[03/16/12 16:10:08 ] Kaylee : hi
[03/16/12 16:17:21 ] Michael : Sorry...
[03/16/12 16:17:26 ] Michael : We're all having a baaaaaaaaaaaad night
[03/16/12 16:17:30 ] Kaylee : ?
[03/16/12 16:17:37 ] Michael : Mom came home in tears
[03/16/12 16:17:42 ] Michael : My dad's an ass
[03/16/12 16:17:53 ] Kaylee : how did that happen?
[03/16/12 16:18:07 ] Michael : The same it always happens
[03/16/12 16:18:17 ] Michael : He ruins everything with his bitchiness
[03/16/12 16:18:39 ] Kaylee : what was he being bitchy about
[03/16/12 16:19:01 ] Michael : What difference does it make
[03/16/12 16:19:07 ] Michael : he botches over the STUPIDEST things
[03/16/12 16:19:28 ] Kaylee : well what was this situation about
[03/16/12 16:20:31 ] Michael : I have no idea... I wasn't there
[03/16/12 16:20:38 ] Michael : and I don't care even
[03/16/12 16:20:43 ] Michael : I'm sure it was something stupid
[03/16/12 16:20:51 ] Michael : But as usual... he blames everyone but himself
[03/16/12 16:21:22 ] Kaylee : seems like you have a lot of rough days
[03/16/12 16:22:07 ] Michael : Days...?!
[03/16/12 16:22:14 ] Michael : *Laughing*
[03/16/12 16:22:37 ] Michael : Not even 0.5% close
[03/16/12 16:23:22 ] Michael : .
[03/16/12 16:23:41 ] Michael : Ever since I was... 3!!!
[03/16/12 16:23:59 ] Kaylee : maybe things aren't as bad as they seem
[03/16/12 16:24:09 ] Michael : Lets see...
[03/16/12 16:24:20 ] Michael : in 2002 he bashed the house up wth a bat and chainsaw
[03/16/12 16:24:36 ] Michael : When I was 19 he wrecked my Grand parents 50th Wedding aniversery
[03/16/12 16:25:06 ] Michael : In 2009 he got cranky cause he hadn't had breakfast but was willing to drag me into a restaraunt... WHEN I WAS SICK and should have been at home
[03/16/12 16:25:19 ] Michael : Then in that same year of june he punched my mom in the eye
[03/16/12 16:25:21 ] Michael : ...
[03/16/12 16:25:28 ] Michael : Well....!
[03/16/12 16:25:49 ] Kaylee : ok that is pretty bad
[03/16/12 16:26:12 ] Michael : Broke a chair over my sister's head
[03/16/12 16:26:30 ] Michael : Was willing to punish a whole school by not driving me to a gig I had
[03/16/12 16:27:06 ] Michael : Yelled at a receptionist becuase she was talking on the phone...
[03/16/12 16:27:07 ] Michael : ...
[03/16/12 16:27:43 ] Kaylee : that's not a situation you want to stay in
[03/16/12 16:28:07 ] Michael : But I have no choice
[03/16/12 16:29:20 ] Kaylee : I thought you said you didn't want to move out because it wouldn't make things any better
[03/16/12 16:29:21 ] Kaylee : but
[03/16/12 16:29:30 ] Kaylee : it seems like it would be a lot better than the situation you're in now
[03/16/12 16:30:33 ] Michael : Nope...
[03/16/12 16:30:41 ] Michael : it would make me more parioind and at risk
[03/16/12 16:30:46 ] Michael : I can't do a lot of things
[03/16/12 16:31:09 ] Kaylee : probably because you're not used to doing them
[03/16/12 16:31:24 ] Michael : No...
[03/16/12 16:31:27 ] Michael : Proabbly becuase...
[03/16/12 16:31:37 ] Michael : I've never even SEEN THEM being done in my LIFE
[03/16/12 16:32:17 ] Michael : I don't even know what a Mortgage... Bill... or Tax document even LOOKS like
[03/16/12 16:32:47 ] Kaylee : that's the kind of stuff you can google if you really need to
[03/16/12 16:33:08 ] Kaylee : if most people do that stuff eventually it can't be all that complicated right?
