quietly "uh oh" and immediately thereafter he called out to the teacher "I need to go the bathroom!" We later discovered he probably needed to change his Depends, because he bent over to pick something up and we all saw that he was wearing one.
Another time J kept dropping his paper on purpose. The fifth time he went to grab it, he fell and banged his head on the floor. The teacher asked him what he was doing, and he just simply replied, "Butterfingers." It's not quite as funny as it was back then, but at the time it was the inside joke of the school. Another inside joke was that we would always tell him to "smile like a donut!"
He also listened to whatever people told him to do. He started out with blonde hair. These girls told him to dye his hair brown. Next day, he showed up with brown hair. Later in the school year, the same group of girls told him to dye his hair black. You guessed it, next day his hair was black.

He stopped showing up to school one day. I heard it was because he went to a farm or something for kids with disabilities.

I'm autistic and because my parents weren't fuck ups it didn't even effect me that much, other than make me slightly more antisocial than some other kids.

Simple, all you do is tell your child what they are doing wrong and help them correct it.

Are people just completely useless or something?

>>89154
Oftentimes, yeah.

I have a friend that is basically a thin, black, "gay", ~24yo version of Chris. He is very excitable, obsessed with videogames, anime, and from what I can tell TV in general. He goes by a random alias on facebook for no obvious reason. He enjoys the idea of genderswapping. He has lied about jobs (not certain but due to inconsistencies and his nature it is probably a lie). He will go on very animated rants over useless shit and squeal (or similar sound) in delight over some videogame or movie he is excited about. He will randomly try to censor his swear words. He came up with an elaborate lie about some Zelda trilogy and insisted that his Japanese hacker friend found out about it from Nintendo's site or something. He claims to be writing some script for a Power Rangers movie that he wants to see made. He has lied (I assume they are lies) about girlfriends and, once he came out, a boyfriend (this is slightly more believable). I have doubts about his homosexuality since I feel he lies to make himself seem interesting). He seems strangely close to his "Mommy". He had one of my friends drive him by the store at midnight on their way home or something to get bread when she asked him to buy some.

I have two I wonder what happened to them, but I grew up, and lived in an are full of lolcows. One friended me on FB, but it's nothing special, just some girl who was addicted and got wet over the local sports teams, graduated two years late, moved to another state and has been in a long term relationship with some dude much older than her, they have two kids, later taken away and people tell her that he is no good (I really don't know her that well, and barely remember her, or know most of the details) but she sent me a friend request on FB, I think because she knew one of my sisters so I hear about her every now and again. Sure enough she looks like a beach-whale and has awful hygiene and is slow in the mind. Meh.

Plus I knew this midget autist/sperg girl that graduated high school, went to a community college and was addicted and would sperg out about Jeff Goldblum and broke down when his show was canceled. If she graduated or what happened afterwards, I dunno. I got out of the area shortly after.

Can we archive this please?
I love stories, don't care if they're true or not. Stories is what I liked most about /b/.

There was a Chinese guy at my old school who was a camp bisexual. He used to speak in swish, but did so in hong kong accented broken english. When people made fun of him he'd say "You stupid", whilst flapping his hand. He was very long limbed and clumsy, he kept bumping into things, especially as he constantly walked around with an erection. What makes him a lolcow, however, was the way he seemed to have a crush on the R.E. teacher, who was pregnant at the time. He used to masturbate in her lessons, and hardly tried to hide it. Oh and he also kept changing his name because a fortune teller told him it would bring him good luck. So he entered the school as William but immediately changed his name to Jerron, then to Jaron, then to Jerome. Most recently I heard that he has fully immersed himself in gay culture and is living in different countries around the world for short periods of time. He was quite rich - he had a blackberry when nobody else had one...but he was a terrible student, as he never listened to the teacher because he was too busy ogling her (and had to ask her to repeat the question by going up to her desk, rather than putting his hand up).

>>90547
MFW you seretly jelly of his money and lifestyle. the fact that he can do what he wants and act how he wants, its something you wish you could do. i bet he was actually a pretty OK looking guy and rather normal, just that YOU (and others) are jelly of him...

Ok, I know this great lolcow from my Sixth Form collage. Lets call him Ed.
He is trying to be an emo, he has long hair but it is incredibly greasy. He has no nice clothes, he is a poorfag.
The lulz started when someone in an upper year convinced Ed that he was a demon hunter. This inspired Ed to make up "Smith", his split personality guardian demon. He insisted that Smith was real, and when confronted he would shout "I AM SMITH NOT ED!!!!".
At this point he had self diagnosed himself with DID and schizophrenia.
Now everyone would shout "SMITH!!!" when ever Ed went by. Many lulz were had.
He was also very socially inept. Because of this he had counselling, which he had never needed. He would always brag about how he was smarter than everyone else because now he could miss any lessons he wanted. He also bragged about how he was more intelligent he was. Bear in mind he got 1.5 GCSE's and no A-Level's. I wonder to this day why he was never kicked out.
But the real lulz started when Ed had started A-Level. He was becoming more emo, and had started writing stories and poetry and posted them on a site called Mibba. The stories were typical Bawwww with a typical self insertion mary sue character, his friends were in the stories too. The stories were terrible, he could not spell "one" as on one item, he spelt it as "won". So I did what any self respecting troll would do with this crap and printed the stories/poetry which I then posted around the school. That was funny.
While all that was happening he was in a 5 day relationship with a girl (we shall call her Ivy), he obsessed over her for 4 months after the relationship finished. Once me and my friends (Ivy being one of them) decided to fuck with him. We pretended that Ivy and Ed's supposed best friend were in a relationship. He tard raged and ran out of the building. He then came back and told everyone how he was "Crying his eyes out" to the phycology teacher, the head of sixth form and the head teacher. Many lulz were had.
The next month, he announced that he had attempted suicide. He said, and I am not fucking with you, that he went to the local castle, climbed up to the tallest tower and was going to jump off when he saw a vision of Ivy telling him not to jump. No one believed him, it is now an inside joke.
Also at this time he stayed at one of his "friends" houses. Ed then tried to suck the person off. He still denies he is gay.
Also around this time Ed was posting on a site called Teenhelp about how he was mercilessly bullied and how his family hates him etc.
After this I published his stories and poetry into a book, people in my year brought it, many lulz were had.
At this point I had broken him, I convinced him that the police were looking for him after he tried to punch me. Whenever I said police he would burst into tears.
Not much happened after that. Apart from trying to rape a girl. Lest call this girl Sammy.
Sammy was friends with Ed out of pity, Ed came over to Sammy's house. Sammy thought they were going to hand out. Ed pinned her to the bed and tried to rape her, Sammy punched him in the face (she is a small girl). He then went to school and said that Sammy tried to rape him. No one believed him.
He then failed his A-Levels completely. He is now a NEET who still stalks Sammy.
If you want his Facebook, msn etc. just ask.

>>90558
I forgot to mention that he gets £30 a week from EMA and never attends his classes. So he is also a benefit leech.

>>90559

Do share.

>>90561
By that do you mean you want him MSN and Facebook?

bump

I went to high school with a "tragic" lolcow who had a real bad case of the "Why Me"'s and OCD.

He wasn't embarrassing to be around, nor was he annoying. He was actually very funny and interesting at times, but me and my circle of friends always felt like he forced himself in and that we were obligated to let him hang with us. He was infamous around school for being from a very fucked up family. He lived with his single mother and two manchild brothers. His family was very broke, yet somehow was able to afford high-end shit. He would come into school and show them off, even bringing in the PS3 in his backpack one day. He was equally infamous for having OCD. He would stim constantly, and play these fast, complex drum beats by drumming his fingers loudly on desks, or even beating his chest. The kid was an intense germophobe, and would freak out if someone near him cleared their throat or coughed. He once broke down crying because he got a mustard stain on his shirt in lunch. He then broke down crying the NEXT lunch saying over and over again that he was sorry for making a scene. Possibly the biggest "event" of his high school career was allegedly rejecting free pussy from a girl because she painted her nails, and he found it disgusting. He revealed in an English class that many nights he sleeps with the TV on because he's afraid of his "brain playing tricks on him" and hallucinating monsters. Every day he would walk to and from school, no matter what the weather. These two girls would film him trudging through the snow and falling on ice and upload them to Facebook. Despite having no friends he was always embarrassed like he had a reputation to lose. Every time we would get loud during lunch, he'd look around the cafeteria and tell us to be quiet, his face beet red. One time he told us that he wouldn't ever kill himself because if he did, attention would be drawn to him and his family.

He was well-known for being afraid to leave his house, because according to him, in addition to not having many friends to hang out with, he was embarrassed to be seen around his house and family, since he lived less than a block away from a busy downtown part of the area. Outside of our lunch table, he didn't have any friends. He never talked during any classes, and every chance he could, he would throw on these giant headphones and blast indie shit whenever he could. Whenever he had his headphones on, he would creepily breathe heavily through his nose, sniffling like crazy. I always tried being a genuine friend to him, but he would always whine about how shitty his life was, and how nobody really wanted to be nice to him. I later found out that he was normal from kindergarten to high school, but his mother was responsible for a falling out with his old group of friends, prompting them to physically/verbally abuse him every chance they could. Two things that depressed the fuck out of me where when I saw him at the end of the hallway and pointed him out to my girlfriend. He overheard me telling her that he didn't have many friends, and he ran the opposite way, sniffling and tearing up. He was extremely lazy, and didn't bother at anything in school because he said there was no chance that he wouldn't end up like everyone else in his family.

I haven't met up with him since graduation, but I still text him and talk with him through Facebook every now and again. He's working 10-15 hours a week and is apparently trying to write a book.

>>93323
That just sounds like the guy had depression, not a lolcow

>>93323
Good for him. At least he's doing something.

Also, mfw I am reminded that not everyone on /cwc/ is malicious

>>93330

This is /cwc/, son. Anything resembling any sort of mental illness or psychological disorder counts as "epic ween lulz new Chris lolcow XD".

>>89134

Could you please share with us that video you mentioned?

>>93339
He's still a wreck, though. He's only working because he's being forced to. He has no driver's license because of his social paranoia, he "dropped out" of a community college before he started, and he frequently would tell us that he has apathy towards his family, and only views his mother as someone who pays the bills and buys him Christmas presents. When his mother was in the hospital for a heart attack, he told us that he was embarrassed to go in because he didn't want to be seen with her.

All in all, he's a very eccentric, selfish and apathetic person, but he cares deeply for the people he likes.

>>93349
I'm not saying he has become fully-functional, but he has goals, and that's a good start. And even though he's only working because he is being forced to, finding that he can hold a job and handle responsibilities could improve his confidence.

