auction is here... http://www.ebay.com/itm/Drink-Beer-NYC-Film-Critic-Cole-Smithey-/290621464585?pt=LH_DefaultDomain_0&hash=item43aa63a009#ht_500wt_1202

someone from Europe or australia should win the auction. The auction clearly states that the drinking takes place in NYC. Since the auction only mentions the winner paying for the bar tab, start harassing Cole, asking him when he's going to send the plane tickets. Plane tickets from Europe or Australia to the US are fare more expensive than $250.

I like that none of the bidders had any feedback and were obviously all trolls. You'd think that with no one else bidding he'd get the idea that nobody wants to pay to buy him drinks.

http://offer.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewBids&_trksid=p4340.l2565&rt=nc&item=290611911082

Another auction?

Well now this is just getting plain silly.

MFW chris is a bigger "celebrity" than cole smithey ever will be.

Cole and Chris are exactly alike.

They are both failing at something, then doing the exact same thing over and over, in the hope that the result is different.

Seems like the weston side of the family is the retarded side, while the chandler side of the family isnt as bad. (doctor, bob, that girl etc)

>>111566
How many times has he tried this? This has to be at least the third.

>>111570
Its actually the sixth or seventh I think

Why the hell does he keep putting these up? I mean, hasn't it become clear enough that no one's interested by now?

Is this some sort of parody of those "lunch with Warren Buffett" auctions?

It's getting really hard to look at OP's picture of Cole without realizing he's an already-bald Chris wearing stupid glasses.

>>111577
I just see the claws of fail turned into mitts.
>>111574
I think he's trolling you guys.

>>111563

>implying that person wouldn't lose his money

Did anybody see his YouTube page? Its so sad he barely gets any views...

>>111580
win auction, harass about plane tickets.. dont get tickets, dont pay.

seriously, put your brain back in

>>111582
No it isn't lol

lol without even trying, chris is more popular than cole who tries his hardest.

i hope some JULAY-fag with rich parents wins the auction and meets him and talks about chris

Has anyone been asking him questions about the auction? I'm assuming people have and he just deletes them.

>>111608
I doubt he'll answer any of them, since he is quite clearly under the assumption that he's hot shit and doesn't need to be answering any questions from peasants like us

>>111610
I'm not saying he reads them, just wondering whether or not anyone's even tried posting questions. I don't have an ebay account, personally.

>>111648
I asked him if Chris could come along if I paid to fly him out. Needless to say, he didn't respond.

Chris should do an auction like this

>>111571
You'd think by the second time this auction crashed and burned he'd learn to cut this shit out.

Barb's genes must be a powder keg of 'tard.

I think we should DDOS his site, brahs.

>>111691
No. /cwc/ doesn't violate the law. Besides, DDOS accomplishes nothing.

>>111688
No one who would pay is old enough to drink.

>>111712
Well perhaps they could meet for a nice conversation over a coffee or soda.

He is such a pathetic fuck. Observing his attempts to whore himself out for money fail repeatedly is quite enjoyable.

Also, why the fuck did he write the description in third person?

>>111740
so he can seem sophisticated.

it must piss him off that he is from such a redneck family, so he tries his hardest to compensate that.

nobody has placed a bid yet. lol.

>>111933
The last two times he posted it no one made any bids.

someone please troll this auction

>>112105
I really hope you're trolling and not just an autist.

>>112109
Robert Franklin Chandler

Loaded September 4, 1927

Unloaded September 6, 2011

>>112128
God loadeth, and he unloadeth.

>>111902
That explains why he feels a need to use dem fitty cent werds all da time

Cole and Chris are so much alike it's no wonder Cole never visits anymore. It's like how a lot of sane autistic people avoid Chris because some of his weird tics remind them of themselves and that's uncomfortable. Only the stuff that reminds Cole of himself has nothing to do with autism.

He's been getting active on his yt recently.

www.youtube.com/user/colesmithey

>>112177
This must be a new youtube channel. his old one was http://www.youtube.com/user/JSlivocka
Maybe he thought that his legions of fans couldn't find his channel, so he changed it.
Still, for being the smartest critic in the world, he gets very few views.

>>112183

It's a couple years older than it even, guess it was just his personal account that he's now decided to use for his reviews.