[03/16/12 16:33:19 ] Michael : Nope...
[03/16/12 16:33:21 ] Michael : I tried...
[03/16/12 16:33:24 ] Michael : and I hurt myself
[03/16/12 16:33:37 ] Kaylee : how?
[03/16/12 16:34:40 ] Michael : I can't understand it at all...
[03/16/12 16:34:51 ] Michael : And it knocks me crazy
[03/16/12 16:35:09 ] Kaylee : maybe you were already in a bad mood when you started
[03/16/12 16:35:26 ] Kaylee : I'm sure you could figure it out if you relaxed a little
[03/16/12 16:36:18 ] Michael : No...
[03/16/12 16:36:24 ] Michael : Even when I'm relaxed
[03/16/12 16:36:28 ] Michael : I don't... udnerstand...
[03/16/12 16:37:06 ] Kaylee : that doesn't mean you can never understand
[03/16/12 16:37:14 ] Kaylee : it just means you didn't figure it out when you tried
[03/16/12 16:37:41 ] Michael : I was never taught these things
[03/16/12 16:38:06 ] Kaylee : well again google can probably help you out
[03/16/12 16:38:52 ] Michael : NEver mind
[03/16/12 16:39:02 ] Michael : Besides... I'm always working
[03/16/12 16:39:09 ] Michael : I don't have time for these things...
[03/16/12 16:39:15 ] Michael : And why would I anyway?
[03/16/12 16:39:29 ] Kaylee : well to get away from your dad I assume
[03/16/12 16:39:35 ] Kaylee : or maybe there's something else I'm missing here
[03/16/12 16:39:36 ] Michael : No...
[03/16/12 16:39:47 ] Michael : If I ever move out (which I can't)
[03/16/12 16:39:51 ] Michael : I'm never coming back...
[03/16/12 16:39:59 ] Michael : Not to visit...
[03/16/12 16:40:05 ] Michael : No phone calls...
[03/16/12 16:40:14 ] Michael : I wasn't born... I just came alive
[03/16/12 16:40:23 ] Michael : "I have... NO... Family!!"
[03/16/12 16:40:28 ] Michael : *Slams door*
[03/16/12 16:40:48 ] Kaylee : right I imagine I'd feel the same way in that situation
[03/16/12 16:41:13 ] Kaylee : but putting up with them now seems much worse than doing whatever you have to in order to move away
[03/16/12 16:41:42 ] Michael : Even if I moved out I wouldn't get to talk to you anymore either
[03/16/12 16:41:56 ] Kaylee : couldn't you get a computer/internet
[03/16/12 16:42:06 ] Michael : No computers allowed
[03/16/12 16:42:11 ] Michael : Remember the Rule?
[03/16/12 16:42:16 ] Kaylee : oh right
[03/16/12 16:42:42 ] Kaylee : well you might have to condition yourself not to use it for stuff that would act as triggers
[03/16/12 16:42:45 ] Kaylee : butt
[03/16/12 16:42:47 ] Kaylee : *but
[03/16/12 16:42:55 ] Kaylee : that sounds a lot better than the way things are going now
[03/16/12 16:43:32 ] Kaylee : and for that matter it sounds like your mom/sister might want to make some kind of change too
[03/16/12 16:43:40 ] Kaylee : I don't know all the details but it sounds pretty bad
[03/16/12 16:44:38 ] Kaylee : maybe it would help if you didn't look at it as all or nothing
[03/16/12 16:44:53 ] Michael : Sorry but that's the way I plan it
[03/16/12 16:44:59 ] Michael : Here's am example...
[03/16/12 16:45:12 ] Michael : I've captured Raven and Terra...
[03/16/12 16:45:29 ] Michael : I'll give BB some pity... he may have ONLY ONE
[03/16/12 16:45:34 ] Michael : The other... I will murder
[03/16/12 16:45:44 ] Michael : And if he doesn't choose...
[03/16/12 16:45:49 ] Michael : I'll murder them BOTH
[03/16/12 16:46:02 ] Michael : Either way... someone's not going to be spared
[03/16/12 16:46:03 ] Michael : ...