>>93350
Eh. I wouldn't say so. All of his life goals are unattainable. He thinks that he'll be able to sell a screenplay for a 90 minute film for over $1M. He's a self-proclaimed musician, and always goes into tirades that certain rap/pop producers have stolen TRUE and HONEST concepts that he already came up with.

His main goal seems to revolve around getting a MacBook. He's been bitching about it for the entire duration of high school. Every time Apple announces a product he texts me and starts sperging about it for DAYS.

>>93353

>All of his life goals are unattainable.

>His main goal seems to revolve around getting a MacBook.

UNATTAINABLE

>>93355
He expects his mother to buy the highest-end model for him. The guy hoards his money and refuses to spend it.

I have two stories that took place in the early 90s, when I was in middle school.

There was this one kid who aspired to be a stand-up comedian at the middle-school I attended, who thought was funny, but in reality was embarrassingly unfunny. He didn't have any friends, and would try to win over our classmates with unfunny jokes he made up. The sad part was seeing him participating in the school talent show, only to be faced with a really quiet audience, which looking back, was depressing.

There was this other kid, back in eighth grade, who, much like Diagla-Brite was into childish things, namely Sesame Street. He made his own Sesame Street manga, "Adobenchaa no Baato ano Aani" (Adventures of Bert and Ernie), which was decently drawn, but quite an unusual Sesame Street fanfic. What was funny about it was hearing him squeal Sesame Street character names in faux Japanese. "Biigu Baado! Kuuki Monstaa! Erumo! Baato ano Aani!" He would tell my friends and I all about it, and even showed us his hand-drawn mangas of it.

>>93375
>"Biigu Baado! Kuuki Monstaa! Erumo! Baato ano Aani!"

>>93375
Now I want to read it.

This might be kind of boring in comparison to some of the other stories but last semester I took a Japanese consumerism class. I'm pretty weeaboo but this guy was on a completely different level. While the teacher was saying how stressful and hard Japanese expectations are, he would interrupt to talk about how in glorious Nippon, respect is EVERYTHING (unlike horrible, uncultured America). He would randomly start talking about anything, if only to be "lolsorandum" (including once listing off various ways one could commit suicide and not stopping even when someone pleaded with him). The professor once brought in manga to show the rest of the class what it was like and this guy stated gushing about Death Note and how wonderful and intelligent it was. He once got into an argument with another student about popular music, saying he just "didn't like what it stood for." His favorite band? Linkin Park.

Later on in the semester, Weeaboo walks in and says something like, "Hey, you remember watching old cartoons? They were always Getting Crap Past The Radar!" I could practically hear the capitalization in his voice. "Yeah," he went on to say, "Like the episode of Cow and Chicken where the biker chicks came in and randomly started MUNCHING on their CARPET! HAHAHA!"

He was a goddamn Troper and quoted the shit in real life no matter how inappropriate the moment. The kid he was talking to didn't even grow up in the US so had no idea what show he was talking about.

I hope I never end up in class with him again, it was just too awkward.

>Japanese consumerism class
How specific.

My sister. Before I continue I should explain that my sister was suffering through coping with mental illness at a very young age, and as a result missed out on some very important formative years at school. She now has the mentality of someone who is about 15 years old, but she is almost 21.
She is obsessed with superheroes (particularly DC) and has a hardon for Superman. One year for halloween she dressed up as Superman Cowboy (aka a superman costume with a cowboy hat and cowboy boots). She was 16 when she did this. She made her own batman utility belt out of yellow duct tape with real homemade pockets and stuff. She also writes her own stories which are pretty much fanfiction quality, but they're her own characters and place and stuff, so I guess she has that above most lolcows.
She is generally just embarassing to be around. She is loud. She doesn't know how to speak or laugh quietly. Today was her first day at college, so I was showing her all the places and helping her confirm registration etc etc. Before we went we stopped for coffee, and she got a boston cream donut. She ate it in the very crowded but quiet gymnasium, which wouldn't have been so bad, but she got chocolate all over her face, and she's a noisy eater. When she was done eating, I heard her start ripping the wrapper in half. I asked her what she was doing, and she loudly proclaimed that there was some chocolate frosting that had gotten on the wrapper and she was going to lick off. She continued to rip it in half and very noisily and almost obscenely lick the frosting off the wrapper. I wanted to die right then and there.
Last year for her birthday, I jokingly got her some Justin Bieber silly bandz. She actually wears them. All of them at once. And there is like 20 in a pack. She also wears all of her superman silly bandz all at once. As well as every bracelet and necklace she has ever owned. She also has every keychain she has ever owned hanging off of her belt, and has everything you could ever need inside of her messenger bag, from handcream and antibacterial gel, to rulers and calculators, even when she has no class for several months. She really just looks like someone who has too much stuff on her at one time.
She is also super religious and went to a bible college last year, and didn't understand why I was really shocked when she told me that this institution forced their adult students to live on campus and have curfews.

The mum of this chick I knew, and her kids too. As near as we can tell she's probably 36 and she's got two kids who are about to go to college. I went to school with both girls in junior and senior high. She runs some super goffik! website. The first was really funny and had a lot of amazingly bad content in it. She got into a fight with another admin because she posted a picture of herself with blood in her hair and pretended she'd been beaten by a boyfriend (it was really obviously fake). So the first admin shut down the site and she just made a new one. She's a pathological liar, and about the weirdest things--on the site, she lied about what pets she owned. Their apartment is a wreck; she can't get into her bedroom because of their hoarding. They have a huge mold problem and the dishes almost never get done so they all have mold growing on them. They're all lardasses; the eldest daughter is probably the least fat and she probably weighs at least 200 pounds. She's shorter than me and I'm around 5'5". The other daughter and the mother are horrendously obese, probably about 300 pounds each. I should note at this point, though, that the younger, heavier daughter is actually a pretty decent person. I feel bad for her because she has serious lung problems and the house is so moldy and disgusting. The other two are almost certainly sociopaths. The mum dates multiple men at a time and takes their money, and then bitches about how awful they are and degrades them to their faces--I really hope one guy in particular got out because he seemed pretty sweet. She's certain that every man she meets is flirting with her and is especially proud of her tits because they're large, little realizing that they're proportionately quite average, she's just a whale. She's very excited about the fact that she can apply her lipstick by clasping it in her cleavage and smearing her lips against it. The mum is going to University of Phoenix for psychology and believes she's going to become a therapist. She makes the kids do her homework for her and if they don't she tells them that she's going to fail because of them. She's a massage therapist but we're not totally positive how she's making money because she only massages one of her boyfriend's parents. They live in government housing but they waste all their money on stupid shit: band tickets, Hot Topic paraphernalia, about half a dozen musical instruments they never use and don't play, and whatever else is cluttering up their entire house. She won't get off her couch until she's about to piss herself, and told my girlfriend once that she had to wait for the sensation of having to piss to go away or else she'd piss herself. She lies on the couch most of the time and watches anything on TV. When she walks she waddles. Their fridge has decomposing old food in it, and a jar of peanut butter that's several years past expiration. Their cat (which they're not supposed to have) is expected to use a litterbox that was maybe cleaned once. It's so full of feces that it's piled several inches up. She's ceased to use it and now pisses and shits where she pleases. The guinea pig literally lives in a cage full of shit. They try really hard to be special and different and will go on and on about how they're pagan and how they wear black. The mother and the older kid are weirdly obsessed with each other and always want to be with each other. If one is using the shower sometimes the other will sit on the toilet so they don't have to be separated. They're usually several hours late to everything and the older daughter told my girlfriend that she expects to always be able to arrive whenever she pleases even when she has a job because she does things when she wants. She's extremely easy and will pursue anyone who will give her attention, including the weeaboo who awkwardly touches everyone and reeks of body odor. She even dated a chick who gave her attention, despite the fact that she doesn't like chicks and would cry and complain about how disgusting lesbian sex was. She's called a female-to-male transgender person "a little bitch girl" and screamed at me about being gay in a crowded hallway full of people. However, she claims to be "omnisexual" despite this and will go on and on about LGBT rights. We think it's mostly to look edgy or progressive, or something. She likes to lie about her ex-boyfriends and say they beat her and tried to force her to do sexual things and it's been shown to be untrue several times. She's convinced she's going to get into UC Berkeley when she fails all her classes because she doesn't bother doing shit; she tries to make other people do her work for her. The kids like to go on and on and bitch about their father, who has a family of his own. He's incredibly sweet--came up to help teach the older girl how to drive, posts about them on Facebook all the time, and they say the nastiest things about him. I feel awful for him. She's also incredibly neurotic about her eyes; I took a science class with her and she'd whine on and on about whether anything got in her eye or not. She was wearing goggles but would be convinced she got shit in her eye anyway. She's kind of like that; she won't shut up for fucking hours if she gets on something. Other people report that she's even worse about this at home and will rub her eye raw and then freak out because it's raw. The younger girl, who's moderately normal (she doesn't go to classes and shit but she's surprisingly decent considering her two lovely role models), has quite a few pretty nice friends, and the older girl's only real friend is a sperg. To be fair, she's not a bad kid, she just spergs out about dick and penis all the time and it's rather uncomfortable. Even the sperg doesn't seem to like her that much and will ditch her all the time. The kid is decently quiet online and I don't think she's that funny TBH. The mum's website is hilarious, though. Full of actual adults who write stupid poetry and talk about how they're psychic and Satanists and they basically circle-jerk together. It's not really hard to get onto the site, either. I might post the link but I don't want to deal with it getting back to them. It's annoying when they squeal.

I didn't really think about it until I wrote it out but they have some similarities to CWC. Pic related, it's the mum.

>>93409

Holy shit, you guys, I didn't realize I wrote that much. I swear it was formatted too...sorry.

have another picture for your troubles. I captioned it some time ago. nevar forget carousel horse

I was in gym today and this faux emo kid (fake scars, dyed hair, generic necklace, faggy posture) was stuck with me, he got SO pissed when I called him out on his emo faggotry.

It made my day.

>>93414
Fake scars? People do that?

>>93323
I think I know who you're talking about. He frequently posts on GameFAQS and whines about his life. IIRC he convinced his manager to allow him to wear sunglasses inside due to his problem with eye contact.

So some time ago, there was this kid, we'll call him Doughboy. He was a very eccentric kid.

He reeked of shit and piss, probably never showered. He was also pretty fat. All he wore were crappy thrift shirts and basketball shorts. He loved video games of course, he played Pokemon, Runescape and some other GBA video games. He also had a speech issue where he would pronounce T's as Z's like "I'll hurz you!" instead of "I'll hurt you!".