>>112177
>Producer's Log, September 6th, 2011. Well, that fat fuck Bob finally dropped. I celebrated with a bottle of Wynwood beer, microbrewed nearby. Most of the scurillious masses haven't tasted the amber gold of Wynwood, but if any of my legions of fans would like to participate in an eBay auction to share a drink for 250 dollars, the link is in the description.

I suggest we make a project out of this faggot. He's got too much invested in his internet fandom to run away if he gets rocked around by some trolls. His USI will keep him in the fight for a while too.

>>112186

Christ. What a bastard.

>>112202

Uhh...you do get that he never said that, right? Jenga was joking.

I love how he has a random, poorly-taken photograph that appears to have been taken out of a hotel window in Cannes on his homepage. Just to prove that he's BEEN TO CANNES GUISE

Also how all the photographs on his site are links. The thing's a mess, goddamn.

>>112203
I fucking hate that bastard, my god I want to fucking kill him.

After seeing this auction and considering he's re-listed the auction 6 or 7 times, what is he trying to accomplish, who does he think that he is impressing?

I just get the feeling he wants someone to spend money on a plane ticket, hotel stay, and travel expenses, and buy him drinks just he can rub his cock in their face and belittle them. Anyone else get that feeling?

I somewhat suspect Barb had something to do with this. Perhaps she's forcing him into raising her and Chris some money, and Cole, being an egotistical douche, thinks this is the way to.

>>112208
Love you too!

Does he know yet who's his father? lol

So... when are we going to start doing some more direct trolling of him?

>>112224
I think that Cole is well aware of the events in Chris's life and knows better than to respond to anyone attempting to troll him.

I know he doesn't really have contact with the Chandlers, but I'm painfully sure he's been contacted by plenty of trolls and knows what to do.

>>112216

Barb couldn't force him to do shit.

>>112224

Right now. GO!

Has anyone ever taken into consideration that maybe he might just may possibly maybe be joking?

I wonder if he has a real life job.

>>112241

Yes. He's been joking again and again and again and again. He keeps relisting to make sure sees his not at all serious and super hilarious joke.

>>112241

He's spending a decent amount of money on relisting this joke...

>>112246
If he does, he's keeping it under wraps so he can pretend he's a legit film critic who makes a living reviewing movies. Given the amount of time it looks like he spends watching weird movies no one gives a fuck about if he does work it's probably part time.

>>112255
What is "decent"?

>>112254
Exactly. I'm glad you understand.

>>112260
He might work full time. You could go to a movie once a night if you felt like it, especially in a major city like New York. Work, go home and change, have dinner, all that, go see a movie, go to bed. Most people do the same exact thing, only they watch TV instead.

More likely, since he is a film major, he sits on his ass and collects unemployment and blames the economy for why he can't work.

>>112177
>>112177
340 total views? 174 channel views? 5 subscribers? There's no way someone with numbers that pathetic can honestly believe they're famous and worthy of expensive time in their company is there?

I have a feeling like we're missing what's perhaps an obvious joke and chastising this guy when it's not deserved.

>>112265
Possible, I guess. But he seems like he spends a lot of time online and doing stuff relating to his film reviews. I think he's either on unemployment or living off his wife or both.

>>112224
Also I've decided to launch an elaborate, genius trolling plan on the comments section of his profile channel. It's certainly sure to kickstart the next major chapter in Christory, the Clyde Warren saga, I guarantee it!

>>112270
Go out and troll to the extreme!

>>112268

Now hold on just a fucking second ClydeWarren, he only just started using that account for his film reviews 3 weeks ago, on his old account that he was posting film reviews to for over a year he has 34 subscribers! He even got 337 views on one of his videos, give the man the credit he deserves you dick.

>>112269
Well, he is one of Barb's spawn.

>>112273
thank you father! i will!

I wonder what he tells his wife.

>>112316
Wow, look at that mystical glowing pen! Why, it must hold some sort of... divine power! It's almost like his reviews are so brilliantly written that they were penned by Zeus himself!

And those film books from Borders... those are much sought after and coveted by the most knowledgeable and skilled film reviewers...
Yes... this Smithey fellow is really something. Say, I'd be willing to hand over a large sum of money just to be humbled by his presence and the privilege to buy this genius beer!