[03/16/12 16:46:15 ] Kaylee : I think that's a pretty popular game theory problem
[03/16/12 16:46:23 ] Kaylee : a more intense version of the prisoner's dilemma
[03/16/12 16:46:28 ] Kaylee : except yours has only one chooser
[03/16/12 16:46:34 ] Kaylee : I think I get what you're saying though
[03/16/12 16:46:57 ] Kaylee : but I was thinking you could like
[03/16/12 16:47:06 ] Kaylee : get a part time job without too many hours
[03/16/12 16:47:23 ] Michael : Impossible
[03/16/12 16:47:28 ] Michael : Not allowed to
[03/16/12 16:47:37 ] Kaylee : what why
[03/16/12 16:48:12 ] Michael : I have a pension by the government
[03/16/12 16:48:28 ] Michael : I have been told not to get a job unless it's one that meets my standards
[03/16/12 16:48:41 ] Michael : And if I do geta  job... Ilose then pension forever
[03/16/12 16:50:07 ] Kaylee : ok that does complicate things
[03/16/12 16:50:19 ] Kaylee : but there's probably still some kind of solution
[03/16/12 16:50:49 ] Kaylee : I mean if you can make money without it actually showing up on your income, problem solved
[03/16/12 16:51:14 ] Michael : Nope
[03/16/12 16:51:18 ] Michael : I also can't travel alone
[03/16/12 16:51:26 ] Michael : And I refuse to take buses or cabs
[03/16/12 16:51:32 ] Kaylee : why would you refuse to take buses?
[03/16/12 16:51:39 ] Michael : I don't want to pay
[03/16/12 16:51:43 ] Michael : and Id on't know the routes
[03/16/12 16:52:14 ] Kaylee : how much does a bus ride cost in your area?
[03/16/12 16:54:09 ] Michael : I think 2 and half bucks
[03/16/12 16:54:29 ] Kaylee : is there an option of buying a bus pass
[03/16/12 16:54:39 ] Michael : Not that I know of
[03/16/12 16:54:50 ] Michael : and like Is aid I still don't knwo the ways or to identify busses
[03/16/12 16:55:00 ] Kaylee : well they should be numbered
[03/16/12 16:55:15 ] Kaylee : I'm not sure how different things are there than here but
[03/16/12 16:55:33 ] Kaylee : there should probably be numbers at the bus stops showing which buses stop there
[03/16/12 16:56:31 ] Kaylee : you could look up the transit system for your area, maybe they have a map
[03/16/12 16:56:53 ] Michael : You don't understand...
[03/16/12 16:56:57 ] Michael : All this to me is like...
[03/16/12 16:57:01 ] Michael : ...Going back to school!
[03/16/12 16:57:12 ] Kaylee : but
[03/16/12 16:57:16 ] Kaylee : there aren't mean teachers
[03/16/12 16:57:26 ] Michael : I hated school Period!
[03/16/12 16:57:31 ] Michael : Not just for mean teachers
[03/16/12 16:58:03 ] Kaylee : well what's wrong with trying to learn about new stuff?
[03/16/12 16:58:14 ] Michael : I hate it so much
[03/16/12 16:58:24 ] Michael : It really does make me litteraly sick to my stomach
[03/16/12 16:58:57 ] Kaylee : that sounds like it might be at the center of your problems
[03/16/12 16:59:10 ] Michael : I hated school for
[03/16/12 16:59:15 ] Michael : Waking up SUPER early
[03/16/12 16:59:21 ] Michael : hurting myself to get ready
[03/16/12 16:59:24 ] Michael : rush breakfast
[03/16/12 16:59:30 ] Michael : Wash...
[03/16/12 16:59:31 ] Michael : teeth
[03/16/12 16:59:35 ] Michael : Dress...
[03/16/12 16:59:42 ] Michael : Run out into the frigid cold
[03/16/12 16:59:48 ] Michael : Be unable ot to warm/wake up
[03/16/12 16:59:54 ] Michael : Learn thigns I have no interest in...
