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No. 493
>>487
I feel sorry for Love-shy.com. It is only a support forum in name, it's only 'love-shy' in name, in actuality, it's a community of members. Love-shy.com is only what it's members make it. Support comes in many forms and in some way, by relating to other posts then you gain support. Yes, there is freedom of speech but when that extends to the point where people can become obnoxious and offensive without reason then it should be stopped or at least effectively quelled. I can understand people might need that outlet, but so do many other people, and it can become VERY hostile to those who can't fight back from the very beginning.
When I first came to the forum, I honestly thought it was a great place. I thought I could relate to others and many people would relate back to me. At first, this happened with a few select posters, but then, after a while, things took a turn for the worse. Rather than diplomacy, there was divisiveness. It came to the point where if you couldn't aggressively defend your own beliefs (of romance, of intimacy, of affection, or, of equality, etc.) then you were ridiculed, harassed, and labelled by those already more out-spoken and well-established posters. Ultimately, I kinda felt betrayed by my own forum and if I knew what it was actually like I probably wouldn't have joined in the first place. I felt sad and angry. I felt bullied.
Unfortunately, I never really retaliated. I should have from the start, it probably would have been for the better. I kept my discontent quiet and thus it began to grow till I was resentful of what the original forum had become. A few months on the forum anyone would realize that there are, in a sense, 2 distinctions between neutral and extreme posters, and 2 distinctions between Aggressive and Melancholic posters. 4 quadrants always passive aggressively ridiculing each other in a ongoing battle of attrition. It's been that way for months and whenever a new member comes in with the minority or opposing views the bias and the hostility is all too apparent. Not to mention, if you 'fit' a certain category then you are unofficially exempt from criticism or feedback? Not to mention protected or even encouraged?!
It's funny, you can even bait certain members by acting out of character. For example, just add in a few misogynistic words and you'll be praised for 'being a tough guy', no, seriously, actually praised. Also, you get such extreme stances where any outsider would think it a parody. And the situation is that the extreme posters are the most outspoken posters and there is little done to effectively counter them, or, any counter is responded with childish negativity. Thus, there is little unity or if there is then it is only a facade. And therefore, there is a divide and this divide only becomes stronger. Yes, I know this sounds like some legend of an epic battle, but really, after a while the opposing views become more and more fanatical and eventually members take sides and join the circle-jerk. Ultimately, people are not really supported or different views appreciated, but people are unified and labelled and brought to a certain mentality.
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