>>112320
Take your Assburgers back to the CWCki.

>>112328
you mad brah, you mad.

tomFAPPINGTONlaughing.jpg

>>112320
i heard it holds the power of count graduon and the anchuent prophecy

The smartest film critic in all of CWCville.

>>112268
Only 165 Twitter followers, too.
http://twitter.com/#!/colesmithey

>ClydeWarren
>trolling

God, pick one.

>>112346
>thinks twitter followers matters...
hahaha

>>112350
Neither do YouTube subscriptions. I just found it funny that there is another example of the "world's smartest film critic" having a smaller following than the average high-school girl.

>>112186
His voice is a lot higher than I imagined.

>>112354
same... his voice doesnt match his look at all.

>>112346

Ahahahaha. I have the same amount of twitter followers and I don't even create any kind of "content" whatsoever.

>>112455
fake as tits, don't even need to check.

>>112455

tomFAPPINGTONlaughing.jpg

>>112270
you must have trolled him pretty hard, because he delete all the JOOLAY comments from his youtube :(

Cole is exactly what Chris would be if he didn't have autism. And it's not much better.

>>112488
Smug, bald, thin-skinned redneck who thinks his shit doesn't stink?

>>112475
All I did was posted "JOOOOOLAYYYYYYY," on his wall. I thought it was an epic win troll that would take a long time to possibly be matched by any other user of /cwc/. Shame he deleted all his Chris related comments and blocked me cutting the ClydeWarren saga short.

Ah well, my next epic win trolling plan to dig up Bob and throw Cole of a bridge is sure to be a huge hit with my fellow trolls!

ClydeWarren saga? That sounded pretentious.
It ended as it was expected lol

>>112510
fuck yeah

I love how the recommended PayPal donation on his site is $1,000 fucking dollars

>>112573
And right below it is $75.
I guess he's trying to cash in on the hope that someone accidentally donates the wrong amount.

>>112492
Something like that, yeah.

>>112573
>$1000 donation

Are you fucking serious?

>>112749
Yup.

He probably donated the money to himself to make it seem like he's really popular

>>112752

He might not want to know it, but he's a lot like his brother in regards of USI.

I suggest taking him down a notch.

>>112778
Hell, with Chris it's not even his fault. Chris is constantly bombarded by people telling him how great Sonichu is and that they're big fans. He's also a retard so he can't tell they're fucking with him.

What's Cole's excuse?

>>112802
Autism-by-proxy

>>112802
Apparently, directors that no one gives a shit about them tell him that he's "the smartest critic in the world".

>>112805

Well played good sir.

how do we know this is the real cole smithey making auctions, and not some slanderous troll?

>>112989

>Member since: Aug-27-02

>>112346
His facebook fan page is equally sad. No one gives a fuck about him.

>>112989

How would you do that including any sales? I mean if you sell them you gotta deliver.

>>112996
Exactly. The first time he listed it someone bought it for ninety-nine cents and left a posiive feedback indicating they got what they paid for. Probably just some gay guy who misunderstood the auction, but Cole did show up.

>>112268

I wonder what he'd have if not for the Toy Story 3 review and the fact that he's related to the greatest lolcow of all time.

Seriously, that's all he has to his name.

>>113021

He would have what every blonde in NY who says "I'm not really a waitress, I'm actually an actress" has. And what every philosophy major-turned-blogger has. And what every "amateur scriptwriter" in LA has. And so on, and so on.

tl;dr Nothing but ego and self-delusion.

Is Cole still married? If so I think he lives off his wife.

>>113074
So he actually did Chris's dream and got a mommy he could fuck while sitting on his ass watching movies all day.

Wow.

>>113076
What do you mean dream? That's a quickly arriving reality.

>>113083
I was not expecting that response.

So, is it a general consensus that Cole actually doesn't have a job outside his film critic reviews? I mean, he's not published and while his website does have adspace on it, considering how he's pretty much an unknown outside the /cwc/ circle of trolls, I doubt it generates enough income to make a difference.

On that note, a lot of people keep saying that he graduated from university with some bullshit liberal arts degree. Do we know this for sure and if so, what was it and from where?