[03/16/12 17:00:03 ] Michael : and waste my time trying to stay awake
[03/16/12 17:00:18 ] Kaylee : well now you can learn stuff that's useful
[03/16/12 17:00:24 ] Kaylee : think of it this way
[03/16/12 17:00:35 ] Kaylee : if you learn to ride a bus, you can get that many miles further from your dad
[03/16/12 17:00:42 ] Kaylee : that's an immediate reward right there isn't it?
[03/16/12 17:01:01 ] Kaylee : and you don't really have to get up super early
[03/16/12 17:01:21 ] Kaylee : at least it's not for sure that you will
[03/16/12 17:01:30 ] Michael : Um...
[03/16/12 17:01:39 ] Michael : 6:30 in the morning?
[03/16/12 17:01:45 ] Kaylee : no you misunderstood
[03/16/12 17:01:52 ] Kaylee : I wasn't saying you didn't have to get up early before
[03/16/12 17:02:03 ] Kaylee : just that learning this stuff now won't require you to get up that early
[03/16/12 17:02:10 ] Kaylee : anyways, I wake up at 2 AM
[03/16/12 17:02:12 ] Michael : But it doesn't matter
[03/16/12 17:02:17 ] Kaylee : so I'v eproven it can be done
[03/16/12 17:02:18 ] Michael : 2 am
[03/16/12 17:02:26 ] Michael : I don't go to be until then
[03/16/12 17:02:36 ] Kaylee : that's probably why you have trouble getting up early
[03/16/12 17:02:44 ] Kaylee : staying up late causes depression so
[03/16/12 17:02:53 ] Kaylee : maybe sleeping slightly earlier might make you feel better
[03/16/12 17:03:01 ] Michael : But I'm supposed to be depressed
[03/16/12 17:03:11 ] Michael : Besides... I can't sleep anyway
[03/16/12 17:03:31 ] Kaylee : it might be learned insomnia
[03/16/12 17:03:40 ] Michael : IT is...
[03/16/12 17:03:44 ] Michael : and it's unbreakable
[03/16/12 17:03:55 ] Kaylee : have you tried melatonin? it works great for me
[03/16/12 17:04:07 ] Kaylee : it's non-habit forming so it won't mess you up if you run out either
[03/16/12 17:04:14 ] Kaylee : like most sleep medicines do
[03/16/12 17:04:42 ] Michael : Not a bit sleepy
[03/16/12 17:04:56 ] Michael : I'm just too angry...
[03/16/12 17:05:06 ] Kaylee : was that in response to the melatonin or
[03/16/12 17:05:09 ] Kaylee : I'm confused
[03/16/12 17:05:18 ] Michael : Melatonin doesn't work on me
[03/16/12 17:05:22 ] Kaylee : ah
[03/16/12 17:05:24 ] Michael : if anything... I feel mor ewide awake than ever
[03/16/12 17:05:31 ] Kaylee : well
[03/16/12 17:05:38 ] Kaylee : 1) were you taking it right before bed?
[03/16/12 17:05:44 ] Kaylee : and 2) were you taking the 1 mg or the 3 mg?
[03/16/12 17:06:01 ] Kaylee : because I had the exact same problem
[03/16/12 17:06:11 ] Michael : Taking it an hour before bed
[03/16/12 17:06:17 ] Kaylee : I usually do 3 or more hours
[03/16/12 17:06:21 ] Kaylee : and 3 mg is really bad
[03/16/12 17:06:23 ] Michael : 5-10 MG
[03/16/12 17:06:27 ] Kaylee : lol that's even worse
[03/16/12 17:06:33 ] Kaylee : no wonder it wasn't helping
[03/16/12 17:06:40 ] Kaylee : even 3 mg is bad enough to make it worse
[03/16/12 17:06:51 ] Kaylee : they really shouldn't even make doses that high
[03/16/12 17:07:07 ] Kaylee : but yeah, I recommend the 1 mg about 3 hours before you go to bed
[03/16/12 17:07:54 ] Michael : There's no such product here
[03/16/12 17:08:08 ] Michael : 3 is as low as you go
[03/16/12 17:08:21 ] Kaylee : hm
[03/16/12 17:08:33 ] Kaylee : 1 might be hard to track down but it's well worth it if you can
[03/16/12 17:08:50 ] Kaylee : I have some sitting next to me so maybe I can figure out something useful by looking at the packaging?
