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565 No. 565
Sorry...

I'm having a crisis of nihilism.

I wouldn't complain, fearful that someone's just going to dismiss it as whiny teenage emo stupid (I'm not a teenager anymore, but that's beside the point). But I feel I need to ask something. Sorry. I don't care if I get a real answer, but attempting one would be appreciated - though I know that this is no place to get any real help. Sorry.


But, seriously? What's the point? I don't mean what's the point of living, but what's the point of trying to live? I'm not looking for some great eternal platitude (for God's will or whatever), but what is the point of trying to live?

Everything decays - efforts, beauty, nothing is immune. What you fight for today will be the laughing stock of the future - when some evil bastard uses it to slaughter millions, or when stupid idiots on something like tumbler do to it what SJ's done to so-called progressivism. You can't make any meaningful contribution to anything - if it isn't erased with your death, if it isn't erased with the death of your descendants, then it will be erased with the expanse of the Sun.


Learning, enjoying yourself, fucking around... These are just little creature comforts to keep one entertained before decay makes your bones hurt and your heart dies, choking you to death with no power to stop it.

Joy... Happiness or Bliss, Ecstasy or Euphoria - all of these, do they really outweigh all the pain in life? Who wants to experience humiliation that's borderline guaranteed in life?

Who wants to experience another cold? Who wants to experience shit or ingrown nails or anything of the sort?

And real pain? Very few people know real pain - noone here's lived through a death camp, I'm sure. And the people living in real poverty, the people who experienced the mess in former Yugoslavia, the people who've seen the cultural revolution and the recent revolutions... It's all bloodshed - but get this? You know, every time you feel like giving up because you can't deal with some trite personal crap with a chick or not being able to keep up with your academic whatever? Well, what about all those people? Those people who've lived through so much? What would they think of someone with such trifle problems? Then, one feels like such a stupid ingrate that maybe it would be best just to throw it all away.


After all, what is there to work for? What is there to do, that has real meaning? If there is no real meaning... what then? Making up an excuse to live... Isn't that no different than lying to oneself?

I guess, why do you live? How do you justify your existence?

I want to follow the pic's advice... but, maybe I'm just too fucking stupid, but... how?
>> No. 566
I don't see what your problem is, really.

Yes, everything is limited and finite and impermanent and rarely explainable (satisfactorily, anyways).
Yes, the things you currently find enjoyable are fleeting.

My question to you is: Why is that an issue?

Why do you believe that impermanence equals irrelevance/insignificance?

>After all, what is there to work for? What is there to do, that has real meaning? If there is no real meaning... what then? Making up an excuse to live... Isn't that no different than lying to oneself?

Nope. It's called finding your own meaning, as lying to yourself would mean you're ignoring the basic facts at the beginning of your post (before the whining).
Finding your own meaning comes after acceptance of said facts, and your own way of dealing with them.

You seem to be avoiding finding your own answer, either because some theoretical third-world hunger victim will laugh it off, or perhaps because you believe there is some universal truth or solid justification that trumps all others.

The point is that there is no one "point" for everyone.
There are no universal justifications.

Your problem seems not to be one of nihilism, but plain pessimism and nitpicking. You're focused on the wrong things, for whatever reason.

If you truly believe there is no point to anything, including the relative "worth" of an opinion or suffering or whatever, then...why do you care?

tl;dr You're confused, you're rambling, and you srsly need to grow a set.
>> No. 568
>>566

My issue is that I'm not happy (satisfied or fulfilled) and I don't know why. I feel like I'm in a lot of pain and when I try to articulate it, it just comes out as first world problems from some spoiled rotten piece of shit.

I don't know how to make a purpose for myself. I'm a freak, so someone to love is out. And finding someone to love simply for that purpose is misguided and stupid. Some devote themselves to gods, but intellectually I can't believe, even if, emotionally, I want to.



As for impermanence equals irrelevance/insignificance - let's put it this way: Say you have a huge project you've spent like a year on. Maybe it's a work of art, or maybe it's a master's project. But as you're putting up the finishing touches, a dog tears it up or your HDD fails then, taking it out. You know that feeling?

Now let's put it this way. You want to work with others to make a better future. You're never going to experience it, but you don't care. But your position is usually dismissed because some nations of the second/third world constructed a cardboard version as an official political doctrine. Or something similar. Maybe your critics are absolutely right, after all, their hearts are in the right place and opposition to you doesn't make them wrong. You're probably just retarded.

So you try to see things things put to practice. But you can't get any objective results because that's not how the system works. You either let it fuck you, or you game it to exploit others and get rich. Trying to substitute something better fails 99% percent of the time, and even then it takes everybody's support. So instead you try to help out, by, say, volunteering. But that impact is so local and so weak - of, say, every 1000 people you help, it only really affects one person, and, due to the circumstances under which that person has needed help, your efforts get actively upended by the time of the next generation. What have you done? Jack squat.