>>113117
If Ahmedinejad dies next, I'm going to lose my shit

>>113117
Oddly enough an English degree (Cole doesn't have one) with the right type of business classes and a minor in a foreign language (ie to the point your fluent in said language) can actually net you a wide variety of jobs. A family friend works at a large accounting firm as client relations to their larger clients. Essentially she gets to do what Cole wants us to pay for here. Except she actually secures contracts with wealthy folk and discusses culture and what not over expensive meals.

Basically she wines and dines rich people to stick with the accounting firm. Talk about a cushy job.

Then again she's nothing like Cole or Chris, she actually is quite an enjoyable person to be around and she doesn't have USI.

Cole probably has some lame "Film" degree that is easier to get than shitting.

>>113128

He won't

I guarantee it will be the Syrian dude

But he's pretty boring, besides his ridiculous neck.

>>113153

Unfortunately :(


All the interesting dictators died already. The only ones left is Kim Jong il (fat chance he will get revolutionized any time soon) and the crazy motherfucker princes of Saudi Arabia.

>>113160
How about Mugabe?

>>113166
Mugabe is dying of prostate cancer.

>>113170
Well there is always the dictator of Belarus and Dr. Phil look-alike, Alexander Lukashenko.

What about Putin? Oh wait, Putin's awesome!

Man, the whole world is one big orgnized crime syndicate.

>>113185
Putin's got nothing on his underboss Ramzan K., like Putin never even really killed/kidnapped/tortured anyone personally.

>>113194
That's the mark of true gangsta, you don't kill people, you have people you pay to do that.

  >>113197
No, Putin's just incredibly gray and boring, and he's aware of it - all these silly staged photoshoots and videos, as fake as ADF's stupid cosplays, are in part to satisify his complexes.

The vid is about the time when dictators were actually genuinely interesting (and his equally thrilling family). The miniseries is pretty good, but could have been much better - http://www.amazon.com/Was-Saddams-Son-Latif-Yahia/dp/1559703733 is a superior account. Saddam was hardcore, even as a teenager he was a criminal hitman for his uncle. He killed some of his best friends, he killed his wife's brother, he killed his daughters' husbands, he almost killed his elder son, he killed multiple people personally, and even his entry into the politics involved directly taking part in the assassination attempt against the then-dictator of Iraq (Saddam took a bullet and escaped by swimming through the Tigris). He was like an evil Theodore Roosevelt, while Putin is like this high functioning autistic chicken-farmer Himmler but without even anything like Himmler's occult shit to make him any interesting.

  Putin is just totally phony, everything now is fake following his life as a completely unknown faceless bureaucrat, his family is as bland as it could be (his wife is basically locked home), he has never been in a real action of any kind whatsoever (not even in the KGB), and his image-handling people let him go live instead of staging and managing everything in the stunts the results are the painful shit like in this video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TbkGkr0iceI (and even this was not real, as nothing from this concert really went to any charity, of course).

The video is a Russian parody of this show.

>>113188
Pretty much.

It's pretty ridiculous that everyone is assuming Cole is lolcow worthy. We know next to nothing about him aside from an email exchange with chris and that he's a failed movie critic. Maybe he has a job, maybe this is just a hobby, maybe his wife has an incredibly good job, etc. There are so many possibilities. Secondly, do you really think he's going to react exactly like Chris just because they have the same mother? Really?

Everything is speculation based on very little information. You guys have nothing here.

>>113541
Then why not throw out a line and see what bites, eh?

>>113541
Cole tries to use big words to sound like he has a big brain. That's a sign of someone compensating for a tiny-cerebral cock. Just because you have a decent vocabulary it is no reason to try and inject it in casual speech. You come off sounding like a douche bag. His bullshit review of TS3 was patronizing to say the least. That one was made for people who were kids when the first two came out. It was our coming of age story regarding Andy growing up and going off to college. That's what happens to toys. Unless they hold some sort of sentimental value (I have the Star Wars toys my late father bought for me before he died unexpectedly) you tend to discard your toys.

Cole is a pseudo-intellectual just like his brother. Barb's womb is an idiot factory. Cole talks shit about Bob but Bob had a degree that required real work to do. At best Cole has a pathetic film degree. Let's see him try his hand at the hard sciences. Yeah, that's what I fucking thought. Cole's a colossal failure and deserves to be mocked just like his virgin-with-rage brother.