[03/16/12 17:09:31 ] Kaylee : well the brand name is "nature's bounty"
[03/16/12 17:10:15 ] Michael : Besides... like I said it doens't work
[03/16/12 17:10:30 ] Michael : Teen Titans and Bye Bye Nikki... are making my anger too strong
[03/16/12 17:10:46 ] Kaylee : well sometimes I go to sleep feeling angry or sad
[03/16/12 17:10:57 ] Kaylee : but ever since I started taking melatonin, it doesn't affect my sleep too much
[03/16/12 17:11:09 ] Kaylee : anyways, 3mg didn't help me at all either
[03/16/12 17:11:13 ] Michael : Good for you
[03/16/12 17:11:15 ] Michael : bad for me
[03/16/12 17:11:17 ] Michael : When I'm angry
[03/16/12 17:11:20 ] Michael : I'm ready for a fight
[03/16/12 17:11:32 ] Michael : or to make Terra or Nikki suffer
[03/16/12 17:11:48 ] Kaylee : I still think you give up on these improvement ideas too easily
[03/16/12 17:11:53 ] Kaylee : I really think we were onto something just now
[03/16/12 17:12:07 ] Michael : I don't wish to improve like that
[03/16/12 17:12:13 ] Michael : Once the task is done...
[03/16/12 17:12:17 ] Michael : you don't seek a new purpose
[03/16/12 17:12:21 ] Michael : You're just done...
[03/16/12 17:12:27 ] Michael : it's time for you to go
[03/16/12 17:12:46 ] Michael : ...some place where things go to disapear
[03/16/12 17:13:08 ] Kaylee : see I think if you just made a few small changes, your attitude might start to change too
[03/16/12 17:13:20 ] Michael : What good would that do
[03/16/12 17:13:31 ] Michael : I still wish for no romance... no offline friends and to remain in the shadows
[03/16/12 17:13:52 ] Kaylee : well you can still find little ways to make yourself happier here and there
[03/16/12 17:13:59 ] Michael : No...
[03/16/12 17:14:03 ] Michael : ...you choose one
[03/16/12 17:14:06 ] Michael : ...only one
[03/16/12 17:14:12 ] Kaylee : but why
[03/16/12 17:14:19 ] Michael : Becuase thinka bout it...
[03/16/12 17:14:26 ] Michael : Phsycially... you can only go down ONE road
[03/16/12 17:14:43 ] Michael : And comprimising by breakign the cookie in half... that doens't get you what you wanted (the WHOLE thing)
[03/16/12 17:14:56 ] Kaylee : I don't accept the analogy
[03/16/12 17:15:06 ] Michael : But it's the truth
[03/16/12 17:15:10 ] Kaylee : if you figure out how to save time, then you have more time to find more ways to save time
[03/16/12 17:15:25 ] Michael : Breaking a cookie in half is not getting the whole thing... so you didn't get what you really wanted
[03/16/12 17:15:32 ] Kaylee : and if you make yourself happier, you have a better attitude and can be more motivated to do more things
[03/16/12 17:15:44 ] Michael : I'm sorry if I'm pissing you off
[03/16/12 17:15:51 ] Michael : but I'm only motivated by negativity
[03/16/12 17:15:55 ] Kaylee : it's ok
[03/16/12 17:16:03 ] Michael : Just like Count Bleck
[03/16/12 17:16:13 ] Michael : HEck I even wrote it in my own story...
[03/16/12 17:16:50 ] Michael : "Michael's personality soon faded away... and he became Mykan. A Creature motivated by Rage, Despair, hatred, and remorse"
[03/16/12 17:17:39 ] Kaylee : I still say it wouldn't have to be that way if you'd just make little improvements to fix problems one at a time
[03/16/12 17:18:00 ] Michael : That's just it...
[03/16/12 17:18:04 ] Michael : some I don't want to be repaired...