So how can you live with yourself, then? If you've done nothing but suck up air and food, how can you distinguish between yourself and a parasite?

I mean, don't get me wrong - I don't want the glory or the infamy. I just want people to live a better life - not because of me, not in spite of me, but relative to me.



On existentialist bullshit - I get it. There is no universal truth. But your method - "finding your own answer" - implies that there's one to be found. Oh, wait, universal truth? Well the thing about truth is that it's always universal - no, your reason to live may not apply to others, but your reason to live, if based on truth, is undeniable.

If you go looking for a purpose, how do you know you're not just looking for an excuse? Making a purpose or finding one - how do you know you're not just childishly substituting something fanciful instead of facing a cold, hard truth?





Why do I care? Because if there's one thing I know, it's that I'm deeply afraid of pain. I know that just because I don't have a purpose and no one really may, there are some admirable bastards who do or think that they do, and I'd rather not get in their way. So I feel like I should off myself, but I'm afraid of the pain and I don't know how to avoid the pain or conquer the fear. I guess I didn't acknowledged the other end of it before because I'm just a coward and my instinct is to run away, not learn to fight.

And all of you who say crap like "your focusing on the wrong things", fuck you. You're saying that because I'm not ignoring my pathetic little problems, I have them. They're there whether one ignores them or not. Would a dirty dish clean itself, if you applied the same logic?



But, you ignored my last question. Why do you live? What excuse do you use to continue eating food that could go to others, making messes for other people, taking people's time up, or bringing lives into this world without their consent, when someone healthier and more intelligent could be doing it all more better and more meaningfully? Meaning being what yields fulfillment and satisfaction with life.


Sorry. Sorry.
>> No. 570
>>568
Let me try this again:
I don't believe there are universal truths, only personal ones.
These personal truths, by their nature, will only mean something to that person and that person alone. How people find their own truths and reach their own conclusions is also solely up to them.
Nothing personal can ever be objectively/completely/conclusively/definitively/etc. proven to others.
What others think of your truths, and what you think of theirs, are equally meaningless.
This also goes for how you view yourself, and what others think of your self-perceptions.

Your problem is one of attitude.
I said you're focusing on the wrong things, because I think you really are focusing on the wrong things. While you might not be ignoring your problems, you're not really going about them in a constructive way.
Your rampant pessimism means you already see yourself, and all efforts possible (by yourself or others), as futile and worthless. Nothing constructive can come of this.

Nothing can be discussed, when all ideas will be shot down.

tl;dr You're confused and depressed. That much I got.
>> No. 571
>>570
thanks. I don't really know how to convince myself of that, I guess. So to you that last question is, so to speak, wù?
>> No. 585
You're right. There's isn't a single point to life.

And that's fucking fantastic.

Think about it. The entire universe is a cycle of create, destroy, create, destroy. Do what you want, there is no reason not to. The human race is a gigantic party.

Honestly OP, I find your reason for being depressed my reason for living. If nothing matters, why wouldn't you try to be the most you can be? Nothing is expected of you, and as Crane would say, nature does not care if you live or die.

If I knew there was some omnipresent force setting a bar and a limit on my existence, then I'd be depressed.
>> No. 586
>>585
Pain.

It's too much pain. It's not worth it. Why party, when the next morning you're just going to be hungover? Why party, when it does nothing but make your problems worse by ignoring their real threat and letting them fester like an open wound amongst a cloud of flies?


In such a situation, how do you get anything of worth done? What the hell pushes you to school?

And how the hell do you justify yourself when confronted with the fact that others have it so much worse than you? It is better to deserve honours and not have them than to have them and not to deserve them.

What would happen if tomorrow you awoke, to find that you had a stroke, leaving you dead from the neck down. Consigned now to that life, how's your party now?

Look, here's the thing. Happiness is given too much importance in your Weltsanschauung. Chimps are happy. How can you settle for that?
>> No. 590
Emotions are just in your head, if you are constantly feeling down then maybe you need some medication and/or a therapist to discuss how you can enjoy your life more/what is stopping you from doing so.
>> No. 592
>>590
Put a few rose colored glasses, then? But that distorts the truth. Here's the thing; you can't escape emotions, and you can't escape the truth. Lying to yourself to convince yourself there's a purpose will dissolve the second you're confronted with something that contradicts your reason - whence politics. Any sane man who values truth, I think, would sooner kill himself than make himself a puppet of the drugs. Sides, you know what happens when that drug wears off.


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