>>113575

>Barb's womb is an idiot factory.

lold

>>113575

Mock him all you want but don't expect him to tard rage on youtube.

>>113583
He already tard rages preemptively with his pseudo intellectual opining of movies. I know plenty of Cole Smitheys in real life. They are all sad people who think they're so profound and wise.

>>113593
This. Take a college-level liberal arts class and you'll see at least 10 Cole Smitheys. The giveaway is if they refer to movie's by director: "Kurosawa's Seven Samurai" instead of just saying "Seven Samurai," for instance. And let's not forget the blind belief that anything they disagree with is evil, backwards, and unintelligent.

>>113601
THIS. FUCKING THIS.

And if you are in a Ph.D. program that attracts a lot of liberal arts faggots, prepare yourself for 4-alarm faggotry. You haven't lived until you've had to sit through an hour long discussion about how cartoon characters made in Japan are really as alive as you and me, and that 50 year old men can identify as young Japanese girls.

>>113601
Guy you're replying to.

It's very frustrating trying to explain certain things to some of fucks I meet in school. Example, I was explaining why feral hogs in the south are hunted constantly given that they are an invasive species that destroy millions of dollars of crops and cause environmental damage. One of the aspies I deal with goes "I don't know about you guys but I don't feel invaded by no little pigs." Never mind this dude has never been face to face with a large boar that is easily capable of slicing you up. Never mind he's never actually talked with farmers whose crops have been damaged severely by an intelligent and elusive pest. Just because he can cite specious reasoning in front of his other pseudo-intellectuals, instantly a legit solution to a legit problem is dismissed by the unwashed little Cole Smithey's in some bullshit class I have to take.

This is a common occurrence. Anyone who disagrees with them instantly becomes this evil ignorant asshole who can only dream to be as enlightened as they are. They lack the concept that people will hold opposing/differing views than their own.

I've dealt with Cole's type way too long to have nothing but contempt for them. Essentially what they are all hipsters. Self-absorbed, conspicuous consumers of culture. It's not enough that they read about obscure subjects, YOU HAVE TO KNOW THEY DO IT!!! They're reading a Gore Vidal novel? Oh you better believe they'll quote it constantly. They just watched some obscure foreign flick? You better be prepared to be sneered at and mocked for hours by them for not giving two shits about some ho-hum film.

Frankly, they're just CWC but without the sonichu comic out and about.

>>113188
Have you read tilly? Look up War Making and State Making as Organized Crime by Charles Tilly, it gives some insight into this although I don't agree with it per se.

>>113618
lol you probably go to a shit school and you're already mad

>>113625
>you're already mad

I'm not the guy who wrote that, but I do believe that was the point.

>>113625
Go to a crappy school? It's an okay school,I ain't even mad bro. I just call it as I see it.

>>113619
Not to thread derail, but I was >>113188 , and I would like to thank you for the suggestion.

How many has he listed this auction? You'd think the first dozen times would make it clear no one wants to pay money to buy him drinks. Jesus was a delusional blowhard.

>>113618
I once took a film analysis class because I needed a humanities credit. Holy shit, you should have seen the tryhard hipsters in that class.

I know a lot about the movie making process. Not enough to become a writer or anything, of course. I just really like movies, and I always listen to director's commentaries.

But I don't quote them in polite conversation, because I'm not a raging faggot with a need to feel intellectually superior.

I wonder if Cole believes trolls are somehow preventing legitimate bids à la Chris' claims of the Green County school board sabotaging the sale of 14 Branchland Court?

>>113718
>Jesus was a delusional blowhard.

I chuckled.

>>113658
Np, I love philosophy so talking about it is always something I enjoy

I love the fact that when you google Cole Smithey, you get a link to the CWCki on the first page of results and there is no wikipedia article about him

>>113739
LOL I didn't even notice my mistake! I meant to say "Jesus what a delusional blowhard". Then again, that statement is kind of accurate as well.

>>113734
Guy you're quoting. I love listening to commentaries on DVDs and if it's topical I'll mention something a director says on a movie. I don't do it like some hipster faggot. I have a buddy who's a total hipster now and thinks his film degree is so amazing. He's a try-hard culture fag to say the least.