The worst issue, however, was that Doughboy would piss himself, all the fucking time. This, of course, explains why he reeked of piss. He also lived in some trailer and apparently had a toilet in his bedroom. His father died apparently and his mother seemed pretty poor.

Anyways, I feel pretty guilty about it now, because the kid would be ragged on all the time and I was definitely one of the contributors. We always made fun of him, so he would try to fight us when we would. The catch: he was the weakest person to grace this planet. Doughboy would try to chase you and he would throw weak punches at you, but if you retaliated with a simple punch he would be in extreme pain.

Another weird thing about him was this weird attachment he had to this Pikachu doll. He would often carry around the doll since he liked Pokemon of course. However, one time, he was caught humping his Pikachu doll, which did not look very pretty. To cap it all off, someone threw his Pikachu doll in a urine-filled toilet one day.

One last thing to add: There were times when his shit aura smelled so bad that I used entire cans of spray and the shit smell would still stick, some of the smells that came from him were the worst I've ever smelled.

>>93460
That's pretty fucking nasty. What is it about fat retards reeking of bodily fluids and feces?? Anyhow, your story reminded me of three kids I sort of knew, when I was in elementary school, all who were skinny kids. The first skinny boy smelled like a slight hint of shit. He had a speech impediment and would pronounce the word pretend, "bee-tend". He had a younger sister, who was mentally challenged. She not only wore a bathing suit all the time, (even on school days when we didn't have swim lessons) but she carried a stuffed Kermit the Frog doll with her at all times that smelled like it had been pissed on. It was so sad seeing her get teased by other kids, and eventually, she went to a special school. The last boy was also skinny and smelled like ass. The smell was so strong that it perpetuated for a while. The sick part was, this kid was proud of the fact that he smelled like ass. His other thing was he was into fart jokes as well. He, once held a fart from first period, until the school day was over, just to try and fart on a girl, only to shart on his shorts.

When I was in jr. school (age 5-13) there was this kid, E. E started of alright but got more insane as the years passed. When we were around 7 years old I invited him and a few other friends around for a sleepover. So I was downstairs fixing some drinks or something when one of my other friends came down and told me that I needed to come upstairs and calm E down. Turns out he was jumping on my bed. There was a small hole in his pyjama trousers and he'd stuck his cock and balls through it so that everyone could see them and was just bouncing up and down and screaming. He wasn't angry, just hyper, and apparently he thought that was acceptable behaviour at a MIXED sleepover (yep, I'm a girl, there were other girls there). He wasn't invited back.

However, I did go to his house on a few occasions. I remember going to the shop with him to pick out treats for his dog and him showing me the dried pigs' ears and explaining in detail how they chopped them off the pigs while they were still alive (I did know it was BS but it was still creepy). Another time I noticed that his garden was covered in silver things, and I asked them what they were. He explained that they were mole traps, and they cut the mole in half, even demonstrating on a stick. Then he showed me some moles that had been cut in half, smiling constantly. Even at 10 years old I knew this guy was fucked up.

When he began approaching puberty, though, E became even more weird. He started flipping out at any small provocation, screaming and headbutting the wall. He never screamed words, mind you, just... screamed. The biggest trigger would be someone calling him gay.

One time I was standing around, leaning against a wall outside a classroom, chatting to some friends, when he suddenly ran up to me and shouted in my face "DID YOU JUST CALL ME GAY?!" totally taken aback, I managed to reply "What? No, I didn't call you gay..." but he still grabbed me around my neck, shoved me against the wall and started choking me while screaming. I tried to push him off, but even though he was about the same size as me at 12 years old he had psycho strength and I couldn't do anything about it. Similarly, three of my friends trying to get him off me couldn't budge him. It took my friends shouting for help, me blacking out and the whole class trying to get him off me for E to stop.

When we were all 13, towards the end of the school year and after exams we all went on a trip to the Isle of Wight for some adventure training and stuff, good shit. However, at one point we were playing some ball game when my other friend, G, got smacked in the face and started throwing up. We were all waiting with him, trying to calm him down while we waited for the doctor when E runs up, again, and this time just randomly shoves me into a post, smacks me in the face and runs off again. Odd, okay, but I wasn't really hurt so whatever. So G went to the hospital and came back, he just had a mild concussion, had some scans and was fine after an hour or so, so with the days' excitement wound up we went back to the rooms we were staying in. We were staying in these cabin-things, single sex, 5 people per room (there were only 30 people in my entire year). Me and a few others are accompanying G back to his cabin when we hear screaming in the distance and see a load of kids crowded around a single cabin. Turns out that after someone in E's cabin made some innocuous remark - I think something about a penknife - E took it as a threat, locked himself in the bathroom of his cabin and started screaming, smashing things and refusing to come out.

Before I continue that bit, I just realised that it might seem a bit odd to some of you that we never involved the adults with this stuff. The truth is, I went to a very small school where they pretty much treated you as an adult from the day you arrived at 5 years old until the day you left - think British boarding school (it was actually a British semi-boarding school, but most people were day pupils). When it came to the social side of things, we sorted things out by ourselves. Adults only became involved if they involved themselves, and usually they weren't around when it wasn't lesson time. For example, after the choking incident no one informed a teacher. I'm sure it seems odd, but it honestly never occured to us to involve adults with things like that. Unless someone was seriously injured (like G) we cleared things up on our own, and in fact made an effort to leave adults out of it. That being said, there was absolutely no bullying or anything like that, which again seems weird I know, but in our tiny society of 30 people everyone always tried to include everyone. E was by no means the class lolcow, he was just a guy who flipped out occasionally and was a bit nuts. However...

So E's locked himself in the bathroom. The window is open but it;s too high up to see anything. People are shouting questions at him - stuff like "are you alright" "what's wrong" "do you want anything". He responded to each question with another high pitched scream. That was all. Occasionally he'd go silent for a few moments and then start screaming and crashing again. Everyone was trying to calm him down, trying to get him not to break anything. At one point someone went and bought him a bottle of water, and threw it through the window. E freaked out even harder at this, as though it was an attack. After a while he seemed to get tired and stopped smashing, but still wouldn't open the door and answered everything with a scream. So a bunch of kids went and got chairs and mattresses from the other cabins and piled them up in front of the window - there was no way E could be allowed to stay in there and no one knew if he was hurting himself or what. A couple of the biggest guys climbed up the "tower" and went in through the window - apparently he was just lying there and crying at this point. They unlock the door, physically carry him into the main bit of the cabin and put him on his bed. The next day he was perfectly fine again.

>>68909

It is Dreadful... she draws shota porn and probably enjoyed the groping.

  >>85723

Fuck it, and make this song your new theme song.

>>93323
I got some more goodness.

If you don't really know the guy, you would assume that he's depressed, but he's got a lot of problems. I'm surprised he hasn't been diagnosed as a Sperg. It baffles me how he's able to be somewhat charismatic yet be so fucked in the head.

Everything he does is routine-based. He doesn't do anything during weekdays, yet he schedules when he's going to wake up, shower, what websites to look at, when to eat lunch, when to clean around the house, and even when to fap. He actually has a little schedule on his phone with two half-hour "Jerk Sesh" things listed. Every time he has to do something that breaks away from his schedule of wake up, use the computer, fap, eat lunch, and use the computer some more, he freaks out. This even applied to school. Whenever there was an assembly, everyone was excited except him who was either biting his nails or trembling.

Despite spending 90% of his time using his phone, he hates phone calls, and is extremely afraid of talking on it. He told me he often has to rehearse what he says and even come up with a list of realistic responses for whoever's calling him, and he can't even decently call his own mother. Speaking of his phone, he is extremely weary of lending it to people even for stupid shit like playing Angry Birds. Whenever he gives his phone to someone else, he wipes it clean of all E-Mails, browsing history and texts. I remember he was hyperventilating on one of the last days of junior year because his phone's battery was below 80%. When a teacher confiscated his phone during class, he started to scream at her before barely missing her head when throwing a ruler at her. He got 10 detentions and was forced to drop that class, but he was more upset over losing his phone and having to walk home from school when "the sky was getting a little bit darker".

There was this one Vietnamese kid I knew in high school. Not really a "lolcow," but he was definitely a slow-in-the mind.

I only had one class with him - BritLit. There were a few things he didn't get. Like this one time the word "tomboy" came up in something we were reading and he didn't understand what it meant, so we explained.

"A tomboy is a girl who likes things that guys like."

"Oh, you mean a lesbian!"

I think pretty much everyone in school loved him. He was a sweet guy.

I actually knew this one kid back in middle school/high school who has Autism and a possible lolcow due to his temper. This dude was in a couple of my classes and let me tell you that he has the worst anger problem. Every time a teacher would tell him that he had to put his book away since its classtime he flipped out and growled! He would even slam his stuff to the ground and would even throw a chair/desk against the wall. Every time I see him he would be reading his book and didn't even care that it was class time or break time. Plus this guy was obsessed with Duct Tape as would wrap around his things with nothing but duct tape, and wouldn't go to school without duct tape.

However, this guy was a total douchebag since he had certain attitude problems with everybody for no reason. Not to mention like chris chan, this guy was a total egotistical asshole as he thinks he is better/smarter than everyone else and would rub it in your face whatever you said something he believe is stupid or pointless to him; even if you weren't talking to him and just answering a teacher's question.

Last but not least, this guy was obese and rumor has it that his parents spoiled him to the point where he can eat whatever he wants including Spaghetti for breakfast.

>his parents spoiled him to the point where he can eat whatever he wants including Spaghetti for breakfast.
That's weird, but it's not going to make him a fatass.

>>93583

I've eaten spaghetti for breakfast plenty of times when I was a kid, especially left overs. That doesn't make him weird. The whole duct tape thing does though.

>>93586

>including, but not limited to, spaghetti for breakfast.

That any better?

>>93623

Yet again. No. Spaghetti for breakfast isn't fucking weird you cockfag.

If it was cake, chocolate, candy, etc. Some sort of junk food then yes. But even then how would pancakes or even maple syrup covered french toast be even better.

Considering the fact that I'm not even american I consider this another slap in the face to the fact you're an ignorant fucking putz who has no idea that breakfast isn't limited to what you fucking eat it's limited to whatever you fucking feel like eating. If I feel like having a god damn cheese burger or a pizza or some kebab for breakfast I god damn will.

Stop being stupid and just present the facts that this kid was a duct tape using d-bag who threw books around and chairs. Who cares what he ate? Unless it's shit, literally human excrement then it has no fucking business being mentioned.

>>93624

What the fuck are you so angry about?

>>93624

>If it was cake, chocolate, candy, etc.

That's kind of what I meant with not limited to, the poster who was talking about this kid was making the point that his parents let him have anything he wanted for breakfast, he just used spaghetti as an example. He's already said this kid was fat as fuck so obviously there was more to what he ate.