[03/16/12 17:18:14 ] Michael : I sai dI'd never do some things and I intend to keep it...
[03/16/12 17:18:32 ] Michael : Like... if I was evil... and you or other peole were' willing to fogive me and give me another chance...
[03/16/12 17:18:37 ] Michael : I'd say NO... and runa way
[03/16/12 17:19:12 ] Michael : Heck that was my idea for an alternate End of ends ending
[03/16/12 17:19:26 ] Michael : No matter what happens... no happy ending
[03/16/12 17:19:44 ] Kaylee : well if you've already resigned yourself to that, then that's part of the problem right there
[03/16/12 17:20:06 ] Michael : Do you have to go soon?
[03/16/12 17:20:12 ] Kaylee : yeah
[03/16/12 17:20:21 ] Michael : Okay then...
[03/16/12 17:20:28 ] Kaylee : ~10-20 minutes
[03/16/12 17:20:41 ] Michael : Still... that's how I opperate
[03/16/12 17:20:47 ] Michael : The guy gets the girl or...
[03/16/12 17:20:50 ] Michael : I want him to die...
[03/16/12 17:21:08 ] Michael : I'll kill him myself if I have to
[03/16/12 17:21:30 ] Kaylee : I'm confused
[03/16/12 17:21:38 ] Michael : I live for a the darkness
[03/16/12 17:21:50 ] Michael : If Davis loses Kari
[03/16/12 17:21:53 ] Michael : BB loses Terra
[03/16/12 17:22:03 ] Michael : Jonesy loses Nikki
[03/16/12 17:22:09 ] Michael : Then I want them to die
[03/16/12 17:22:32 ] Michael : I've killed BB twice... and I should've kille dhim again but didn't
[03/16/12 17:22:36 ] Michael : Davis has died 3 times
[03/16/12 17:22:40 ] Michael : and Jonesy almost died once
[03/16/12 17:23:10 ] Kaylee : maybe it's because you can't stand the thought of wanting and hoping for something really important but then being disappointed
[03/16/12 17:23:21 ] Michael : Yes!
[03/16/12 17:23:28 ] Michael : I prefer a Ransik battle...
[03/16/12 17:23:52 ] Michael : Every show I've ever seen was a disaster
[03/16/12 17:24:34 ] Kaylee : yeah a lot of them have those kinds of moments
[03/16/12 17:24:54 ] Michael : Not alot
[03/16/12 17:24:56 ] Michael : all of them
[03/16/12 17:25:01 ] Kaylee : ok all of them
[03/16/12 17:25:08 ] Michael : Every last one I ever saw
[03/16/12 17:25:22 ] Michael : Sometimes I even imagine myself...
[03/16/12 17:25:28 ] Michael : getting ready to go on a mass murder Ransik fight
[03/16/12 17:26:30 ] Kaylee : I guess those shows aren't good places to escape if they still have the characters dealing with harsh realities
[03/16/12 17:27:29 ] Michael : But where can I run to?
[03/16/12 17:27:49 ] Michael : I even have fictional plans to destroy beautiful places
[03/16/12 17:27:59 ] Michael : So only the hate and fear remains
[03/16/12 17:28:24 ] Kaylee : well maybe that can be your way for getting those feelings out into to words, and you can have happier stories just for escaping
[03/16/12 17:28:37 ] Kaylee : unless that's already what you're going for
[03/16/12 17:29:13 ] Michael : No...
[03/16/12 17:29:19 ] Michael : No happiness
[03/16/12 17:29:25 ] Michael : It's going down
[03/16/12 17:29:27 ] Michael : all of it
[03/16/12 17:30:19 ] Kaylee : I think it'd be a big relief for you if you could break out of that mindset... but I'm not sure how you can
[03/16/12 17:31:50 ] Kaylee : anyways... I gtg, so 
[03/16/12 17:31:53 ] Michael : IT's too late
[03/16/12 17:32:03 ] Kaylee : well I don't think it is
[03/16/12 17:32:09 ] Kaylee : anyways, hang in there
[03/16/12 17:32:15 ] Kaylee : see you tomorrow