I took this humanities course on African American Literature once. There was this 18 year old hipster-type kid in there who always liked to swear, and it sounded like he felt like he was getting away with some shit. The instructor was some early 20's fag who couldn't talk without shaking like he was having a seisure, especially since when he was quoting stories he would have to bust out with an N-bomb and about half the people in the class were black. Long story short, we were talking about some 1700's bullshit and hipster busted out with "WHEN ARE WE GOING TO SAY NIGGER TODAY?" This short black guy got up and ran through the row to his seat and was like "were tired of your mouth" or some shit and hipster just giggled. The black kid grabbed his book and ripped it in half. Hipster started appologizing and the instructor kept saying "ITS NOT WORTH IT!" but he wouldn't leave the front of the hall. Guy grabbed hipster in his seat and pulled him out his seat on the ground and was like "get up trick, I'll knock you down." His friends went from just laughing to pulling him back. The tension was thick. Hipster got up and was like "I'm sorry, okay?" Black guy caught him on the button of his jaw with an overhand shot that made my jaw hurt. His friends backed off He grabbed him by the shirt and started kneeing his chest and ran out. Didn't see too much of Steven after that.

>>111740
Because he's Julius Caesar.

>>112176
>Cole and Chris are so much alike it's no wonder Cole never visits anymore.

They're not really alike. Cole is just very, very insecure about his redneck background. As a result, he tries waaaay too hard to sound clever and comes over as a pretentious pseudo-intellectual fuck. He makes ostentatious use of big and comparatively unusual words, regardless of whether they make sense in context, because he wants to show us all how educated he is.

It makes him an annoying fuck and definitely the kind of jerk-off you'd go out of your way to avoid in social settings but he's also fairly typical of a certain type of Boho art school/film school faggot that's all too common in major cities.

If you go to some areas of NYC or Seattle and throw a rock, chances are you'll hit a Cole Smithey clone. Chris is different. Chris is unique. There's no-one else on the planet who's quite like Chris.

Which I suppose is why, four years after discovering him, I'm still here.

>>112202
It's a joke. Smithey didn't actually write that.

>>113575
>Just because you have a decent vocabulary it is no reason to try and inject it in casual speech.

Actually, if he has a decent vocabulary, he would understand how to use the words appropriately. As it is, it looks like he's gone through a thesaurus picking up every four syllable word he can find and liberally sprinkles them in conversation regardless of whether they're appropriate or not.

Coley Boy does not have a good vocabulary. He just has a scratchpad full of words he's lifted from other sources and which he uses over and over in the hope that we're all as retarded as he is and won't see through him.

>>113778
That's nice. What's your point?

>>113815
so glad you're here to clarify something from last week, anon

>>113778
Maybe because his mom got scared and sent him to live with auntie and uncle in Bel-Air?

>>113816
Kind of like people who use the word "redundant" incorrectly.

>>113818

Anyone who refers to their stepfather as a "mean spirited Republican cur" and uses the phrase "isolate herself with scurrilous mates" while talking to their retarded half brother is a tryhard faggot with access to a thesaurus.

>>113836
I used to work with this guy who would say "I must make my egress now!" every single fucking day like he was a genius for using that word. He also thought perpetual motion devices could work and that people were not allowed to make them because of the power companies. He didn't get the concept of entropy.

>>113601
> And let's not forget the blind belief that anything they disagree with is evil, backwards, and unintelligent.

As opposed to the blind belief that anyone who is better at arts than sciences is pretentious, lazy and stupid?

I have no doubt that Cole goes to the sodomize Wall Street protests.

>>113841
Maybe, but then it'd be more of a case of competing retards. Sure, he'll want to show how he's against Republican curs and try to famewhore, but he'd also have to make himself accountable for his own doucheyness. IMHO, he does the video thing for the same reason Chris does: to make himself an unchallenged voice or something.

>>113825
sauce?

i like how people haven't bothered to even put in fake bids on his last 7 auctions. they just don't care about cole ;_;

>>113887
HOW ABOUT WE GET EMLAY TO HAVE A DATE WITH COLE AND RECORD IT? EPIC WEEN YALL

>>113887
He blocked bids from users with 0 feedback. No one's willing to bid with an account they're actually using.