>If I feel like having a god damn cheese burger or a pizza or some kebab for breakfast I god damn will.

Okay, go ahead, the point was that this kid is a fat bastard who's parents didn't restrict what he ate for the sake of his health, what the hell has this got to do with what you eat?

>>93624

Plug a tap in his anus. We can't let seasonal buttmad like this go to waste.

>>93624
dude calm down

My neighbor's son is 22-23, and when he's not working a grave shift doing custodial work at a 7/11 for minimum wage, he sits by his window and pulls his pubic hair out, pulling on the split ends.

>>93453
This. I forget the username, but he had a very weird Ulillillia-like obsession with what video games were like in their beta/development stages. I remember he'd bust a nut every time a new Unseen64 article was posted, and he'd make multiple topics based around them.

In elementary school after care, there was this kid named Gabby who was retarded. About once an afternoon he'd have a tantrum that involved attempting to remove all of his clothing. The aftercare women when then need to forcibly restrain him while he called down, forcing his clothes back on as he tried to wriggle them off.

Fortunately they both worked at the zoo (I know because they kept telling us to say hi if we went), so they probably were pretty used to dealing with shit like that.

>>95793
Wait. He does this in view of the street?

bump

I run an LGBT support group elsewhere on the net, so I wind up talking to strangers. One girl has been talking to me all night, first trying to sexually propositioning me and then offering to be my pet because she can set people on fire with her mind. She's also half wolf and half cat, and her parents were killed by dragons.

>>96742
God damnit. I've seen worse. FML

A magic using half wolf half cat I MUST REVENGE MY FAMILY FROM THE DRAGON chick I have to hear more of this!

Brother's roommate from college was a total aspie. He had incredibly poor social skills but was like a genius (think Sheldon from Big Bang Theory but actually getting beat up for his childish antics) who would be incredibly blunt. Friend of me and my brother ask how her hair looked (bad but you know how you're supposed to respond to friends on that) and before we can answer he says "Wow, what happened to your hair?"

We'd try and coach him on how to behave with people and what was acceptable behavior and what was not. He actually did pretty well with us coaching him so he got a lot better over a short period of time. Unlike Chris this guy was really smart and caught on to concepts. His weirdo parents (met them, weirdo genius types) did a shitty job raising him and helping him work with his condition.

I come by to pick up my little bro for a night out in Austin. We ask this guy if he wants to come along and surprisingly he says yes. See, he always said no before when we invited him to outings but I am a polite kind of guy irl so I always offer it.

Now this guy had never drank before in his life so we were a little weary. Granted we were all crashing at my place only a few blocks away from the bar but I was worried he'd handle it badly.

He does. We tried to get him to try a beer first to see if he liked it before moving on to a shot of hard liquor. Turns out he really liked the beer so he was eager to try a shot of tequila with us.

He sips the shot at first and when we tell him you guzzle it down in one quick gulp he does so. He starts coughing immediately and saying "FUCK THIS SHIT!!!" Me and my bro start laughing and we're joking about him not being a virgin with lady liquor anymore. He gets pissy (turns out he's still a virgin with rage) and starts going onto a tirade about how we're insensitive to him and how we're dickheads.

The entire bar is looking at us now and we're telling him to calm down and not yell about him being a virgin with rage so loudly. This oddly worked and he sat down. We quietly tell him we didn't mean to make any fun with him and asked if he would like to have another beer instead.

He agrees and while we flag our waitress for another drink order this rather cute girl approaches our table.

She starts flirting with him. I guess she found him cute (he was actually a nice looking guy) and was laying it on thick.

Total aspie for fuck's sake. He didn't catch on she was hitting on him. Me and my bro are just staring at this train wreck when she finally gets fed up with him not responding to her obvious advances and walks away.

After a long silence my bro says, "Dude, that chick was hitting on you."

"What are you talking about?" says Aspie Jones

"You didn't catch the obvious flirting? I mean it was short of her throwing her panties at you with her number on it." I pipe up.

The confused look on his face still didn't prepare us for his next statement.

"So girls give their numbers to people via their panties?"

Sarcastically I say (not thinking), "Yeah, it's a very sacred ritual of courtship."

The rest of the night me and my bro are just getting hammered with this guy. He gets worse the more he drinks. I know it wasn't the best idea but damn it was fucking funny.

Near the end of last call he excuses himself and heads to where the bathroom is. Me and my bro ordered a last round of beers and our tab. We hear a loud commotion coming from the bathroom area and we look over.

Apparently my sarcastic comment was taken seriously by Aspie. He's demanding the girls panties with her number on it from the sound of the conversation him and her are having. Apparently she is yelling at him to get away from her and he says that she started it and it is against "courtship rituals" to not finish the exchange.

We both rush over there and drag him away, telling her and her friends that he is too drunk and was just kidding around. Her friends are ready to beat the living shit out of all three of us but we manage to calm everyone down.

We get back to our table and explain to him that I was just being sarcastic. He is pissed because get this, people who are being sarcastic should make it clear they are being sarcastic.

Eventually he pissed someone off back on campus and got punched in the face. He transferred to another school and we never heard from him again.

There were other times where he would hang out with us but that was the one that stuck out in my mind. Mostly because Chris' Big Night Out reminds me of a mild version of that night.

>>98125
Classic.

>>98126
Thanks, we took him shooting once at local range and he said he didn't like all the loud noise. He would try new things out after the bar incident because liked the drinking (he kind of became a crazy beer & wine expert after a while so he made himself some what useful) so he thought he would probably like all the new stuff we offered to help him experience.

Sorry if these posts seem a little incoherent. I just got off of my job and it's early in the morning.

>>68526
So there was an emo girl that everyone hated. You, being a socially awkward penguin, wanted to fuck her but lacked the balls to say anything to her. Now you're making up Pollyanna stories on /cwc/ about how much of a victim she is.

Cool story, bro.

>>68558
Yeah. No. That's a lie.

>>98125
That's the greatest thing I've ever read and I sincerely hope it's true.

>>98130

>Sorry if these posts seem a little incoherent.

Not at all. That was great, thanks.

Well, this one I have told a few times online. It's weird, it's concluded, and yeah.

I graduated Highschool, and had to work a year to get enough money to really go to college (I didn't want to be drowning in debt), so I managed to land myself a job working in a kitchen as a line table/shift supervisor, etc. Basically, it wasn't a McDonalds, Burger King, etc. It was a sit-down restaurant, not fancy, just middle of the road stuff.

Anyhow, if you've ever worked in a kitchen, you know how you always have a core few people who stay, and you always have people coming, working for a month or two, and getting fired/leaving. Pretty standard of minimum wage work.

We get this employee, we'll call him R, seems really nervous all the time, he's hard to really understand sometimes, he doesn't know when a joke ends, or when a joke is going too far. He's really socially backwards in a way.

Well, I have to train the guy. So I'm dealing with him all the fucking time. He's annoying, and we have absolutely nothing in common. So he starts opening up to me about things. His favorite bands are Blink 182, Good Charlotte, and most of all, Linken Park. He's twenty-two, twenty-three, and likes music for 13-year-olds. It gets worse. Stairway to Heaven comes on the radio, he turns it up, and remarks "Man, I love Pink Floyd."

I go, "haha, good one." I figured it was a joke. It was sort of an inside joke to remark that you liked an entirely different band that was playing.

He says "No, really, I love them." It was at this point I realized he was genuinely serious.

"You do realize this.. Isn't Pink Floyd at all"

"Yes it is, I can prove it, it says so on Rock Band."

At this point, we all realized he's fucking retarded.

Now, at the restaurant, sometimes there would be something to gawk at at a table, for example, some guy who's dressed horribly? "Guys, check out table 13." Everyone will pretend to have to do something up front and gawk. Yes, it's terrible but you know.

Anyhow, R comes back, "Guys, check out all the hot girls at table 12."

A co-worker goes up, and immediately comes back, R looks at him and goes "Seriously, happy new years hahaha" (It was January 2nd or 3rd, I remember this because I was off the 1st).

The girls were about 11-12.

R did not realize anything was wrong with this, and proceeded to take a picture on his cell phone.

I took his cell phone and made him delete it, since it was completely fucked up.

I sent him home and told him that his actions were unacceptable.

This sort of stuff continued, we'd get a new female worker, who was under 16 years old, and all he'd do is stare at her and laugh at anything he said. He claimed to have a girlfriend, according to my co-worker who added him on Facebook (Really, he did it to laugh at him), she was fat as all Hell and looked to be about sixteen-seventeen.

He starts talking to us, suddenly, about how he has a court date. It's weird how much he trusted us, but it was fucked up.

He soon started trusting us, a lot, and telling us exactly what happened.

He fucked a 14 year old.
When he was 21.

And then proceeded to have a three month relationship with her.

He knew that she was 14, too.

We were all genuinely creeped out by R now, seeing as how he would be pleading guilty to having sex with someone who is that young.

This is getting lengthy, but there's basically one last thing.

One of the reasons I am tight on money right now, my father has terminal colon cancer. He can't work, so I've been trying to help out the family. My lack of a degree means I can't do much, but I still help out. We get insurance and stuff, but it's one of the reasons why I had to work a while before attending college.

So, I'm talking to my manager about it in the office, this is with the door mostly shut, and the office is out of the way enough that nobody should hear it.

R is standing right outside it.

My manager tells me, basically, if things get really fucked up, or I need time off to deal with the issues at home, it's absolutely no problem.

R remarks, "It's true, you never know when somebody is going to die."

He was fired about 10 minutes later.

In middle school, I found myself in a special ed class for those of us that had difficulty following the rules. One of the students in this class, John, would wear sweat pants and always had his hair brushed back and was greasy as fuck. He was always chewing on nothing, and whenever he got a question right he would shout 'YES!' while putting both his fists in the air.

John also had a knack for asking inappropriate questions at spectacularly bad times. The two that come to mind is "Why do cars have bumpers?", which was asked during a math class, and "Does this school have hard water", asked while the teacher and teacher's aide were preoccupied with restraining two other students that were acting up in a semi-violent way.

Online, I've spent quite a bit of time playing with a documented USENET kook named Gordon Roy Parker, but he likes to pretend his name is Ray Gordon. Gordon lived with his mommy into his 40's, and only stopped because she died.

In his late 20's and throughout his 30's, Gordon spent most of his time posting to various newsgroups about subjects he knows nothing about, such as horse racing, gymnastics and hypnosis, but his biggest obsession was alt.seduction.fast, where he pretended to be a seduction guru despite having a limited understanding as to how to interact with people.


Gordon also spent this time of his life filing many lawsuits against various people and entities for reasons that nobody could quite figure out, all the while representing himself. Defendants included, but were by no means limited to, the University of Pennsylvania, Viacom, that 'Mystery' guy from 'The Pick-Up Artist', and Google.

My biggest act of trolling Gordon occurred when I sent a letter to his mommy describing his online activities, which he somehow managed to interpret as a death threat. That led to a solid 6 weeks of lulz, and made sporadic appearances for years after.

Unfortunately, the lulz from Gordon seem to have dried up now that he doesn't have mommy supporting him anymore.

There is a difference between lolcows and spergs being retarded spergs yanno people

These stories will sound pretty fucking boring in comparison to all these other tales recited here but hey why not

There is this one kid, he was a wigger of some sort. He was a scrawny white kid who believed he was this amazing thug rapper. Everyone wanted to beat his ass but he was an adopted kid; everyone else in his family were big, huge, black people so no one would dare to fight him in fear of getting their ass kicked by his niggo pals.

I had him in class one time, and he was the epitome of annoyance there. He was obsessed with American Dragon, and he would sing songs from it randomly during lectures. He also had a big crush on this tan babe, and he once made a rap love song for her. One of the lyrics was about her giving him a blowjob.

He eventually ran away, and he got caught by the police or something and got transferred to another school. Good riddance.

>>98141
Totally true. He had redeeming qualities about him like he genuinely wanted to improve his social skills and by the time he left for another university he was a lot better. Unlike Chris he actually cared about other people he just had a hard to connecting with them and what not. So it's hard to really rip on the guy because he was just kind of like a child in social settings.

>>98164
Oh good, when I wrote them I was up for 26 hours straight (work security and get put at a bunch of places yesterday) so I was worried my story wouldn't make sense or have grammatical errors or something. Not sure how fast threads 404 on this site since I'm new.

>>98169
R wouldn't happen to stand for Rick? And this guy wouldn't happen to have a mustache/beard thingy would he?

Because I knew a guy just like him.

My lolcow story doubles as a how-did-you-first-hear-of-Chris-Chan story!

At one of my old jobs, there was a guy who was pushing forty and still a virgin. We knew this because he often complained of it. Loudly. He lived alone with his elderly and was into your stereotypical weeaboo shit and fancied him a comic book artist. He collected children's toys.

Anyway. This was a little rinky-dinky retail job, and most of the people working there were pretty young--early twenties or so, a good portion of them being very young girls. I was slightly older, and the only married chick in the store, so I became kind of the den-mommy for all the younger girls whenever they had problems. Basically, it got to the point where none of the girls would work in the same area as this guy, especially if it involved working alone with him in our isolated stockroom, because he would follow them around and basically talk inappropriately about sex all the time--but all in the same way Chris kind of does: like a grown-up explaining things to a very young child, as if it were perfectly innocent and educational. Some of these girls were literally in tears because they were so weirded out. And I would eventually trot to management and say "Hey, Dudeman is really creeping Chick A out, you need to talk to him." But unless Chick A made a direct complaint, they refused to do anything, and usually Chick A was so freaked out and embarrassed, she wouldn't.

I didn't have very many run-ins with Dudeman, partly because I was older and not afraid to shut him down, and probably a lot because my husband was a pretty scary-looking dude. But I had some. One time I was joking that my husband, who worked a late-shirt, kept waking me up coming in late and that if he kept it up, I would change the locks. Dudeman came up to me later and told me in all sincerity that if my husband and I were having problems, he was always there to talk, and that he would even come help me change locks after work if I didn't feel "safe." Um. Yeah.

Another time I was in the break room. I happened to have an anthology of erotica that my friend had just published a story in. I was having lunch, flipping through the rest of the book, when Dudeman walked in. "I didn't know you read stuff like that," he told me. "You know, I am really into erotica myself. I haven't written any. But I think my drawings are pretty spicy if you want to see them." And he took out his sketchbook.

I was totally creeped out, but at the same time, this sketchbook of his was all but legendary in our workplace and I wasn't about to say no to actually getting to see it. So he sat down, practically shoulder-to-shoulder with me, leaning over me so he could see my reaction. It was basically the same thing as the Sonichu and Rosechu porn, drawn on about the same level. All the while he's giving me the fucking Creepy Rapist Stare, and saying, in a voice that I imagine was meant to sound sophisticated, "See, a lot of people look at me and never suspect how really sensual I am. But I am really a very sensuous person. I watch a lot of porn and it inspires my artwork."

Meanwhile I am holding my breath to avoid his funk, while simultaneously trying not to laugh. The minute my break was over, I rushed out to find my coworker buddy so that I could crow about finally getting to see the Sketchbook of Fail. My coworker's jaw dropped.

Our store, like the Game Place, also hosted weekly Pokemon meets. Naturally, Dudeman was our gym-leader and hung out in the back of the store with the players. Usually when the tournaments were going on, there was a lot of other little kids who would go meet up regularly to talk about manga and anime, and a lot of them were little budding drawfags and liked to work on their art together. The oldest of these guys was maybe twelve. My buddy coworker had seen Dudeman showing some of these kids the contents of his sketchbook, but hadn't know that it contained actual (badly drawn) porn. That he was showing to little kids. To this day, I don't think the dude was a pedophile; I just think he lacked the ability to realize what was and wasn't appropriate. Which isn't to say I wouldn't nail his ass to the wall to keep him from doing it.

Again, we reported this to management, but I don't know if anything was done about it. Dudeman was still working there when I moved house a few months later.

Upshot: about three years ago, a friend on the Internet told me about this dude who lived with his elderly parents and drew his own pornographic comic that was supposed to be for kids and collected kids toys and was obsessed with Pokemon and Sonic. And I'm like, Holy shit, I used to work with that guy!

Of course, it was Chris. But the more I found out about Chris, the more the similarities in their mannerisms, their way of speaking, their logic, all became really fucking eerie, to the point that if it's ever known exactly what the fuck is up with my old coworker, I will totally bet Chris has the same problem.

I wish I could remember Dudeman's whole name, because I'm sure he has some kind of web-presence by now and would make excellent lolcow material.

>>98239
Sadly enough he still beats Chris in that he holds down a job.

>>98246
Wonder if they're related.

>>98256
Brain-dead brothers-in-arms.

>>98260
LOL united together in their love quest for some China!!!!

>>98237
Huh where are you from dude
Canada?

>>98336
Yeah I am actually. Originally from Calgary.

>>98349
Are you fucking kidding me. That's where Rick was from. He moved to the Maritimes after shit hit the fan, I believe.

>>98363
>>98363
>>98363
Did that loser still carry his notepad around in his back pocket to write details of people who were mean to him or hot girls he wanted to do? Rick would scribble that shit down and he had atrocious hand writing.

>>98368
What was the first letter of his last name? I just want to really see if we're talking about the same person.
He didn't have a notepad. Bad hand writing though.

>>98375
The Rick I knew started with an M.

>>98376

Two different guys, huge coincidence though

>>98379
It might be the same guy, he made up bullshit all the time so his last name he gave me could not be true or vice-versa.

This isn't really a story but I added a friend I haven't seen in ten years on Facebook recently and it turns out she is a mega weeaboo. She's 22 or 23 and only graduated highschool a couple months ago. She lives with her parents, works part time at a bookstore and spends all her money on manga. She told me that she has almost 400 mangas. More like 380. I can't do math but those things are like 15-20 bucks and this is a fucking recession. It's mostly things like Clamp and Deathnote. Most of her Facebook statuses are just her calling her relatives assholes and arguing with them about it.

>>98385
He did nothing but lie to us, really.

>>98403

Ugh I worked at a book store and this girl literally bought like 400 bucks of manga in one purchase. She wasn't even sure if she'd have enough money in her account to cover it. If you only have about 400 dollars in your bank account, why would you blow it all on manga?

>>98437
Because she's a fucking idiot who doesn't know how to torrent.

>>98463
This basically. I had a friend he wasted his rent money all on weed and beer. 600 dollars worth of weed and beer. And he got slapped with a giant late fee at his apartment complex.

>>98431
That's why I feel like honestly it's the same guy judging that our descriptions are matching dude. Then again there are other douche bags out there that would fit that description. The Rick I knew was a real weirdo. He was sort of a friend of a friend of a friend kind of thing. Even his "friends" kind of used him because he was so fucking gullible and eager to please other people for acceptance.

I don't really remember much about the guy but back in High School this kid we all called Squidward punched out several windows in the school. I remember one year there wasn't a single week without some door's glass being replaced or the janitor cleaning up glass. I don't even think the school punished him for it really. Just a slap on the wrist each time he did it.

>>98531

You know, when I read the first bit of this for some reason I assumed he'd gotten his pseudonym because nobody knew who he was, and was known as "Squidward", mysterious breaker of windows.

>>98534
I honestly don't know how he got the nickname Squidward. I just know that I never wanted to call him it because I was pretty sure he'd come to school with a gun one day.

>>98535
That's the kind of kid you really beat up good then. Like to the point they can't eat without having a tube feed them.

>>98709
ITG detected.

Bump

bump

Guy who mentioned Aspie Jones in an Austin, TX bar.

So we were playing D&D over a few beers (okay more than a few but whatever) and he was kind of an ass about it. I think it's a sper.g thing regarding rules. See we would make up shit and have fun at building up weird adventures that followed no rules. He'd freak out like Sheldon Cooper and generally be a pain in the ass. That is until he discovered how pleasant weed and booze were and act really normal. That was actually scary to see him not be a total social retard.

>>101751
>I think it's a sper.g thing regarding rules.

Every tabletop group has at least one of these.

>>101875
Yeah, they are really prevalent amongst Warhammer or Magic the Gathering players too, they'll just argue about rules for everything (Nonsense like "It says end YOUR turn not MY turn").

>>101884
That's somewhat understandable in a competitive game. The really annoying ones will grind a cooperative storytelling game to a halt to argue the wording of an obscure rule so they can prevent a minor failure.

>>101884
I don't know if you've ever been to a tourney, but they're sticklers for the rules for good reason. People can pull off some extremely broken combos in Magic, especially if they just "misunderstand" a word here and there. It's also why they keep nerfing stuff left and right.

And why I prefer to play casual games with friends, in which if you want you can even use Unhinged cards. Way more fun.

Speaking of which, assuming any of you are familiar with /tg/ stuff, ever played Little Fears? I remember a long time back people talking about putting together a CWC campaign for that game.

>>101887
Yeah but this wasn't a competitive game. It was drinking beers and basically bullshitting with D&D. He, like Sheldon Cooper, was an insane stickler for rules no matter what the setting. We would kind of troll him by messing things up so he'd get butthurt.

I think one of the managers at my job can be considered a lolcow.