>>113601
>And let's not forget the blind belief that anything they disagree with is evil, backwards, and unintelligent.

Bro, that's not a characteristic of having an arts degree. It's a characteristic of being an American.

>>113891
TEXAS REPRESENT! BOY HODWY

>>113891
>>That's a characteristic of being human, from any place on Earth, if I'm being honest and not an idiotic troll.

Fixed.

>>113897
OHIO REPRESENT NIGGAS! WHERE MAH BITCHES BE AT?

>>113947
Murder Mitten checking in.

>>113889
And it only took him relisting the auction half a dozen times to figure that one out. God damn.

>>114032
He is the smartest film critic.

>>113947
Hey, I'm in Ohio as well. I know this is sudden, but would you like to meet up (in pickle suits, obviously) and drive to Chris's house and dig up Patti and use one of her leg bones to go ASS TO ASS in a crowded club full of hungry homosexuals?

>>114050
For some reason, I believe him when he says he's from Ohio.

>>113836

*proclivity to isolate herself with scurrilous mates

>>114060
Cole is Chris without da autisum. It's been said before and I'll say it again. Here is what we would have if Chris wasn't autistic

>>114039
in the WORLD

>>114061

Such a simple summation of it all, but it makes a lot of sense.

>>113817
His point is that he is a nigger

>>114106
whats that mean? that your stupid?

bobchandlerinbed.jpg

>>113900
Follow politics in Europe. Then follow politics over here.

In Europe, they can actually accept that the other guy can be wrong without insisting that he's an evil lieberal baby killer or a pussy america-hating faggot liberal.

It's probably the result of our two-party system but we've got a really unhealthy "With me or against me" attitude in this country that you don't find (or at least not to the same degree) in a lot of the other developed nations.

Cole is a good example. He hates republicans because they're evil. He can't take on board the idea that maybe they're republican because they agree with the party's policies or ascribe to its ideologies. No. They're republicans because they're evil and stupid.

The same applies in reverse. Say you're a democrat in a lot of states and you'll get asked why you hate Jesus and want to kill babies.

>>114174
What about my stupid?

>>114106

Damn my autism meter just flared up.

>>114050
SHIT YEAH! You dig up Patti, I'll provide a distraction by throwing pickles at Chris.

>>113836

Yeah. Nobody seriously uses the word "cur" as an insult these days.

He put it up , again.....what the fuck this is just getting plain pathetic now

http://www.ebay.com/itm/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=290624365572

Aw, it's just kind of embarrassing now. The least watched guys on reviewtopia get more hits than he does and he STILL thinks someone will pay $250 to buy him beer.

What does it cost to list an ebay auction? He could have bought a 6 pack instead and paid a bum to listen to him talk about movies.

>>114673
I wonder if Chris would get any bidders if he made a auction to talk about Sonichu with him at a mcdonalds or something.

>>114687
*Serious bidders

>>114061
In other words he'd still be failing at some creative field, and have a huge case of USI. Something about Barb's parenting turns her kids into huge narcissists. I have to wonder if Cole realizes the main source of his "efame" is because of his retarded brother.

>>114687
I'd bid if it was less than 250 dollars

>>114714
Realistically, what would be your maximum bid limit be?
$50? $100? $5?

>>114713
That and the ones who don't know him for Chris know him for his retarded e-Freud analysis of TS3. Fuck him, TS3 was for the fans from the 90's. Of course being an unhappy little hippie, he can't stand other people having fun. Ever notice Bob wasn't out to stop other people's fun? Yet Cole, the ahem "enlightened" individual, does?

>>114718
probably 100

I think my max bid for Chris would be $25. I never go much higher than that when I donate to charity, so I certainly wouldn't go higher than that for Chris.

I know this was said before in the last thread but I fucking hate the little viewfinder thing he does with his hands at the start of his reviews, it makes me want to hit him

>The bar tab will be on you, but Cole will buy the first round of beer.
>The bar tab will be on you

I have to keep re-reading this part to make sure I'm not going insane.
So, not only are you, the esteemed bidder, paying for the UNPRECEDENTED PRIVELEGE of drinking with Cole, but will be expected to pick up the tab of 3 hours worth of drinking (minus the first round; what a generous guy, that Cole!).