She's in her late thirties, over 300lbs, under 5'7, and is out of her mind. She's got that classic "might-have-down-syndrome" fat chick face. She got married and divorced very quickly, and apparently still remains a virgin. Because this job is the only thing she has, she takes it way too seriously. She often forgets that she's working a shit retail job and will actually tell customers that she works at a corporate position.

When someone takes more than 20 seconds to accomplish a task, she begins yelling at the top of her lungs in order to get the attention of customers. When she has a crowd looking at her, she'll start to use unnecessary training video jargon to describe the most menial of tasks. At this specific store, I've been told that in the past decade, a majority of the people that work there have been fired (or quit) because of her antics.

She believes that her position as a "co head manager" is higher than it is. She'll come to work wearing pantsuits and these weird-ass Steve Jobs turtleneck getups. Despite being a manager, many employees (and customers alike) have been able to get away with calling her a cunt to her face, resulting in her running to the office and bawling her eyes out. The best part is that just like our buddy Chris, she's obsessed with finding love. Every once in a while she'll fall for a new employee who will lead her on and then humiliate her in front of everybody, which will result in her taking a few days off and crying for a solid month.

>>102797
How the hell would her bosses keep her on if she acts so unprofessionally? If she was just a cashier or something, I could understand no one paying attention, but I can't imagine even the shittiest of retail stores wanting a manager who behaves like that.

Dear Thread, keep being awesome.

>>102799
I have no idea. I'm new, but (literally) every one of my co-workers has told me about how "rotten" she is. She made two of them cry, one of which was a full grown man. Even though I'm new, she has zero patience with me and acts surprised/angry when I'm unable to do complicated things that I was never trained for. The worst part is whenever somebody displays discomfort or annoyance at what she says, she genuinely smiles and gives a lighthearted threat of being fired. She'll hold her hand up and slide her fingers around each other saying "This is why you're here!".

I don't know why she's still there. She acts like a cunt even to the store's "main" manager. Even though she's a total bitch, treats her employees terribly, and doesn't think rationally, she's arguably the most "professional" person in the store. She's under the impression that every single minor rule about working at the store should be followed exactly in the way it's formally stated. Whenever I'm stocking shelves and I'll have a box near me, she'll walk to me and tell me how employees aren't going to generate revenue for the store because of "any potential eyesores".

Oddly enough, there are regular customers that dislike her. I've been asked numerous times if "the fat fuck" is in the store by many customers.

>>68526
>Darlington
If you're still lurking, my fellow nigga, I live in Yarm.

In high school, I knew a guy named Drew. Drew was tall and skinny, but in a really unhealthy looking way -- he looked like a heroin addict or an AIDS patient. The fact that he looked to be about 30 at 17 didn't help any. Drew lived with his grandparents after his parents were killed in a plane crash. He always smelled like a mixture of camphor and fried onions.

Drew was obsessed with TV programming. Not the shows themselves (apparently, the only TV he watched were Jeopardy and Digimon) but the way shit was programmed by the stations -- scheduling and the like. He memorized the contents of all the various studios' syndication packages, and had a Rain-man style recall of everything that ever aired on the 200+ channels in the premium cable package. You could name a channel and a time and he would be able to tell you exactly what they were airing.

He was also a furry, and obsessed with Krystal from Star Fox Adventures. He got caught downloading Krystal porn in media class a couple of times. The one time he was asked out by a real girl, he was so freaked out he ended up puking on her.

The last I heard of him, he had somehow managed to get married to a fat Indian chick and was working as a janitor at a TV station.

>>102816
Excluding the furry and puking part, that man sounds amazing.

I really half expect to end up in this thread someday. And if not someday, some year far away.

I really do.

>>102912

You've lucked out so far, so get yourself a treat.

>>102912
Same here, my friend.

Same here.

Though I did see a bit of a lolcow when I was in high school. He was a janitor who had gotten some pretty bad brain damage in a car accident...or so they say. He would go around the lunch room, giving Jolly Ranchers and Dr. Peppers to what he called his "friends." These people mainly consisted of athletes who patronized him.

When I was in 9th grade, I was pretty socially awkward. One time, I echoed some stupid Jeff Foxworthy redneck joke - and this janitor took it as the coolest thing he heard. Screaming "Redneck!" all over the lunch room became one of his biggest traits.

God, I miss seeing him every day.

My aunt Pam who is a middle-aged, morbidly obese who lives in government housing. She was super religious and was a religious radio talk show host. She has a cat named Isabella since you can only keep one animal and she smothers the cat to death. She likes to watch VHS tapes and A&E. As well as sending 'funny' emails to her contacts on her old ass computer.

She also has a vendetta for some reason maybe because she married her brother who then died and she is bitter about it. Since whenever I'm over she talks about her whenever it comes up.

As well as when I was over on her house in early August and was going through her year book she marked who had died the year and cause for each person in her class which she had said she was bullied and bitter about it to.

>>103319

>maybe because she married her brother who then died and she is bitter about it
>she married her brother who then died
>married her brother

wut

>>93323
>>93349
>>93353

Damn, it's like Chris and Ulillillia had a baby.

>>102797
Except for the last part, when I read this post all I could think of was a stupider, female Dwight.

>>104985
Actually, her face kind of resemble's Dwight's. She's one of those fat chicks whose face is so fat that it looks like she has down syndrome. Her upper lip is always sticking out.

  I went to high school with this guy who was out of his fucking mind. He was 19 years old and was held back a bunch of times. He had the same outfit on each day. Grey, stained sweatpants, jaundiced New Balance shoes, and one of three different Beatles T-shirts.

Much of his insanity revolved around him being a sex-crazed lunatic. In the classes I've shared with him, he would frequently sport erections with precum stains at the tip. We were instructed by the teacher at the beginning of each semester to ignore him. Every time an attractive chick would pass him by, he would lick his lips, grin like the fucking cheshire cat, attempt to grab the bitch's ass, and start speaking in tongues like crazy rednecks in church. I remember there was a math teacher who would always wink at students when making a joke. He took it as something sexual, so when she winked at him, I remember hearing a loud "OH, FUUUUUCK!" from the back of the room. When everyone looked back, this kid sunk in his chair and kept moaning the teacher's name.

The best story has to be when he got expelled. It was the end of the semester, so we had a tongue-in-cheek Show and Tell project where we would bring in an ordinary item and make a grandiose story. When it was the kid's turn, he ran out of the room and ran back in with a wet plastic bag filled with his own shit, and (presumably) water from the toilets. As the class was freaking out, and the teacher was calling for help to calm him down, he began swinging the bag around while yelling like Tarzan. He got close to the front row of students, and totally decked this girl in the face, causing the bag of shit and piss to explode all over her and the person behind her.

I never heard from him after that.

>>105110
>The best story has to be when he got expelled. It was the end of the semester, so we had a tongue-in-cheek Show and Tell project where we would bring in an ordinary item and make a grandiose story. When it was the kid's turn, he ran out of the room and ran back in with a wet plastic bag filled with his own shit, and (presumably) water from the toilets. As the class was freaking out, and the teacher was calling for help to calm him down, he began swinging the bag around while yelling like Tarzan. He got close to the front row of students, and totally decked this girl in the face, causing the bag of shit and piss to explode all over her and the person behind her.
a new copypasta is born

>>105110
Fuck. That's just fucked up.

>>105110
>He got close to the front row of students, and totally decked this girl in the face, causing the bag of shit and piss to explode all over her and the person behind her.

That sounds terrible but I couldn't stop laughing.

>>105110
Part two. Here are some other fun tales regarding that student. His name was Carl, BTW.

. Carl frequently looked at porn whenever the school's web filter was down. In a commercial art class he went to a site that dealt with Photoshopped pics of celebrities getting fucked. The teacher walked around the room to make sure everyone was working, when we heard a loud gasp. I turned around to see this overstretched JPEG of Jennifer Aniston being fucked. Everyone gasped and giggled, and then we heard a loud voice shouting "OOH! NOW THAT'S WHAT THE FUCK I'M TALKIN' ABOUT!".

. The 9/11 attacks happened in our freshman year. When the teacher broke the news, everyone was freaking out, since a lot of our family members worked in the city. Carl spent a good chunk of the day letting people that everything was okay because their parents "most likely didn't die painlessly". He then sent out an E-Mail to everyone he knew via FirstClass, this really shitty E-Mail app saying a message along the lines of "AWESOME! No school tomorrow! Don't you wish this happened every week?"

>>105438
>FirstClass
Shit, I just graduated HS last year and we were using FC since 7th grade.
Just how old IS that shitty client?

>>105438
are you upstate or new jersey or something? i think im going to go look for this carl

There's a kid I knew in high school who had an obsession with magic, listening to rap, being a neo-nazi, gun-nut and he also had a plan for the zombie apocalypse (ALL PLANNED OUT ON PAPER AND SUPER SERIOUS). He has anger problems, he does MMA, has ugly girlfriends cause he's desperate for someone to love him ;-;, and he lost his virginity in cornfield to some whore who broke up with him (also he dry-humped one of his ex-gfs legs and came lol).

Now I can say without out a doubt in my mind that he is not mentally stable. He would act arrogant all the time when he's a scrawny kid that apparently know MMA (One of my friend hung out with him and he was over and they "fought" and my friend broke his sternum), he would treat his friends like shit and he couldn't keep a conversation that wasn't genocide nazi zombie or weapon related. He's also one of those people that just love to say how big their IQ like it's their dick size and yet he would only get 70s or 80s in school. Basically when he was there we would just make fun of him cause he was just a dick to everybody. There were days that he was tolerable but those were special days. He was quite the lolcow now that I think about it.

>>105447

>>carl

>>new jersey

When I went to school in Colorado there were a couple of absolute dorks who would talk about Doom the PC game and chat shit about mafias and facist ideologies. bunch of idiots

Eric and his mate Gaybold

Left shortly that year though. Jefferson Country & Columbine is a shit hole anyway.
Argentina is way nicer

I wonder what happened to those dudes tho

>>105487

Last I heard they were trying to go for a high-score. Think they meant Doom, but whatever.

  I have been following this thread every so often since it was started, and when I was reading it last night I started to think about a documentary I saw about Autism that I think many of you would enjoy watching (maybe for the wrong reasons, but eh.)
Here is part 1 on youtube

>>105623

"I understand right but not wrong"

But that makes no sense!

>>105487
they shot up a school dude

>>105816

>>105821
>implying that wasn't the joke
fucking namefags think they can get away with murder around here

There was this crazy person named Ollo at my high school for the first year, complete weeaboo. He founded an anime club, but it only played Toonami VHS rips and the occasional hentai. He was also a complete dumbass, but he got better marks than I did because he was friends with the awkward loner who later became valedictorian at my high school. So he got excused from all the tests by his councellor and got straight A's in all the group work. He'd talk at length about crazy violence and stats from Warhammer and Kamen Rider in class, usually when everyone else was working. So goddamn annoying. We used to tease him by remembering a few series names and then bullshitting up conversations about them. Or we'd tell him that someone else liked what he liked and he'd tardrage at them when they denied it.

We fucked him over before graduation by inviting the future valedictorian to parties and convincing him to work with the jocks. Dude didn't have any time to help Ollo, who failed all his final projects and didn't know how to study for exams. He was hilarious in his final hour, finally realizing that he was fucked in high school. The last I heard from him was when I wrote my general Science exam and heard from across the hall, "HOW DO WE COSINE?!" and several thumps. After that, he disappeared.

I think people are confusing dicks with lolcows.

I have a story about a very special lolcow. He was an autistic guy who worked at my college that everybody (except for the professors) called 'Retarded Larry'. No idea if that was his real name, but if you'd pass him by and say "Hey Retarded Larry", he'd smile his deformed smile and flip you off. To this day I don't know how Retarded Larry got a job there or why, but before my second year, I'd see glimpses of him every now and then. He'd be doing stuff like checking IDs at dances or hanging out behind the cash register at our dining hall. At dances, he'd wander around from crowd to crowd, picking his nose and generally creeping people out. Except for one time at one of those dances, Retarded Larry always dressed the same: red shirt clumsily tucked into his pants, with a phone holder attached to a belt. Retard Larry had his own creepy stare, but whenever he'd talk to people, he'd squint his eyes like Napoleon Dynamite. Larry wasn't all bad, though. For example, his responses to bullying were pretty hilarious. Once somebody asked him how big his dick was, and Larry told him in his nasally voice, "Bigger than your tits, doucher." But all lolcows have their thing, and I guess Larry's was sex. The guy was obsessed with it. One time in the library I saw him googling how to have sex.
Anyway,one day I notice Retard Larry is with a girl. Fat, short, and her face looked like she had downs syndrome-I didn't know her, but I assumed she was his friend from special ed class or whatever. By this point, I knew that Retarded Larry's mom dropped him off every morning and picked him up at 6. So when he came up to me and asked if he can borrow my key card(our dorms used key cards) because he "lost his", I knew he was trying to pull something. I told him no, and left for class. When I got back a few hours later, I ran into some soccer players my roommate was friends with. They were extremely happy and laughing, high-fiving each other. I asked them what was up, and they told me that they let Retard Larry and his lady friend into their suite. It was obvious that Larry was going to have sex or die trying. Minutes later, I saw an old lady(probably a “handler”) with a worried look on her face run by, followed closely by an RA. I had a class to go to, so I’m sorry to say that I don’t know the delicious and juicy details of went down, but I never saw Retarded Larry again. Oh and I'm pretty sure the soccer guys got expelled too.

Back when I was in middle/high school, there was a very fat slow kid who was easy pickin's for bullies. His name was Charles, but everyone called him "Chuckles"

Now chuckles was an asshole. He believed himself to be superior to everyone. He had a very loud voice and spoke slowly, almost comparable to the way chrissy speaks. But anyway, good 'ol Chuckles thought he was stronger than he was. He would often times initiate fights with people he didn't like, only to have his ass kicked 9 ways to sunday.

One memorable event was when Chuckles was in the hallway before class, when suddenly a very loud crying came from the hallway. The few people (myself included) already in the classroom exited to the hallway to find that chuckles had fallen on his ass after slipping on his own math book.

Another memorable event was when he picked a fight with a mongo with downs syndrome (who actually had retard strength) and got his ass kicked so hard he needed to have stitches above his eyebrow.

Chuckles looked like the fucker pictured, except without the mustache and chuckles was considerably fatter and shorter.

This thread reminded me of some very odd shit from the net a while back.

I remember seeing this crazy forum from 2003-2005. It was a small group of Sonic fans that were convinced that Sonic Adventure (and the GameCube port) were "self-aware" video games that had content that would change and update all the time. I vividly remember the phrase "The living, breathing world of Sonic Adventure" used a lot. The admin from the forum would frequently go to GameFAQS in order to talk about his odd interest, but he'd be harassed away.

Members of the forum would post long walls of text stating how the adventure fields and certain levels from SA would have subtle changes every time they played. These would be accompanied by weird side-by-side pics showing extremely subtle movement/change of pixels, which were highlighted with MS paint. Because of that, the members of the forum believed that there was hidden content in the game that was meant to be unlocked somehow. Members would actually keep daily logs of their investigation.

IIRC the admin still frequents GameFAQS, and has played Animal Crossing every single day since its launch in 2002.

>>106582
That's probably rooted in the early Dreamcast days, where Sega would throw tiny little updates into Sonic Adventure, like putting Christmas trees around the game during the holiday season. It was nothing ever more than that, and they didn't do it for very long.

>>106633
These people were under the impression that characters, levels, and different things were hidden.

>>106679
Which is why I believe it was a misunderstanding on their part. They probably don't understand how timed events work, since they are/were not used to that kind of feature back in the day, so clearly it's fucking magic.

>>106696
I should note that this went on for years.

>>106582
I actually remember these guys from the GameFAQs board.

At the time I had no idea what they were going on about.

>>93323
I know who you're talking about. Just like Chris he buys a shit ton of video games but only for Achievements/Trophies.

>>106582

>>105449

I think this guy goes to my college

>>107408

You just got me thinking about Otakin, mostly that one girl who thought she was Ken from Digimon, and also those two crazy people who thought they were characters from Final Fantasy 7, among other things.

I just got out of a mental hospital, so I've seen my oddities, but nothing "lolcow".
There was this one autistic 14 year old(i'm 18, so I was included with the kids) named Carlos. Now, Carlos was a decent young man. He spoke in a typical autistic stutter, where "I went down to my room" would sound like "Ahiee wehhhnt dawhn to maeehh roooum." When he spoke, it sounded like he would waste an entire full breath on a couple words. He would take about 2 minutes for 4 or so sentences. He was there for anger issues, and he would throw a huge tard rage every day, around lunch. He would take his tray and throw it at some unsuspecting nurse or aide, and then proceed to punch multiple things around him. He even broke a plastic window once. I got out yesterday, so I'm sure good old Carlos is still there.
There was another 14 year old, Brandon, who was normal, but in for "cutting and depression." He was depressed because his 15 year old brother was a pothead, and his 13 year old step brother looked up porn under his username on their PS3. He also broke up with his girlfriend of a week. He would also overreact insanely to a 16 year old named Matt who hit on him to get his reaction. He would start going into a fit, saying he was "Christian and Catholic so he can't be gay" and "Hannah was waiting for him back home." He got discharged today, I think.

>>107408
Oh man, I totally forgot about that. Those kids thought they could have real digimon through the placebo effect. And that one guy who claimed his old-ass SGI workstations were supercomputers. Good times.

>>102808
>she's arguably the most "professional" person in the store. She's under the impression that every single minor rule about working at the store should be followed exactly in the way it's formally stated.
There's your answer. She's autiscally obsessive about the corporations anal-retentive rules. If the store's doing well, of course it's because someone's freaking out all the time about stupid shit.

She is the retail industry's perfect worker.

Can we keep this thread alive? It's actually pretty interesting.

There was a kid in my middle school, who eventually ended up going to the same high school as me as well.I think he was either one grade ahead of me His name was Stephen. He was either a high functioning autistic or had Apersoners. He was slightly fat and wore glasses which were always crooked on his face. He also wore the same navy blue hoodie every day. He would carry all of his books at once so he'd never be have to go to his locker and risk being late, and would sprint to all of his classes. Kids would slap his books out his hands and he would flip out because he thought he was going to be late. At lunch, he sat at the special ed/retard table and every day these 2 foreign kids would come up to him and very cheerfully say 'happy birthday'. and he'd yell "IT'S NOT MY BIRTHDAY!" at them and start tardraging. I can remember one time, a kid who was actually mentally retarded sat in his seat. Due to his apersoners/autism he flipped the fuck out because apparently sitting in the seat next to his usual seat was too much of a deviation from his standard routine. I was in the lunch line when he went off but I could hear him yelling something at one of the aides for the special ed table. he started screaming "DON'T TAKE HIS SIDE!" and gesturing wildly at the retarded kid. He got expelled later that year for making a hit list. Apparently the two kids who always said 'happy birthday' to him were the top 2. A few years later he starting going to the same high school I went to. I trolled him one time in a hallway that was crowded shoulder to shoulder by walking extremely slowly in front of him so he couldn't pass me. The minute bell rang and he started huffing and trying to push past me, so I planted my feet firmly and didn't move. eventually he took all of his weight and rammed me into a locker to get past. he was still late.

sorry if this sounds scrambled or doesn't make sense. I'm not much of a writer lol

Boy, do I have a story for you guys :p
There was a kid I went to middle school with who I will call E. He always had a hard time distinguishing fantasy from reality. In the sixth grade, he believed that he had joined the CIA, and believed that a pimple he had on his ear was a tracking device from the government. In seventh grade, he somehow came to believe that he was the "chosen one" who had to save the world from the "Dream World". He made up his own sonic recolors and believed that they were real, due to the fact that he fought alongside them in his dreams against the dream world monsters or whatever.He also claimed that he met a kid on runescape who was also a chosen one, but lived across the country, and tried to make the trip (which failed). He also claimed to have visions of the future, and actually approached a girl saying he saw a vision that they were destined to be together.He believed that the only way he could stop the Dream World from invading was to collect the chaos emeralds, so he made a map of the school showing their locations, along with various weapons, which landed him in some trouble. He believed that by gathering the chaos emeralds his sonic recolors would enter the real world to help him. Other misc. insane beliefs that he had included that he was going to build an Extreme Gear (the hoverboards from sonic riders) a banshee (from Halo) and that whenever it became dark he turned invisible.
The sad thing is, knowing sonic fans there's probably thousands of kids who think like this throughout the world.

>>109091
Thank God I was a Lammy fan.

That's a little less pathetic than being into Sonic in general.

>>109091
>along with various weapons, which landed him in some trouble.
Tell more please.

>>109315
um jammer lammy?

>>109433
Eeyup.