...How the fuck does this man not get punched in the face on a regular basis?

What a fucking douchebag.

I've read thousands of times that "Cole is Chris without autism".
To me he's as autistic as Chris.

>>114899
Cole definitely isn't autistic since he appears to have communication skills, and his mental age is almost his actual age.

You seem to be confusing autism with sociopathy. Both Chris and Cole are sociopaths.

So has anyone thought of contacting Cole and telling him about us?

Seriousy. His ego is clearly huge and maybe we can get some laughs out of him trying to justify himself.

>>114927
Cole disregards anything relating to Chris and doesn't reply to queries from inferior beings, so he would ignore a forum full of peasants like us.

>>114927
i thought about it, but im not sure if it is a good idea though. what does everyone else think?

He's had that silly auction up for weeks now with not a single serious bid.

Can't he take a clue?

>>117055
No, it appears not.
He's relisted AGAIN, unsurprisingly.

http://www.ebay.com/itm/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=290627377031

>>117147
so what does that make it now? 5 dollars for re-entry?

>>117147
>Cole will hang out with you for three hours at a West Village bar of his choosing to drink great craft beer (think Green Flash Imperial IPA)
>drink great craft beer
>craft beer
God, what a fucking douche. Don't get me wrong, I like micro brewed stuff. But I doubt this faggot can even tell the difference. He probably just likes it because it's "artisan".

>>114907
lol, nope

>>117151
You know, typically, people either say "He likes it but so do I so it's fine" or "He likes it and I don't so that's why he's a douche" but you've gone and taken the unprecedented third option. "He likes it and so do I but he probably likes it differently from how I like it so he's a douche."

>>117217
You have a point, but considering Cole's all-but-confirmed douche status, I agree with that anonymous hero.

>>117149
I wonder if Cole will stop when he realizes he's spent the 250 on relisting this shit.

>>117221
How much does it cost to relist? Is it the same as listing the first time?

How much does it cost to re-list something on ebay?

>>121192

In the 5 days no one replied to you, you could have fucking googled it.

  Editing skills worthy of his brother.
Don't worry, you only need to watch the first 12 seconds.

>>122141

hahaha

gif related

>>121192
I've never listed in the services category, but they've been giving everyone 50 free listings a month recently, plus the older thing where you can relist for free and only pay fees if it sells.

As much as it would make us laugh, Cole's ebay monument to his own ego probably isn't costing him a penny.

>>114884
Then there's the fact that he'll only drink craft brews. So not only are you paying the small fee of $250, you're spending ~$10 times however many beers two guys can suck down in 3 hours. It wouldn't surprise me if the fucker started ordering food either.

"There are only two kinds of movies, good or bad." - Cole Smithey

THE SMARTEST FILM CRITIC IN THE WOOORRLLLLDDD

SMITHAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYY

Really, REALLY reminds me of this guy.

>>122279

I loled

>>122296
Every time casting for a fantasy Chris-chan movie comes up, he's always the first choice to play Cole.

>>122397
That's because David Cross is good at playing ridiculous characters

>>122149

>>122495
I guess every time he puts it up and it doesn't sell it hurts his ego a little.

>>122141
he removed the video?

>>122149
Hmmm. If that is the case then why not bring up the possibility that it is a dumb hipster joke? People always shoot down that possibility because it costs money, but apparently it doesn't.

>>123037
>dumb hipster joke

Are you saying Cole himself is perpetrating this joke, or a spoof account pretending to be Cole?
Because either way, it would still be a dumb hipster joke.

>>123041
Cole himself of course. He's not retarded I don't think, so either he actually has a bigger ego than Roger Waters or he's just doing it for fun/no reason. Cole knows his fanbase consists of people who like fucking with his family, so why not play along?

oh wow he reuploaded it and edited out the mistake.

is he lolcow material?

>>122149

Damn, that sucks.

I remember a while back some troll had bid thousands of dollars on this. What happened with that?

>>124369
Cole changed it so only accounts with a high user rating could place bids. Anyone here who actually uses ebay regularly didn't want to sully their accounts, or even possibly dox themselves.

>>124369
He won and paid up. Cole is relisting to collect further funds.