I worked in a nasty hotel a few years back and had the displeasure of working with one of the most unpleasant people in my life. He was a 40 year old retard who made a career out of being a minimum wage front desk attendant.
This guy was seriously delusional and he really believed he was too smart and blamed his IQ for failing at life.
He was also nasty. He smelled like a meaty fart all the time and had long yellow nails and green teeth.
He would hit on the hot girls that worked there that were waaay to young for him (some as young as 19). He would go around bragging about how he was a great catch and when a girl would reject him he would turn into a conniving asshole and had these girls fired. The manager was too much of an imbecile to double check and just took this creeps word for it.
Did I mention that he had a 28 year old girlfriend while he was pulling off his little antics? She was retarded. Like for real. Like she could barely read and had the mental age of an 8 year old. At some point she was mildly attractive, but you know... retarded. He threw her out in the streets when she gained weight and wasn't fuckable to him anymore. This guy is so fucking disgusting.
Anyway I'm running out of time, I'll write an incident that happened with him tomorrow.

Pic related, that's Mr. Sexay.

>>109489
I dun smell a Ponyfag.

>>105623
>mfw you coaxed me into watching this out of sheer interest

>>109976
Hey, I didn't use it because a pony said it.

It just came out.

>>109489
>>110083

>>110170
lol fag

(USER WAS BANNED FOR THIS POST)

I don't know if this is lolcow worthy, but you guys like stories, right?

Well this is about a guy I used to be buds with, let's call him Jeremy. I met him in middle school, we went to the same high school, we were great friends. Things started getting rocky in junior year.

Jeremy liked to be the best. At everything. From Chao racing (sonic adventure 2), to D&D, to Smash Bros. Whenever our group would play D&D, he'd munchkin, hard. He would cite bullshit rules from D&D books that didn't exist or he'd justify loopholes (that didn't exist)like saying a Gnome illusionist could brainwash an entire country at one time. Gnomes get a +2 or some bullshit to illusion spells. That's... not a lot.

In junior year, things got worse. There was a japanese exchange student, and Jeremy was a huge weeaboo (not using the term lightly, the guy had katanas, shurikens, lots of manga, etc.) and eventually the two started dating.

He was a shitty boyfriend. They'd plan a date and he wouldn't show, or she'd want to do something and he'd rather do something else. He didn't compromise. Anyway, it was around the middle of our junior year that we discovered he was a pathological liar. Up until this point I was hopelessly naive. I honestly thought he was really good at lots of stuff, that he was worldly. I respected him.

Senior year, he's still dating the japanese girl, except now she's living with him (she was able to get a transfer).

More lies. He'd lie about being an awesome fisherman, and when he was taken fishing by one of my friends, he could barely untangle his own line. He even lied about eating the fish he caught (this was confirmed by his girlfriend, they never ate the fish). His relationship with not only his girlfriend, but his friends, was starting to crumble.

His girlfriend was miserable, but apparently her life at home was so bad that she dated him so she'd be able to stay in the US. Shortly after the end of senior year, things got even worse. He'd bring her to every D&D meeting (she hated D&D) and made her play, and never listened to her. At this point, most of us cut contact with him. His girlfriend went back to japan shortly after this.

He ended up joining the navy. Apparently he's a drunk now, and spends his time challenging his old friends to drinking contests when he's in town. Another one of my friends, the only guy who's kept in contact with Jeremy, says he's just as bad as ever. Still believing he's the best at everything.

I haven't spoken to him in years. I shook his hand at his dad's funeral, that was it. This wasn't really funny, but I hope it made a semi-interesting read. Picture very related.

Up until high school, I was classmate's with an incredibly obnoxious, grotesque creature of a human being. He's just like Chris. Sheltered, spoiled, unhygienic, gullible, and downright stupid.

In Elementary school the kids were assholes, but not smart enough to realize what was wrong with him. We all knew him as "the ugly pussy". He as relatively short, had an odd, Zombie-ish complexion, smelled like shit, had a harelip, and had the weirdest mannerisms ever. He would run with his arms awkardly bent in front of him like Edd from Ed, Edd & Eddy. Whenever he would laugh, he would laugh exactly like Bart Simpson, and even mimic the wide open mouth and head spasms. Kids would frequently piss him off in order to get him to scream Kame-Hame-Ha. His lolcow career started in second grade when we all sat in a circle on the carpet. This kid sharted himself and threw up in no less than 20 seconds because he was excited about his birthday. In third grade our school was somewhat famous for getting a brand new computer room with (then) insanely-powerful Mac Pros. We all had to make simplistic slideshows about things that were special to us. Every single kid in the class did something about a relative, friend, or a favorite pet....but this 'tard decided to do his presentation on the top ten video games his mother had bought him that month.

That should set the tone. I'm guessing his mother felt guilty about giving birth to a kid with so many problems, so she spoiled the fuck out of him. He would be taken out of school early just to get video games and toys. He was under the impression that he was better than everyone else because he had so much shit.

Middle School was a laugh riot. He began to become affectionate towards girls, and would spend day in and day out creeping on these two girls. The popular, jock-ish crowd would make him to the craziest things in hopes that he would get their attention. Rumor has it he ate dog shit because he thought it would make them laugh. Every time he would face constructive criticism, or even something as basic as "You have something on your face", he would go to the guidance counselor, fake cry, and attempt to get his mother to sue the person for verbal harassment. This shit continued up until High School, where he left the public school system and (I assume) got homeschooled. After that, his legend continued through stories about his mother buying him insane shit. At one point I found out that he had a shitty sprite comic consisting of a Dragon Ball recolor and Bart Simpson as a buddy cop duo. I shit you not.

To this day, according to a friend who works at a GameStop in a local mall, his mother frequently attends midnight releases for high-profile games, and threatened to sue the GameStop because they ran out of copies of CoD: Black Ops, and she was at the end of the line.

I'm a Polish weaboo. So after anime one con I ended up with this one girl and took her home. She looks like if she was about 12, she's double that. She's also the craziest and most irresponsible person that I've ever met irl in the fandom. I don't even know where to start.

Maybe this. She has kids. That she abandoned. She's got these kids with another weaboo that she had met at another con. Now he's stuck with her kids while she visits occasionaly.

She had a beloved pet rat that she would take everywhere. At one con, she gave it to some girl to hold and went elsewhere. She didn't even know that other girl. They never ever met again and it was the last time that she has seen the rat.

She used to live with her mother, literally in the basement (which here is unuusal), but then she decided she should become homeless. She would "sleep on the construction scaffoldings". I don't even... She eventually returned to her mom.

She used to travel by train by hiding from ticket controllers in the baggage component. But then she found this bicycle somewhere. So she decided to use it to travel to her old boyfriend to Warsaw. Which is literally half a country away. With no money and a small battle of water. I told her to get to me first, I gave her some money and a road map of Poland... I don't know what happened, I guess she sold or ditched the bike and hid in the train again or something.

She's now living with some really old dude (like, 50 or so, wearing these 1980s heavy metal clothes) that she met at still another con.

Of course no education and never held a job. The pic, she even kinda looks like this autism postergirl, right up to the hair and clothes.

>>110265
She's probably mentally ill, dude.

>>110215
No offense, but this is a really mundane story.

>>110265
Wait, you slept with her?

>>110272
Haha I was wondering the same thing o_O

>>110270
I never said she's sane.

Oh, and she's also very physically undeveloped, she has childlike face and frame and figure and no tits whatsoever (even despite having kids).

One of her ideas to earn some money was to "sell toadpoles to the people, to the pools". Don't ask me.

Well, at least she's not violent or anything, most of the time she's just smiling broadly, like some little happy retard (as opposed to the big angry retards), always optimistic. She's actually pretty sympathic, I think that even this dude with her kids doesn't hate on her, and it's his fault in first place (she slept with me but I didn't bone her).

I don't think she's actually retarded, in fact she applied for disability pension and it was rejected for no actual basis. As, I said she's just very crazy and weird.

Other crazy people that I met at annime club and the cons included this Hellraiser-reject girl in the pic related (the pic taken during the con, mind you), an otaku guy whose room was covered with posters even on the ceiling and part of the floor (I had no camera, which I still regret), a pair of absolutely mythomaniac and paranoid twin sisters (who were kinda hot, nicknamed after certain Mortal Kombat characters, and very smart schoolwise, but crazy as fuck and drama magnets like no other), a dude who later became homeless and would beg by day to spend nights at an internet cafe playing Ragnarok Online, a guy who dressed as Goku and got high and wanted to fight the con security and got banned but would be showing up anyway and try only to ask organisators to fight him when refused, and many various other such colorful characters.

>>110293
...and I was just reading about the film Strangeland earlier...

>>110272
>>110274

Yes, but no hanky-panky, mostly because her life story creeped the shit out of me and also she really looks like a child (if she was any hot, it would be another story). So by sleeping I meant like, sleep over: playing vidya and watching Millenium Actress and sleeping.

I also forgot to say, because I forgot about it altogether, when I saw her last time earlier this year she was pregnant again, apparently with this old dude (and still so ever happy).

>110295

Strangeland?

>>110272

Makes sense, it probably wasn't even worth the time for me to write it.

Thanks for your honesty though.

>>110306
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Strangeland

Fucking polandball weeaboo, gtfo with your fucking shitty grammar

I got a pretty fancy story to share

There is this weird, Asian kid with a weird ass name and I had to sit next to him. He was genuinely fucked in the head. He liked parkour and shitty music (Linkin Park, Marilyn Manson etc.). He was pretty amusing so I just followed him around a bit. Sometimes during class we'd hide his shit and he'd get pissed and one time threw everything off of our table while we were sitting in a group.

I don't have any stories to tell besides those, but he (and his equally fucked up family) did make the newspapers a couple of times. One time, he and his dad got into an argument and it got pretty messy and he beat up his dad. Another time, when a couple of kids were throwing snowballs at their house and they chased him and the dad stabbed one of them. I think he went to prison for that.

>>110397
Rushka yuo of mean again.

>>93409
This lady just posted on Rika Stiles' wall (ADF's friend). It's a really weird coincidence but I'm cracking up because what

my old neighbors were the worst hick trash you could imagine. the father had some serious mommy issues and was bitter he was an unemployed hoarder instead of a doctorate holder like his siblings all were. he tried to put on this 'we are eccentric! we don't care!" vibe out of desperation because he lived in a horrible garbageheap and the EPA would fucking flip if they found him out. All his kids were stunted one way or another, two definitely having retardation. he cheated on his wife and knocked up one of his mistresses TWICE, because he feels like he needs to spread his seed across the lands although every baby hes helped make to date has been like the xenomorph/ripley mutant on the table in alien: resurrection that begs to be killed. his kids do whatever they want and they would be half as retarded as they are if they had a normal home, but he pressures them to act out as much as possible to keep up the eccentric family facade. they all smell like shit and breed like rabbits. there is no conceivable way they aren't a little bit inbred.

>>90463
jesus christ dude what are all these people addicted to? do you live in meth country or is that short for 'addicted to pokemon' or 'addicted to meg from family guy'